Someone close to me once told me they were impressed with how great a mother I had become, especially, this person said, because it wasn’t something that came naturally to me, but was obviously something I had to work very hard at. My initial reaction was to be slightly smoffed (my term for: sort of maybe offended). I didn’t take it for a compliment, but rather struggled with more closely observing how and who I was as a mother. And then I thought of other talents, skills and roles – of which there are numerous. I thought how even though I don’t feel like a talented cook, though I don’t necessarily enjoy cooking, it is still something that I have to do (multiple times a day)… and so, through the years I’ve come to tolerate and perhaps even find some joy in the kitchen. There are even some dishes I make that taste delicious. Go me, right! But it doesn’t come naturally, and that thought doesn’t smoff me at all.
I think that because Motherhood is such an intensely unique personal and spiritual journey, it is easy to take any remarks about our role and fulfilling of it quite personally.
My life as a mother is full of stories that make me laugh at myself and my own lack of understanding. I find myself guffawing when I think of how I reacted to toddler tantrums with my first, and now how I just simply don’t react with my fourth. The insistence I placed that my daughter NOT wear the same red dress every single day, and the true battle of wills that ensued kills me as I sneak the outfit my four year old wears daily off at night in order to wash it. Taking moments to explore nature instead of pleading to hurry, has come as I have aged, as my responsibilities have changed, and my role magnified.
I was never one of those little girls who wanted nothing more than to be a mother. I never dreamed I would be a stay-at-home mom. Perhaps it was my motherhood misconceptions that led to motherhood coming as a difficult challenge, and anything but naturally. But I’ve gotten better and I’ve worked hard at it – for it does take work, and it is hard. And while motherhood may never come naturally to me, I have naturally come into motherhood; and I love it.
7 comments:
You really are a great mom and an inspiration to others. I love this post as I am as good of a mother as I want to be.
Yes.... great post. Something I definitely needed to read today.
I am not done catching up on yor blog, but I had to comment on the last two posts lest I forget the great amount of emotion that they made me feel.
Your motherhood post warmed my heart and made my eyes swell with tears -though none of them fell. I adored this post and especially your last sentence. I think our kids raise us as much as we raise them.
Secondly, your post about the doctors office was hillarious. Personally I don't monitor my kids too closely at the dr's office. That is not to say that I don't make sure they behave, but I don't make them sit as still as statues. We spend way to much time waiting for the doctor. I figure, if they make us wait so long in the very un-kid-friendly room, then they deserve whatever chaos my child can create. I even blow them balloons out of the plastic gloves.
The quote from princess bride was hands down the funniest thing I have ever heard. Thank you for sharing that!
Oh and just in case you didn't get my emails - don't read the draft I sent you - it is not even part of the story anymore.
You are a fantastic MOM- I dreamed day and night growing up of becoming a MOM and yet there are many days I see your (Un-natural Skills as a mom) and Envy how well you do and the amazing children you have raised and continue to raise- I will aways watch and learn from you. Love Ya, Ya great MOM!!!
Someday when your daughter writes that she too loves being a Mother, you will understand the incredible, overwhelming feelings that swept over me as I read your blog. You are so right that being a Mom is so very hard and the rewards and recognition are so few and far between. Today I was rewarded! In fact as I watch you mother your dear children, and grow and learn so much--I know for a fact that being a Mother is the Greatest career ever!!
Aww! I know what you're saying! I totally believe that the last children have different parents than the first!! For which I feel so bad, but what can I do?? by the time I had my 4th I had 7 years of mothering experience! I might be a lot better at it now after all that practice! I plan on letting a disclaimer be known to my older ones, and making it very clear that the younger one's have better parents than you do! And I'm very sorry for that and that there's nothing I can do about that, but be their present mother. :)
However..... I do strive to be a mother like you! ;) (your mom wrote the sweetest comment!!!)
What a beautiful post. You are an amazing mother. I respect your thoughtfulness and kindness.
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