I was a mother long before I became a mother. It took time. I'm still becoming. It's such a huge magnificent title, I want to deserve and earn it. I want it to reflect who I am.
There are some stages of motherhood that I adore, others I abhor. It's coming to grips with learning how to engage in each stage (not necessarily enjoy) that tells me how well and how much I'm becoming.
Engaging in motherhood is essential. Essential to the children a mother helps bring into the world, and essential to a mother's well-being and sense of self. Recognizing that choices can be made to the extent of engagement is also vital. I've watched many many mothers over the years and learned so much in the process. I have taken away many mothering techniques and tendencies, seen some I never want to apply, or else watched a mother do something I do and realize it's something I no longer want to engage in, or else made a point to continue. It's a balancing act, a learning experience and a never-ending test of endurance and love.
Making a conscious effort of how I want to mother is not enough. I have to actually do it. That's the tricky part. The part that takes a lot of work, a lot of love and patience, time, and endurance. I'm convinced it needs a lot of sleep too. I have so many ideas and plans floating around my head of how I want to mother... how do I get them out of mind and into play in my home and family? Good thing I recognize that becoming a mother is a process. Good thing our family motto is "Every day in every way I'm getting better and better." (Emil Coue)
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3 comments:
I just caught up on your last six posts! My oh, my do I miss you! Your motherhood post was beautiful and your workout post reminded me of a few days we spent working out together in Hawaii. I thnk one day was dedicated to stretching because we were both so sore.
I loved every post and I wanted to comment on every one . . . but then you would have a novel.
Glad we don't have snow like you:) I sure would love to come visit you someday though:)
Sorry- I do know how to spell "think!"
Oh, and my visit will not take place during the winter months.:)
You are a great mother! So glad to read your fun posts.
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