Monday, June 02, 2008

Time Out for ME

Last week was a whirlwind of family life with few moments for selfishness – of which blogging apparently constitutes. Mr. Man had to work up in Canada and since he would be close to my parents, took Mr. T and Little E on a road trip with him. They had a fantastic time with the grandparents and Uncle playing with legos, going to the beach and having a campfire. Mr. Man’s work was a bit disheartening and the ride home was decidedly horrible for everyone. Miss J and I enjoyed some girl time together and celebrated her last day of school and spent Memorial day at a BBQ with some friends. Wednesday was to be our family day together to relax before I departed on a trip (only with baby J) to attend a Time Out for Women conference with my Mom, sister and sister-in-law in Toronto.

The plans were made in January. But when it came right down to it, it was a bad time.

Wednesday was actually spent unpacking and readjusting some tired little boys, shampooing the rental car from all the spills and “accidents” and running little errands, not to mention a down Mr. Man from a bad work experience. The baby was teething horribly and I was still trying to prepare the home with meals, babysitters, and all that being gone for four days would entail. Then came the packing. Those of you who know me know how much I hate the packing. But I did it. And then I started to ponder and weigh the costs and benefits of said trip (I am married to an economist after all). I wasn’t sure that I was going to enjoy travelling with a crabby 9 month old and not only fly, but do a lot of driving too. Would I get anything out of the conference? Would my family survive without me? Would my husband get the work done that he needed to if I weren’t there? Would the kids survive babysitter after babysitter? Would I enjoy repaying those babysitters in kind once I returned from my “time out”? I had spent the money on my plane ticket and conference ticket, and a part of me felt like a wimp for not feeling like I could go. Mr. Man told me the tickets were a sunk cost, and so I shouldn’t let that affect my decision; and then it was easy. (The only reason I felt I should go then, was so I could get a break from Primary!) I made my decision and unpacked my bags. That’s when the peace and relief hit. Calling family and sitters to explain the new plans I felt relieved, though a bit embarrassed until I was praised for my decision to distinguish a time and a season.

As it is, Mr. Man has been more than swamped and is also on his fourth day of some horrible stomach issue (which I thought was appendicitis for a while since my friend’s husband recently had similar symptoms and ended up with an appendectomy). And really it has been divine to wake every morning for four days with nothing scheduled, no to-do’s on my calendar, no obligations whatsoever! The kids and I have relaxed and enjoyed each other so much. We were able to spend time with our good friends swimming at their hotel before they moved away, Mr. Man and I got a babysitter so we could take a walk together, we went out to eat with some friends (though Mr. Man regretted that decision due to his stomach ailment), and mostly we have just laid low and had ourselves a little time out.

My reasons may not sound solid or sane, but it was truly best for our family for me to stay. There were moments when I wondered about what speaker was presenting and what I was missing, but all in all, I have spent these past few days feeling sure of my commitment to being a wife and mother, and that awareness alone was worth the sacrifice.

I highly recommend taking a time out for you.

The "girls" spending their last time together!

Our "cousins". We lived in Kansas together and now spent two years togethere here. I suppose the odds are pretty good that we live near each other again in the future! (I hope so!)

A bunch of neighbors over for a little slip and sliding.
Best friends!
I love these silly boys!

10 comments:

Kristy said...

Sounds like you made the right choice! Very fun pictures, too.

Shawny said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shawny said...

Good for you! Sometimes you just need to lay low.

Anne Marie said...

Cute, cute pics of your kiddos plus C and T. So glad you just took it easy. Sometimes the stress of traveling and throwing everyone off their routines is just not worth it. Hope Mr. Man gets feeling better, and best wishes for a fun summer vacation.

Anne Marie said...

I meant L and C as in Lydia and Clayton. Sorry.

Hoosier Mama said...

I feel like I am facing this decision now with whether or not to go to Girls Camp. I really want to go to get a break, but am so stressed over babysitters and such while I am gone, and my kids have dental appts, it's giving me a headache!

Lori said...

Good for you to take time and simplify your life. I think sometimes we busy moms think we have to do everything.

Jennifer said...

It took me way to long to understand those feelings and immediately obey them no matter what the cost in guilt. But I love that peaceful, free feeling that comes after I change overwhelming and complicated plans:)

lani said...

Bravo, Renae! I had to make a similar choice last year, and it was tough, but like you I had such peace afterwards. So fun to see the cute pics, too. And i'm so glad Tyler has his cast off--what a trooper!

d d p h o t o g r a p h y said...

i love reading your blog..you are one smart cookie..a time and a season..so true..i think you are adorable and amazing!

Balancing & Blogging

I've come to the conclusion that balance in life is only attained when one limits the extent and experiences of ones life. Maybe not.  P...