Good Books

I have one evening class a week. This is what I came home to last night. Makes my heart happy. Really happy. I watched for a while then grabbed my camera to capture the happy moment.

We have a beginner reader in our home again... one of my most favourite times... and so we're back to checking out Mo Willems' amazing Elephant and Piggie books. I'd forgotten just how funny they are - obviously for the WHOLE family! If I HAD to pick a favourite, it would be We Are in a Book (reminds me of THIS book from my childhood). Mr. Man read that one last night as well as Today I will Fly, Watch Me Throw the Ball, and My Friend is Sad. If you haven't read any of Mo's books, you should!!! I guarantee you'll at least smile... most likely giggle.
I was selling back some books to the university bookstore today, and I had two adorable old ladies helping me. As they looked through my books to analyze the resale value, they found several paint chips, which I use for my bookmarks. Several were bright green, and they questioned me on it. I explained that my four year old's favourite colour is green and that since he's my youngest and I'm starting to figure out how short childhood is, we let him pick the colour to paint a stripe in his room. One of the older ladies was in awe and said she thought that was such a nice idea to let a child choose the colour for their room. She turned to her co-worker to see what she thought, and this sweet old lady sneered and said, "I think it's nice they get to have their own bedroom - spoiled kids!" I had to smile. Because, yes I recognize that my kids are spoiled, but also because of her immediate honesty. I didn't try to defend that fact that there are usually several empty beds in our home each night because most of the kids all sleep together, and I didn't feel the need to defend that fact that we lived in 900 square feet for years before having three bedrooms for four kids... I just pictured last night, and the feeling of knowing my kids are spoiled changed to a feeling of gratitude for recognizing how blessed we are: a bed for everyone, a room with a green stripe, books to read together, and a family to love.

Finite Parenthood

Every morning, as I wake my kiddos up, I ask them if they dreamed. If so, I want to hear all about it. This morning, two of my kids had very detailed dreams to tell, and they required my undivided attention to do so. Of course, another child playing piano needed me, lunches had to be made, and even as I tried to use the bathroom briefly - one child followed me in desperate to show me an idea for a brother's birthday that he just had to show me right now (even though the birthday is MONTHS away!) Any parent knows the constant commotion of need that occurs when you have children. Feigning interest is easily apparent, yet always being "completely there" takes a toll as well. I find myself saying, much too often, "I can only help one person at a time... just a minute and I can help you too." And really, it's good for us all to learn patience, but it's also exhausting; exhausting having to wait, and exhausting having to wait on. I know I am not alone in wishing for multiple me's.

Recently I re-read a book that delves deeply into spiritual theory and our relationships with God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and all those around us. "The Shack" is a fabulous read that opens your eyes and minds to the potential of relationships as well as our understanding and personal acceptance of God in our lives. I've returned the book to the library, so I can't quote it precisely, but there was an instance where the protagonist, who is spending the weekend with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit, asks God how it is that she (God is initially portrayed as a large, booming and hilarious African American woman with attitude) can take this time to be JUST with him. He wonders if there aren't more pressing needs for God to attend to. The answer given to him basically explains the parenting secret I can only hope and dream of. God is an infinite God. God can be with all people all the time... and not only that, but God can give ALL of himself to each person ALL of the time. The thought blows me away. And yet it also makes me re-think my entire relationship with God and how available he is to me, and how I can't possibly bother or burden him because he is ALL there for me ALL the time.

I often wonder what lessons I should be learning from some of the mundane and monotonous tasks and trials in life (like cleaning bathrooms). I find answers or thoughts that make sense to me and help me press forward instead of just enduring.

Discovering this difference, and being able to experience finite parenthood, makes me oh so grateful for an infinite father. While God may make me wait, and definitely helps me to learn patience, knowing that he is always there in his immeasurable greatness with unlimited time and endless love is a gesture nothing short of a miracle.

Tonsils

Little J had a little surgery last week. He had his tonsils and adenoids removed. It's always sobering to have a family member "under the knife" and I have to admit that throughout the holidays, the thought of this possibly being our last Christmas with him did pass my mind. I know, horrible morbid thoughts, but also honest and mothering. At any rate, we woke up early - before the sun was up, to Little J's amusement - to head to the hospital.
He was "not happy Bob" about having to wear a "princess gown" as he called it.

The nurse scrounged up some lego stickers to help cover the peach color of the "princess gown."
We spent a lot of time waiting. And sweet friends had given Little J a small lego set to keep us entertained during the wait. He also enjoyed an airplane book from Grandma, and taking pictures with his camera that Santa had brought.
The remote control was another fun feature.

