Scared

So, over a month ago I received a very peculiar phone call. It was completely out of the blue and unexpected. I was asked to be a keynote speaker at youth conference. My first thought was, "Don't you want to fly someone in from Utah?" My second thought was, "You do know I'm in Primary?" I wondered how the youth would enjoy my rendition of "Open them, shut them..." But then I grew excited at the challenge; something unlike anything I had ever done. I started listening to and reading talks by professional youth speakers, I pulled out my folder of stuff I saved from youth conferences past - where I was attending as a youth, not a speaker. And then I wrote, re-wrote and wrote again. I had everything pretty much completed before our trip and then spent a few mornings watching the kids play outside memorizing my presentation - making it mine. And now, I am scared to death. I have a few group activities, I think I'm involving them enough, but will they laugh at my jokes and stories? Will my presentation be what those who asked me expected? My ending still stinks, I'm not happy with it. And I present on Saturday. I am completely second-guessing myself, and wondering why I, who absolutely dreads public speaking, consented to this from the start. A perfect stranger from the Stake Young Women's presidency called the other day asking for interesting things about me for my introduction, I was like, "Well, I'm not very interesting, but I'm left-handed." Dull. She insisted she knew I would do a great job, and I told her she must have a lot of faith. I'm sort of counting down until it's over. Then maybe I'll have something interesting for my next introduction, "This spectacular woman fainted and nearly had a heart-attack the last time she stood up in front of a group of youth, and so we're very pleased to have her here with us today - and no that's not a sunburn, she just turns bright red at any mention of herself." Yeah, wish me luck. Perhaps I'll break a leg.

Our Trip: Part II

At long last we stopped at our destination: Killarney. The rain had stopped and it was beautiful. We enjoyed several days in a cabin and at Grandma and Papa’s boat. We went hiking, swimming, fishing, exploring, boating and were outside from sun-up to sun-down. The fresh air was remarkable and it felt so healthy to be outside so much.

Baby J found his sea legs before his land legs, and began walking on the boat! He also had his first wasp sting while hiking… so sad. The other three were grand explorers and loved all the rock-climbing that was to be had. Each took turns sleeping on the boat with their grandparents, though the one gone was always sorely missed by siblings early the next morning.

Mr. Man aged well on our trip and turned the ripe old age of 30. We celebrated with fish and chips, cheesecake with a blueberry sauce made from wild blueberries that Miss J had picked as her gift, and then a sailboat ride for him and I sans children. It was my first time and was really relaxing despite my fears and trepidation while signing all the waivers!

The days went by quickly and soon we were returning home. We split up our journey again, stopping our first night at one of our favourite spot from vacations past, Driftwood Cove. We arrived after seven at night, but that didn’t stop us from spending a few hours on the beach before baths and bed.

We started again early the next day and drove to my parents. Mr. Man and I enjoyed taking naps and letting the kids roam and play outside and inside with all the legos, enjoying their last few hours with Uncle before we won’t see him again for two years.

Some of you may remember the bad news from Mr. Man’s birthday last year, when my youngest brother was in a terrible car accident. His remarkable recovery has been miracle after miracle. In less than a year he has re-learned to walk, talk, think and re-act. Were you to meet him, you would never know that he had suffered a severe brain injury. I don’t ever think my brother will be “normal” though – he is remarkable. He leaves early next week to serve a mission for our church, to share his sweet testimony and serve all those around him. We will miss him; he has been a big part of our family’s life, and the kids worship him endlessly.

Sunday was his farewell talk and open house. We were glad to see my other brother and his wife and enjoy their company again too, as we celebrated our baby brother’s milestone.

We left before the sun rose yesterday and were all sick and tired of being in the van by the time we made it home. We have done a lot and the kids have many fun stories and adventures to share and write about in their journals. But in the end, there is no place like home. (Except for a home with no laundry!!!)

Our Trip: Part I

We have returned from our family vacation: a worthy hiatus from blogging. The van is unpacked, has been vacuumed twice (don’t ask!), ten loads of laundry successfully done and almost put away, and the groceries have been re-stocked. The baby is happy to roam free and sleep at regular times in his regular spot, though he screams for even the shortest car-ride now; anticipating numerous hours. We are glad to be home, but we truly had a great time.

