The Big Purple Coat

(the tree I picked the other day)

Last year I contemplated this post – it could be in my journals somewhere for all I know… but I had hoped not to post it until I could grace you with a beautiful “before” and “after” shot of the new, updated and hopefully fashionable coat. But alas there is no new coat, and yet the story begs to be told.

Years ago, when I was 14 and shopping in the mall with my Mom and sister (most likely walking a few feet either behind or in front of them – annoyingly I was that kind of teenager), we happened upon a store that was going out of business and clearing out all of their winter wear. My “jacket” was going on a two or three years of wearing and was starting to climb up my wrists. Mom generously offered to buy both of us our own brand spankin’ new coats – I think I even got a hat and mitts to go with it. The coat was, in the early 90’s totally “in” with the aqua stripe to match all the aqua mini-vans that were coming out. Anyways, the coat is seriously the warmest thing on the planet. I never shiver where the coat covers and am always the warmest Canadian around (after living in Hawaii that was a difficult title to re-claim). Another 14 years have passed and that silly coat just won’t fade, rip, or become tattered in any shape or form (except in my mind’s eye). I am desperate for a new coat, as the big purple Barney coat is anything but flattering or fashionable… but I just can’t spend money on a new winter coat when I have a perfectly good, I mean, warm one.

Oh I’ve tried. I’ve shopped clearance sales, determined not to have to undergo another embarrassing winter wearing the coat of death. But I’m so picky as to the fit (I have abnormally LONG arms), I need pockets for kleenexes, extra mittens, chapstick, etc., I hate the kind that have in inner and outer layer , and of course it MUST be warm – and I just can’t find anything comparable to that factor that is within my budget (which really is non-existent for the time being!)

This year I’d had it. I’ve basically frozen walking around wearing the green fleece or other skimpy jackets, so mortified am I to be seen in “The Big Purple Coat”… but the cold has come and my pride has withered away and it seems another winter (my last, I swear) of this horrid coat has commenced.

So should you see me walking around (trust me, I can’t be missed) just know that I may look like Barney, but I’m not feeling any ounce of cold – except for my feet (cause don’t let me start about the aqua boots I got to match the coat that year!)

BFF

I love listening to my daughter and her best friend interact. Always a treat. I try not to post anything incriminating on here... but this was too funny.

J: I am so excited for Thanksgiving! It's going to be, like, so fun.
E: Yeah. Hey, did you know that David Archuleta is going to be in the parade.
J: What?! You have got to be kidding me.
E: No. I'm not.
J: Well, I know you're not. Why's he going to be in the parade?
E: Because he's a famous singer, silly.
J: I know that.
E: And he's rich.
J: He is?
E: Didn't you know that?
J: No. How did he get rich?
E: All great singers are rich.
J: Not all singers are rich.
E: Pretty much.
J: I'm not rich.
E: Well yeah. And I'm a great singer too, but I'm not rich.
J: Well, not yet.
E: No. We're like the only ones.
J: But if we marry David we'll be rich.
E: Ooooh. Good idea.

Muggling

We’ve hit a huge “Harry Potter” hype over here. We read the book together a couple of years ago, and so I thought it would be fun to listen to in the car. Huge hit. We’ve been measuring out wands (which are definitely my weapon of choice), practicing gibberish spells and playing quidditch (not the safest indoor sport, I’m finding). For movie night I let the kids watch the first movie, and they loved it – and we’ve only had a few nightmares since. I’m often having to get into character and be whichever teacher at Hogwarts I’m told to be. Quite fun, especially when I’ve been feeling not at all magical and mostly like a Muggle.

You know how it is. The day to day grind. The “just trying to get a few things done off my to-do list” while my toddler climbs up the piano or swings from my curtains while throwing some sort of dried up nasty food bits at my head. I’m not blaming my fourth child on anything: I love him to pieces, we all do. The age he is kicks my butt, but it’s not just that either. It seems that since I gave birth, or even since I was pregnant I’ve just been kind of muddling along. There were the excuses for why I couldn’t get in gear beyond the day to day – “bedrest”, “just gave birth”, “exhaustion”, etc. But while I am quite sure I will always be a little bit tired for the rest of my life, I’ve lost that extra umph somewhere and keep thinking it will be just around the corner when “I’m no longer Primary President”, “Mr. Man has a job”, “I have my own little house”… and yet, I know that’s just gibberish. I used to plan all sorts of fun things, and now I feel like the holidays and events that used to cause me to plan and party just sort of pass by pleasantly. I’m must muddling through… or muggling I suppose.