Little J was very calm and hugged and kissed us goodbye quite easily as they took him off to the operating room. I was less calm while waiting, and after I finished my book I was reading, Mr. Man talked to me constantly about who knows what just to keep my mind busy and full so I couldn't worry.

The surgeon soon came and told us that everything had gone smoothly and as expected, and we waited to be told we could go see Little J in the recovery room as soon as he was starting to wake up.

Well, the boy would NOT wake up.

Remember he was tired from waking up before the sun, plus it was after the holidays and New Years (the little guy ALMOST made it to midnight)... add a little (or a lot) of anesthesia and you've got a a VERY sleepy boy. The nurse called us after about an hour to inform us that he was "still" sleeping ... I listened carefully to hear if there was any crying or whimpering in the background... but still it felt like FOREVER before we could go see our little guy.

And then he was STILL sleepy. They wouldn't let us leave until he could both eat and drink... and the poor guy was so upset over his IV that I used that incentive to encourage him to take small sips and spoonfuls. We FINALLY got to the point where we could leave; his vitals were good, and we had a chatty nurse who FINALLY focused on our wants... and OFF we went... 7 hours after checking in!

Here he is post-surgery:

He's pretty dramatic and has a very low tolerance for pain, so it' s been a rough week for him. Yesterday morning he woke up without screaming, and merely asked for "the disgusting medicine that takes my pain away." Of course, he's also used his tears to enjoy getting whatever he wants. The other kids are getting sick and tired of me serving soups for dinner each night, and tomorrow he's back to preschool so we're hopeful that our "recovery" is over and that this solves a lot of his silly little medical issues.

Slowing Down For Christmas

Christmas was quiet and peaceful at our house - well, as quiet and peaceful as it can be with four kiddos! We emailed Santa and he accepted our invitation to show up a night early... moving our Christmas Adam celebration back one night so that Christmas Eve became the day of stockings and presents, and Christmas day could be more about Christ, since Christmas perfectly fell on a Sunday. I love how the days seemed to really slow down because of this... and how it felt more like a Christmas "season" than just a celebratory "day". Because we focused on slowing down, I didn't take many pictures... and really, it seems silly to try to capture Christmas in a picture - it's more like a feeling, or an immense sense of gratitude, love, joy and peace...

However, I am glad that amidst staying in pjs for days, I still made everybody get dressed up for our traditional "fancy" Christmas dinner, where we celebrate the birth of a King.

Here are the few pictures I did take and they demonstrate that, like most Americans, we (and other family members) spoiled our children rotten! Each child received their three gifts: gold (what they want the most), frankincense (something for their body and mind) and myrrh (something religious). Frankincense this year was a great encyclopedia that our children take turns checking out of the library so that it can be a constant in our home... and now, we OWN it! They also each got their own hockey sticks and so we have spent hours in our driveway playing street hockey and can't wait for it to be cold enough for the outdoor ice rinks to open (yes, you read that right). I think we may have found our family sport... we are all VERY competitive and the adults actually have to TRY in order to keep up with the kiddos - I was even sore the day after we first played! Fun times, that frankincense.

Of course, Mr. Man wouldn't know what to do if there weren't a bazillion legos to put together... good thing both Little E and Mr. T "wanted" lego for their gold gifts!

And Little J couldn't be happier with his Batman cave full of trap doors and switches of all sorts - especially since his brothers are pretty amused by it too - he now has his own toy to bribe them to play with him!

Miss J has spent a lot of time facetiming and emailing with cousins and grandparents, as well as setting up all her music, alarms for her different activities...

Mr. Man has enjoyed his gold gift as well... a long sought-after pasta maker! Little J was a great helper, as he has logged hours and hours of playdoh experience, preparing him for the task.

Yum! Of course we missed extended family, and enjoyed calling and skyping with several of them. Slowly the music, books and decor have been packed away... and I'm grateful to have shared another Christmas with my sweet little family.

My Baby Girl - Originally Drafted 12/22/11

This is what happens to chubby screaming babies after 11 years:

I know you want one.

This girl is AMAZING!

Love the gracious receiver that she is, and the excitement that emanates from her as she presumes to have "all her dreams come true!"

We treated her out to a surprise dinner at a restaurant (a rarity for us), and everyone was still dressed up from school Christmas concerts, so it seemed extra special. Putting up with these three brothers has, I'm sure, added to my little girl's character, personality, and spunk too!
Happy Birthday baby girl!