We started off early Saturday and stopped at our usual pit stop to eat breakfast, change out of our pjs and let the kiddos run wild amidst the dog poop and wildflowers.

We stopped in my home town where nobody from my family lives anymore and stayed with my best-friend from growing up’s family. The kids reveled in the two dogs, one a very young and hyper puppy, and then were treated to riding their horse at a nearby stable. We had a great visit and were thankful to have such a nice place to stop on our long trip.

Sunday after church we had planned to have a picnic with Oma, but the weather decided against us and so we gathered at Oma’s tiny apartment (meeting up with and inviting my parents and brother as well). It was a real family day and enjoyed by all. Then we took off to drive north again and stop to have dinner with my sister. She treated us spectacularly and we had a nice stay with her (and Mr. Man had a nice nap!) Then northward we went.

We stopped for the night at a hotel that alas did not have free breakfast. So we took off early and expected to find something along the way. Northern Canada is very sparse in the breakfast (or any other) department. We finally found a gas station and learned that Subway makes breakfast subs. It was pouring rain and we were happy to warm up and continue up North. I still cannot believe how North we went, and how long we drove!!!

Playdates

I’ve been really bad about playdates for about the past year, and especially this summer. My kids are built in playdates for each other and really play well together (most of the time) and so I’m lazy and don’t often make the effort anymore to invite others into our fun. (I used to really schedule weekly playdates for each of my kids!) Plus I have this baby who wonder of all wonders still takes two forever long naps. And if he doesn’t… yikes! So we’re home a lot having quiet indoor fun or outback fun, just us. And I don’t think they’re deprived, though I sometimes feel guilty about the lack of friends coming and going in our home. I’m a big believer in the fact that you only have so many years to choose your children’s friends (I think a teen might be a bit horrified if Mom were to arrange a “playdate”) and so I do choose carefully, and it seems that choosing my children’s siblings to be their friends has been working out for all of us.

(Even poor sick Miss J giggled over this!)

Magic Beans

Our garden is only doing so-so this year. We lack sun. But we've had several harvests of lettuce so far, so that's been delightful! I love going out for my lunch and cutting some leaf lettuce, picking a few ripe cherry tomatoes and just adding my favourite poppy-seed dressing... mmmmm. We also grew two types of beans: regular green beans and magic beans from my Oma. These magic beans grow purple and then, according to Oma, you cook them up and they turn green. So it was science before dinner today and here's what we saw happen:

We added some of our "green" beans to the batch at the end and we couldn't even tell the difference between them. Amazing. Of course there are many different lessons that could be taught through this experiment... and I'll be cooking up a "Bean Analogy" for each night we eat them. Any suggestions?

Organizing?

I got in one of my "moods" today - to put it nicely. And rapidly went through the house discarding as much as possible and re-organizing anything I could put my fingers on. Right before bedtime I walked in to the boys' room to find piles of trains and train table items sorted all over the floor. I couldn't help but laugh and ask, "What are you doing?"

Mr T replied, "We're putting all the same trains together here, all the lights here, and well, we're organizing, aren't we E?" Little E nodded and added, "Yeah Mom, that's what we're doing. We're organizing. Um, what's organizing mean?"

My poor kids. Funny stuff though. And just proves that I don't need stuff to have fun. I've got enough kids to organize as it is. Ughhhh!

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out

This is for you, Desna!

I was talking with my friend on the phone this morning while my children got themselves ready for swimming lessons (right!) Little E came crying up to me announcing that Mr. T had hit him in the eye with a lightsaber. I wanted to talk on the phone, I didn't want crying nor did I want to take the time to comfort my sensitive little boy. (Bad Mommy!) So I used love and logic and asked him what would make it better, a kiss or a bandaid. He opted for the bandaid. Silly boy.

Visions of Sugar Plums

A friend from a past life whose blog I still read announced two days ago that she will be having a baby. Today. There were a few random pictures that aroused suspicion, but never a word of authentication. It made me think about how I spent the better part of a year posting and whining about being pregnant. How pathetic of me.