Maybe it will get better. Perhaps there are parties and projects in my future or perhaps that’s just a part of my past. Either way, I feel happy muggling. Though ordinary, I’m content and satisfied. It makes the moments of magic that much better. The moments where time stops and you realize just how adorable that little smile is, how significant a sentence spoken seems, and how incredibly loved you can feel to have someone special wash all the dishes after a long month of applications. I’m thankful to be a Muggle. But in the meantime, I’m off pretending to be Professor McGonagle.

I AM AMERICAN

Deep breath. It’s done. I did it. It was a big hoopla for a sweet little piece of paper that now unites our family – we are all dual citizens now. I suppose that may make me a Canarican, but that sounds too close to canary and as my daughter verified today that “Mommy, you really can’t sing can you?” as I belted out some song with the radio, we’ll just stick to the term “dual citizen”.

I went for my oath on Friday. We decided to make it a family event and also a day of being in our State’s capital. I got to pick out everyone’s outfits and it was to be a nice event. Strangely enough I was invited to be part of the oath at the “International Festival” where we stood in line for hours just to register and then had a makeshift courtroom rolled in so that we could be sworn in “officially”. There were 260 people being naturalized, and we represented 77 different countries; mine being the most un-exotic of them all. We had to stand when our country was called, and the most represented were India and Mexico. Realizing how many nationalities were there was pretty awe-inspiring, and imagining their lives and stories was invigorating. The rest was long and boring. We had to do our oath twice because the first time was “practice” since the judge’s assistant forgot to ask us to raise our right hand. Then, because it was an international festival, every committee and their mother had to give a speech, read a letter from their superior and congratulate us.

I was to be there at 1pm and so we imagined it would take about an hour, after which we would go to the Children’s Museum around the corner before dropping Mr. Man off at the airport. When I was still at the back of the long line a little before two, I told Mr. Man to take the kids… and really he wins Father of the Year for taking all four children by himself to the Children’s Museum. They had a fun time and returned exhausted and done close to four. Though I am regularly quite a lucky person, when it came time to draw a number for when I would go up to receive my certificate of citizenship, I drew #258 – the third last person to be called up. The kids were a wreck by that point, the camera left in the car and our special family ceremony was sort of a flop. And after about four hours of it all, I really could have cared less. One small blessing was that when were had to find our numbers for our seats, which were in narrow long rows, I was on an end. Helping my claustrophobia and making it easier to be with my family when they arrived.

I made friends with several individuals – mostly the ones who had children who weren’t fortunate enough to leave and go to a fun museum. It was enjoyable to entertain their children, and speak with their parents. And, for the record, nose picking in young children is absolutely a world-wide phenomenon (not just North American). One small child even made a meal of it.
We barely got Mr. Man to the airport on time and then regrettably had to stop for McDonalds for dinner. I suppose we really are American now!

One cute side note: When the kids arrived, Miss J asked if I was an American yet, I told her I was and just needed my certificate to prove it. She looked at my face earnestly for a few moments and then remarked, “You look different now.” Maybe it’s the foot softening lotion!

One more side note: Of course I brought no reading material!!! I was so bummed. A girl a few seats down from me pretty much read ALL of "Pride and Prejudice" while we waited!

These are a Few of My Favourite Things

There are a multitude of blogs and websites dedicated to this, along with certain TV personalities. But I did want to share a few of my random favourite things in the hopes that I may pass on a bit of my “old Mom” wisdom, suggest a few last-minute (yes, it’s already considered last-minute) Christmas shopping ideas, or at the very least give you more pictures and less writing to look at on my blog.

For my LDS friends:

Love these books for ALL my kids – the pictures are fun, the stories are real and there are even Family Home Evening Lessons ready-made at the end of each “chapter”.

We have volumes 1-4 and recently acquired this one (Thanks Grandma)!These are our “Sunday” toys, but are usually out all week long. Hours of fun to be had.
Great stocking stuffers. They're on sale at Desert Book now, but are usually cheaper at Seagull Books. We also love these:
We have a girl set and a boy set who are lovingly named Elder E, Elder T, Sister J and Sister E (after Miss J's best friend).

