The Dissert*tion **ptop

Mr. Man is up to his eyeballs in dissertation writing. Were that all he were up to his eyeballs in, that wouldn’t be so bad. But he is still teaching, working on all the applications for a gazillion potential jobs, fulfilling his church calling and responsibilities, as well as being the best Dad, homework helper, dish washer, toy fixer, loving and supportive husband around. (The man even cleaned the bathroom and did the grocery shopping last week in exchange for some editing.) He has conferences to attend, regressions to run, and lunches to be had with special people from special places. And in the midst of it all, as I said, a dissertation to complete on a laptop that thinks it is done. Well, at least the “L”, “A”, “CTRL”, and the period are done working. They stick and refuse to participate in said dissertation, period. It’s like the book “Ella Minnow Pea”. Tonight the screen stopped working, while the computer was still running. But it has to make it. There is no money until there is a job. And there is no job until there is a dissertation. And there will be no dissertation without the laptop. Perhaps it can sense that we have already planned its demise; specifically, it will be dropped several stories from the stairwell in the building Mr. Man studies in – from a location where we can see downward to its final doom and destruction. Silly **ptop. I suppose you have to blame an incomplete dissertation on something.