Broken

I hate when I have those bad mom moments. You know, the ones where you totally lose your cool and almost immediately regret and ultimately have to apologize. Inevitably those moments do happen. Especially when a) Mr. Man is gone for an extended period of time, b) I’m tired, and c) the dishwasher is out of commission and I’m it. Combine a, b, and c and you get me – last night. I lost it. It was a good 30 minutes past bedtime (but pretty much hours past my tolerance level) and after hustling through stories, bathing four children (and usually who can be upset when you have clean, sweet-smelling children?), and holding back from strangling THE whiner, not slapping the little echo nor seriously injuring the second mother, the worst possible thing that could happen did – (yeah, my evening was about as long as this completely un-grammatically correct run-on sentence). I went to go tuck in my little darlings, stepped into the boys’ dark bedroom and stepped on a toy with my bad foot and leg (as they both belong to the same). I uttered such words as should not be uttered in front of impressionable young children; I called the toy “stupid” and then I launched it across the room. Ironically it was a star wars spaceship of some sort, but the scene of it flying didn’t merit any “oohs” and “aahs”. I was instead rewarded with tears, and shocked expressions, as the toy was now broken, Daddy not here to fix it, and my hugs were unwanted after such a terrible display. I felt guilty, but I also felt validated in my actions – had I not asked them to pick up all their toys? I figured we all needed a good night’s sleep and it would be forgotten in the morning.

Not so. Little E carried the “pieces” around with him all morning. Loading everyone up early this morning he turned to our neighbor who was doing the same with her crew and announced, “My Mommy broke my toy. She yelled at me, threw it and broke it.” My neighbor turned to me with a smile and we both burst out laughing. I guess I’m not the only one who has bad mom moments!