I’m often asked where I bought my little red stroller. I didn’t. I traded it from my mother-in-law because I loved it so much. It was bought at Zellers in Canada, but I have recently found that Wal-Mart.com sells it, a bit upgraded (this one appears to have a larger underneath basket and also reclines to a better sleeping position than mine). I love this stroller because it is sleek, lightweight and easy to zip up and down, has a five point harness, seems to be comfortable for babe, and has super tall and comfortable handles – a necessity in our family. My only qualm with it is that the shade/visor doesn’t come down far enough to do much shading for smaller infants. It's also extremely affordable when comparison shopping. Love this for displaying my kids’ artwork. I’ve had lots of little kids’ kitchens – all from yard sales or second hand stores. But this is here to stay. (I can't find it at Target.com, but we bought it at a Target store.) We love this little kitchen and it is well used by all. We also have the tool bench (which is also really cute, but I can't find anywhere online), though I admit our tools are still used on my own kitchen table more than on the tool bench.
I’ve posted this before, but we use this several times every day. I admit, I too have used this ridiculous contraption. Saves on dishes, eases thirst. And it's only $2.99.

That's it for now. Enjoy.

This Morning Came Way Too Early

It was only when I was about to rub acne cream on my feet that I realized I'd just washed my face with softening foot lotion. Why is it that when it's cold my body is even less likely to want to get up in the morning, and my eyes refuse to open until long after the shower ends?

Give Thanks

Today I am thankful for...
-many wonderful friends, without whom we couldn't have gotten through last week
-my parents who came and shared good times and bad
-a roof over my head, a floor beneath my feet and a home to call my own
-medicine and sleep which are slowly healing all the ailments in our home
-soup and smoothies
-Mr. Man's first upcoming job interview (will him to be better in time)
-having all of my homeschooling books and supplies again
-my telephone and internet
-my own bed... which I shall fall into shortly
- each of my beautiful children (who are thankfully almost all asleep!)
- my poor sick husband... truly I am even more grateful now for what he does when he is well
-my scriptures: even just sitting for 20 minutes to read (my goal this week) brings such peace, comfort and reprieve

Strep Throat

I'll be glad when this week is over... so far I'm the only one who isn't sick. Wish me luck! Yeah for soup, popsicles, candy canes and laying around in a hotel watching Star Wars! The kids think this is great. Our second time in fairy tale land, living in a castle!

I never liked my kitchen anyways...

Finally a moment online... I will post details later. Our "adventure" has now taken us to a hotel and we hope to return home this weekend.

Election Year

Truth be told I was hoping to be able to vote this year. This was such a fantastic election, and I would have loved to have been a part of history. Several weeks ago I took and passed my citizenship test, but only just received the date of which I will say my oath and be officially sworn in. Afterwhich I will be a naturalized citizen of the United States - fair and square; it has cost me hundreds and hundreds of dollars, time and stress. And in four years, I'll be able to vote for my first time ever... oh, and I'll also be over 30.

To compensate, we're running our own mini-election here at home. The position at stake: Sunday night's dinner. Each family member has nominated a fruit, vegetable, main dish and dessert. (We even had a couple of duplicates.) The tension in our home has risen as each person, supporting "candidates", begins campaigning. Posters, speeches, even bribes have ensued. And hurt feelings too. We'll see how this goes, as we may have some sad losers. Suddenly, even though beef stroganof has always been a family favourite, the boys are adament that it is inherantly evil and horribly tasting, while Miss J fights frantically to convince them of the benefits of electing this main dish. Thankfully my parents will be here to add a few more votes. I saw this idea, very much elaborated, in some parenting magazine in a doctor's office. If it goes well, it may become a new November tradition.

Speaking of election year and November traditions, we seem to have a nasty one in our house. Four years ago, our hot water heater was leaking and apparently had completely deteriorated the drywall of two of the walls in our home so that they were collapsing. Days before hosting a household of people for Thanksgiving, I had maintenance come in and tear down, dry out, and rebuild the walls. A horrible time. Four years later... on Tuesday we were running a small load of wash when a few gallons of water started leaking out of our utility closet. We called maintenance (yeah for not owning our own house yet) and they decided something was clogged and brought in the snake. We went to the park and returned to a find a note requiring us to NOT use our washer and CONTACT the office IMMEDIATELY. I picked up to call right when maintenance returned to my door to share the dreaded news. They had broken a pipe. Now they are going to have to jackhammer up all of my floor and basically we have to leave our house for at least three days while they work. At least this year I'm NOT hosting Thanksgiving. And thankfully we have wonderful friends who are letting us camp out and have an "adventure" as we're calling it. Originally the work was to begin yesterday (my parents arrive for a few days today), but thankfully we won't be kicked out of our home until early Monday morning. The plan is that we can sleep back in our own beds Wednesday night. Time will tell.