Last summer I spent hours at the pool, as per doctor recommendation, and as a way to stay cool. I felt very large indeed and my arms ached when I had to do swim lessons, which consisted of me participating in a Mommy and Me class with my not very floaty three year old. Besides the fact that I’m really not a swimmer; I have a hard enough time taking a daily shower – I just don’t like to get wet! Ba humbug, you may be thinking. Yes, indeed, next summer will always be better. Last summer I envisioned this one to be idyllic. I would stroll my little happy-to-always-just-sit-in-a-stroller baby around the pool while we gazed delightfully at the other three children enjoying their swimming lessons, while working on a tan. Oh yes, it would be wonderful.

I didn’t share this wish with a soul, I promise, but somehow it still hasn’t come true.

This summer I don’t have the “pregnant” swim suit or excuse for feeling “large” at the pool. It really would be such a perfect hang-out if I didn’t have to sport a smaller than life piece of clothing, otherwise known as a modest swimsuit. Not only that, I regret that I didn’t sign up for a Mommy and Me class for my I-absolutely-hate-my-stroller baby who would much rather try to walk around the pool either attempting to dive in or actually taking a dive on the hard pool-side cement. Ouch. My visions of swimming lessons have taken a hard crash into reality as I beg my child to please just get his face wet; hypocrite that I am. Surprisingly, Mr. T has done exceptionally well, as a fourth teacher, dedicated entirely to his success has made all the difference. Little E has survived two weeks without getting a single hair wet, however. And I am determined not to let this summer go by wishing it away for false visions of next year. (I’ve seen those two year olds at the pool. It does get worse.)


At the beginning of the summer the kids and I made a list of things we wanted to do this summer. We have a few things yet to be done, but really we have enjoyed checking things off. I’m grateful that their lists are still so simple and their expectations so sweet and sincere. I know it won’t always be so easy to make their lists and dreams come true. For now I revel in the fact that a picnic with popsicles and friends is all that is needed to make a day complete, and that they could care less what their mama looks like in a swimsuit.

So, I was bored...

I did the Princess quiz and am happily my favourite Disney Princess. Just don't tell the Beast!
You Are Belle!

Intelligent and kind. Your beauty goes much further than your apperance. Also, you make judgements of people based on their personality and not their looks. Attaining all the knowledge that you can is one of your major goals in life, but you are also a person who can make things happen.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

My Magnum Opus

It seems every summer, without fail, we read "Charlotte’s Web". This summer we have been listening to E.B. White read it to us (book on CD). Lovely really, to hear this beautiful writer reading his story the way it was meant to be read. We’ve kept the CDs in the van and I think we have listened to the book three times now. We are on the final few chapters again, and the clarity of vision that comes with the finality of Charlotte’s life has sucked me in once again.

In all the service to Wilbur and miraculous achievements that the writing on Charlotte’s web has served, it is priceless to me that this is not what she feels marks her or completes her life. It is neither her intelligence, her wit, nor her special talent of friendship. She speaks of doing something selfish for once in her life, she describes her masterpiece and her magnum opus; creating new life is her true purpose. Becoming a mother her most divine and humble calling. Tears fell as I thought of this truth and relished in it after having spent time at a funeral for a sweet two year old child, and aching for that mother. There is nothing better. If we let it, motherhood can truly be a masterpiece that will live on long after mother and child have passed. It is a work and a glory, and I am grateful to have glimpses into its magnitude while still in the early stages.

Moment

My kids were "bored" today, but I was prepared. I set them up with an activity outside and then proceeded to get some items crossed off my to-do list. I could see them and most definitely hear them right out front. And then it was quiet. Too quiet for too long. I looked out and the three of them were gone, their supplies staring up at me blankly without any clue as to where they were. I ran around back to check and back to the front where I prepared to start shouting when I saw them. My moment of panic quickly dissolved into a tender Mommy-moment as I watched them dragging and hulling our elderly neighbor's trash (which I had seen sitting in front of her home earlier but had done nothing about) down the sidewalk to the trash bins. They saw me watching them and waved and then Little E started YELLING loudly: "We're doing secret service, Mommy! We're doing secret service!!!" No longer a secret, but definitely sweet service.