Well I best go and make a cute poster suggesting you all vote for lasagna. Actually, I'm thinking stickers may go over well here.

So, what's wrong with THIS family picture?

And... the realization...

And a Jar Full of Spiders

We have a plethora of costumes at our house. So many so, that it takes a lot of begging for me to actually buy anything new (or used) for Halloween. However, the begging ensued, Mr. Man budged and I gave in. When Halloween actually came and two of the “new to us” costumes weren’t being worn, Little E comforted me by insisting, “Don’t worry Mommy, I’m going to wear that one for Easter.” Well at least my Easter shopping is done now. Hopefully nobody at church minds too much when he’s dressed as a power ranger.

My sleepy lion
Peter Pan... by the way, the dagger is missing, if anyone's seen it!

Annakin Skywalker - from episode something or other
A Vampire Princess or "just a princess" once the teeth go missing

It’s been a busy fall at our house, and our pumpkin didn’t actually get carved until the day before Halloween. Miss J had a half day at school and so the boys planned a little party for when she returned. We had fun, and even Baby J enjoyed coloring some decorations.

We made “trick or treat” sushi for a dinner party we attended – thanks Stephanie for the great idea. The boys did it all and were thrilled to trick everyone:

Our family was split for Halloween since Miss J was invited to a birthday party. Mr. Man went trick or treating with her and I took the boys on a much shorter route! We all had fun, but missed being together. Here's some of our group we were with:


I found this idea on somebody else’s blog (sorry, I can’t remember whose)Mr. T enjoyed painting it with his feet and fists, and it hung on our door fading from the hot sun… it has been crazy weather here again:
Probably the most lasting impression of this Halloween season has been the jar full of spiders that have haunted me day and night. We made applesauce last month and gave a few jars to friends. One friend, who shall remain nameless, thought it would be fun to return the jar full of spiders. And really it was a cute idea. And no, they weren’t real… but still. One in particular is quite large and disgusting looking and is hiding somewhere in my house right now or else I would take a picture of it for you. Anyways, I have great fear and trepidation of spiders, and I’m pretty sure every person in my town knows this for my screams. The boys (and Mr. Man) have hidden this huge spider in random places ever since it made its way into our home. I have woken up with it on my face, gone to bed to find it between my sheets, seen it in the dishwasher, on the sink, on my seat in the van… you name it. Not knowing where it is, is the worst possible feeling. It’s only slightly better than when my boys owned a rubber snake. Ugh.

I'm glad Halloween is now a whole year away. I'm ready for Christmas music.

Halloween Rules

Mr. Man forces everyone to stick their hand in when we do this fun family activity, as you may recall. Baby J got off his first year (when he was only 2 months old)... but not this year.

I definitely see therapy in his future.

Follow-Ups

A friend paid me a compliment the other day that has kept me thinking and wondering, and judging myself, my writing and especially my blog. She compared my blog to a book she is reading which consists of multiple unrelated, though interesting and thought-provoking, essays. And so I ask myself, can anyone follow my posts? Are my thoughts so random and unrelated? Can you keep up with my life? Are you left with questions and wondering what happened next? I admit some of you drive me mad when you mention the dilemma of what to fix for refreshment for bookclub and then never reveal what you ended up making. I will often check to find out how a child is faring who has been ill, or wait patiently for a friend who has announced she is pregnant to truly dish how she is feeling... and looking. So you see I am a two-faced blogger.

So for the sake of not driving myself, or anyone else mad… I propose a question and answer blog. I will run a few follow-ups and then allow you to ask any question you want (though I may or may not answer… as I’m the queen here!)

*My back is still horrendous, though improving day by day and the pain is duller thanks to my son’s prednisone that found its way into my body. I still can’t lift my baby or bend over, though I did manage to sweep my floor tonight (it’s been left amuck since Saturday). Thanks to some wonderful friends and an incredible husband, I survived 2 days straight on the couch (oh the memories). And thankfully the Lord has answered my prayer for my baby to be extra tired and he is taking two naps again! I can’t believe how much a back can affect your life. Incredible. I will be so grateful when this is over… and it will be, right?!

*Baby’s head has healed up nicely, though it is a lovely shade of pink now and seems to get more comments now than it did when it was a nasty owie. I think he just needs another summer coat to even it out. We’ll see. (Ooops, there I go again, leaving you with more things to wonder about.)

(And yes, he's eating food off the floor at a church halloween party. Gross.)

*Positive reinforcement has worked wonders and the food that ends up on the floor from baby is usually accompanied with a worried look, as it tends to be accidental. He is also doing more signs now, so that is nice for communication. He loves to “clean up” and sing the song and do the sign. He sounds more like “eeengg guck” though, and it makes me laugh! On another note, that I may not have mentioned about baby, he sings himself to sleep. Usually you can make out the tune “I am a child of God.” I love it.

*Mr. T missed his fever last month and is looking good for this month too (knock on wood). We’ve been struggling a bit with some of Little E’s behavior, and have been discussing and praying about whether homeschooling Mr. T has affected him. While the solution to that problem isn’t quite apparent, I have felt very strongly that keeping Mr. T home has kept him healthy, and for that we are extremely grateful. Plus we’re having fun learning together.

*As for homeschooling, many of you have questioned what curriculum or method I am using. Really it is just a smorgasbord of such. I consulted with friends, read a few books and then bought some that I felt would be interesting and fun for us. Some I love, others are okay, but really, it’s just kindergarten and I’m not too worried. I have goals for what I expect him to have learned and what level I want him at for next year, but we’re not too rigid. My weekly “plans” that I created have run out and this week it was by the seat of my pants and we still did okay. It’s definitely a lot more work and I have to be willing to let other things slide (which is hard for me), but it’s enjoyable too. He’s a fun, sweet kid and that makes it exciting, and I hope one day he remembers that his Mom taught him to read.

*Miss J has continued to make lists and plans galore. She is currently organizing a talent show, manhandling a few organized playdates, and creating Christmas creations for cousins. Not to mention spending hours each week at gymnastics - with which she has a love hate relationship....I know, that's a whole other post though. We're all excited for the next two half-school-days!

*I swear I never used to have these sorts of problems. Last thing to go through my wash: a tube of lipstick. Totally my fault. And totally didn't come out with any of the suggestions I found in my homemaking stain books or online. Frown.

Any questions?

Back to Basics

As a child, I thought there were some funny things about my parents. But you know, every child thinks that, right? For one thing, my mother had to wear these crazy thick pantyhose day in and day out. I remember helping her peel them off before bed and then handing them back to her when she awoke and before she could stand up. I think this must have been for her daily afternoon nap, which she still takes by the way, since I remember 6:30 pm being my bedtime until I was at least 17 (okay, not quite, but pretty close). Also my parents’ bed was tilted with these ginormous wooden block contraptions holding the foot of the bed several inches off the floor. My mom had the leg problem I had a slight version of during my pregnancy. I remember being utterly embarrassed when she was pregnant and we were forced to sit on the front row at church with her leg and foot up in the air. Now I know how it feels to be that leg and foot. While mine has continued, it has been to a much lesser degree, and hers obviously wasn’t. The funny thing was, often when I would enter my parents’ room (and usually bed – why do all kids do this?) early each morning, I would find my Mom sleeping with her feet up in the air and next to her my Dad’s feet. He, being an allergy sufferer, couldn’t handle the incline and so, inevitably, they lovingly slept with each other’s feet. As a child this was a bit silly, now it makes me guffaw. Other mornings we would enter only to find my Dad with his head and neck hanging down the bed end, face bright red, focused and intent on the “exercises” he was doing for his back and neck. Both my parents had back problems too – could it have been that silly bed? I don’t know. Regardless, I remember the “wieners and sausages” we called them, a sort of neck brace that Dad often had to wear when in discomfort. As a child, I always thought that a heating pad was meant to stay on the big chair, I didn’t understand how intense and horrible back pain can be, and how a little heat can bring huge relief. It’s funny how the memories all come flooding in. Not so funny when you can relate.

This morning I went up to hug my sleepy-eyed four year old boy who was standing at the top of the stairs, confused because he had slept in for the first time ever and was wondering where we all were. I hugged him and picked him up and took two steps down the stairs with him in my arms… and then my back went out. It’s horrible. I can’t bend down to get something I dropped, I can’t pick up my baby, I can’t carry my diaper bag or church bag or any bag, and any little movement – including a cough or sneeze – are death-defying. I remember Dad’s big sneezes and then his cringing “ow” – but now, unfortunately, I can relate.

So I’m getting old, apparently. I even took a nap today. As I lay with a heating pad on my back and now prepare to take a hot bath (I hate baths), I’m trying to figure out how I’m going to get everything done when Mr. Man leaves tomorrow morning. Hopefully I’ll sleep it right and wake up feeling all better. I really don’t want it to linger longer and go see a doctor who encourages me to do funny exercises hanging off the back of my bed. But time will tell.

Day by Day

Each week we set a new goal, or else re-dedicate ourselves more fervently to last week’s goal. It has something to do with our family motto being Emil Coué’s famous quote “Every day in every way I am getting better and better.” Mr. T’s goal this week was once again to learn to tie his shoes. I admit, I tend to steer their minds a bit when coming up with their goals, and I am more than tired of having to tie up 6 shoes (possible 8, if my own need tying) every time we go outside. Another pet peeve is on the edge of vanishing as well, as Little E works on his goal to “Wipe my bum”. I cringe every time I hear him holler “I’m all done!” in that silly sing-song way he does and then hold my breath as I bend down to wipe yet another rear. Not fun. I made the mistake of asking my kids what they thought Mommy’s goal should be; here’s what I got thrown in my face:
*No yelling
*Give yourself a reading lesson (instead of Mr. T)
*Give your kids more treats
*Eat breakfast with your kids (I tend to eat before or after them so I can read to them)
*Take care of Baby J
*Don’t give us so much clean laundry to put away
*Play piano more

The week that hasn't even really started yet

It's been a bad day. I admit. Mr. Man will return around 1am tonight and that is a very good thing. I can't believe he used to leave for a week or so every month. This kills me. My sister-in-laws who are going through months of this are saints.

He has our van (and our second car passed away several weeks ago) so we are on foot. Which really is fine. Except for when you're walking for 1/2 hour to church and your four year old decides now would be a good time to tell you that his church shoes are really WAY too small and he has horrible blisters on his heels so needs to be carried while you push the stroller. Then it would be extremely convenient for your daughter to suddenly get a stomach bug of some sort that entails both vomiting and diarrhea (I hate that word), which would mean having to make a huge scene in sacrament meeting and then walk home again (though, thankfully a friend happened to be in the hall to perceive what we were about to do and drove us home, and thankfully nobody vomited in her van).

Three hours of church was actually something I was looking forward to on a in-house-bound day, so it was a LONG day for all of us. Mr. Man and I spent some time on the phone doing our weekly planning. Incredibly the week is already completely filled up with no room for incidentals (or stomach bugs - are you reading this?!) I'm already overwhelmed and NOT looking forward to the week. I've been spending some time pondering how to make it survivable, and I decided I'm going to be Summer Mom this week. Remember her? So, now I'm filled with less dread, more hope and actually a little skip to my skepticism. Here's to the week that hasn't even really started yet; may you all have the sanity and strength to survive, and maybe even smile!

Subtle Changes

As the seasons change, the subtle changes in my children seem more apparent as well. There's the drastic change and jumps in pant sizes, the increased knowledge and skill in sports and music, the jokes are funnier, the conversations more mature, and the questions more meaningful. In a small way, the season of my life is changing. A leaf has fallen; a passing. Often I look back wondering if I savored the seasons passed, did I enjoy the heat, the chills, the daily highs and the lows? And I think I did.

And besides, there are still many more seasons to enjoy.
(PS - I think he could be Edward Cullen)

Double Hitter

Notice a nice wound on either side of his sweet little head. Walking is wonderful, falling hurts. Two days in a row is even worse. Ouch.

The Dissert*tion **ptop

Mr. Man is up to his eyeballs in dissertation writing. Were that all he were up to his eyeballs in, that wouldn’t be so bad. But he is still teaching, working on all the applications for a gazillion potential jobs, fulfilling his church calling and responsibilities, as well as being the best Dad, homework helper, dish washer, toy fixer, loving and supportive husband around. (The man even cleaned the bathroom and did the grocery shopping last week in exchange for some editing.) He has conferences to attend, regressions to run, and lunches to be had with special people from special places. And in the midst of it all, as I said, a dissertation to complete on a laptop that thinks it is done. Well, at least the “L”, “A”, “CTRL”, and the period are done working. They stick and refuse to participate in said dissertation, period. It’s like the book “Ella Minnow Pea”. Tonight the screen stopped working, while the computer was still running. But it has to make it. There is no money until there is a job. And there is no job until there is a dissertation. And there will be no dissertation without the laptop. Perhaps it can sense that we have already planned its demise; specifically, it will be dropped several stories from the stairwell in the building Mr. Man studies in – from a location where we can see downward to its final doom and destruction. Silly **ptop. I suppose you have to blame an incomplete dissertation on something.