Gift-mas - Originally Drafted 12/15/11

Finals are done (hurray) and now I'm back in the real world and focusing on different lists. The other day I spent over an hour on the phone trying to sort out a gift that never came - oh the joys of living in a small town and having to order most things online. This has been going on for a while, but my sweet Mr. Man has been the one making the dreaded phone calls. With finals out of the way, and me still in my bathrobe after just showering at 1pm, I figured I should make the call. They are issuing us a refund, HOWEVER, what I really want is the item to arrive because it's my daughter's main Christmas present (her GOLD gift, people)! I was getting rather riled up and frustrated and basically yelled at this man that he was ruining Christmas for my daughter.

Right.

This is my daughter's talk she prepared and presented in her primary at church last Sunday:

Mary and Joseph were on their way to Bethlehem to pay their taxes. Mary, who would soon give birth to Jesus, was weak and tired after a long journey. Joseph was tired too and he knew his wife needed to rest. Joseph searched for a place to rest in an inn, but because everyone came to pay taxes there was no room. He tried many inns till a kind man who owned the inn said, "I do not have any room, but my stable is clean and you may stay there." Joseph and Mary took the shot.

That night Jesus was born. Lying in a manger full of hay, wrapped in swaddling clothes, he laid there quietly and peacefully. When Jesus was born, Heavenly Father wanted everyone to know so in that case he put a star way up in the sky above the stable to mark where he is. Then an angel was sent to deliver a message to some shepherds. St. Luke 2:10-16

Far off, three wise men were camping. Seeing the star, they put their best robes on and raced to Bethlehem to see him, bring three gifts to worship him.

I know that during the Christmas season we get busy and look forward to the gifts on Christmas day, but we need to remember the true meaning of Christmas. One way I remember the meaning is when I'm busy is I write Christmas in two words "Christ" and "mas". It's not called "giftmas" but it shows what Christmas is truly about.

Finally - Originally Drafted 12/11/11

It's finals week.

I've been so happy lately, and I can't wait to share more. I also can't wait for finals to be over!

But for now, I will share a piano performance by Miss J as she played at a retirement home last week:

Lifelong Lessons Part II

Mr. Man is the cub master for our community cub scouts. He does a superb job, and has kids from other packs switching to ours because of all the hard work he puts in to making it amazing. Occasionally I help him, and we recently put together a whole night of "gingerbread service" stations where the cubs learned about, and actually served their families, community, and country. The community station consisted of decorating gingerbread boys with all sorts of icing and candies... then putting them on plates to deliver to the local retirement home. You can just imagine the creativity those boys (ages 6-10) let loose on the cute little gingerbread boys! I wish I'd taken pictures!

The next day we were scheduled to deliver the plates of cookies. In the end it was just my two little cub scouts and myself. But it couldn't have been better. The boys weren't thrilled that they had to stop playing legos to go do this, and as I explained to them to speak loudly since these older people can't hear as well, they looked at me and rolled their eyes, and I figured it was just going to be another chore for them to complete.

I was loving it, and kept thinking about how I hoped somebody was bringing cookies decorated by little boys to my Oma in her retirement home. We met some amazing people: from an old NBA player, to people who couldn't believe they could have a whole plate of cookies to themselves! Some of the elderly were completely lucid, and enjoyed the boys thoroughly, others claimed to not have any money and were thrilled at the gift that was given, others turned us away sadly while we lingered longer, trying to at least get a glimpse of a smile. When we were down to only three plates of cookies, we found two sweet ladies in the foyer, then one plate of cookies left for a woman named "Joy" who was overly grateful and told the boys, "I would hug you, but you're boys!" Little E approached her anyways, and then Mr. T and she hugged both of them. A perfect ending to a perfect experience.

No sooner had we left the retirement home and gotten into the car, than the boys started talking non-stop about the whole event! (They had been pretty quiet inside!)
Mr. T couldn't believe how good he felt inside. He was amazed at how cookies could really cheer somebody up and make their day... and couldn't believe that he had been able to be a part of that! He wanted us to go home and make a LOT more cookies right away to give away. He admitted that he had to wipe tears from his eyes a couple of times, and knew that he was feeling the way he was because he was serving. Little E coined it perfectly when he said, "We went to bring them joy, and in the end Joy came to us!" (That boy LOVES to play with words!) While a few people had offered to pay for the cookies, the boys said that they knew they wouldn't have felt as good as they did if they'd been paid. They said they finally understood why Jesus must have been so happy, since he constantly went around serving others, and never asking for anything in return. It was a special moment, hearing my boys openly express their feelings and knowing that they felt inspired to continue to do good.

THAT is what I hope my children will remember about Christmas.

Lifelong Lessons Part I

The manner of giving is worth more than the gift. ~Pierre Corneille, Le Menteur

This Christmas season has been full of the learning many lifelong lessons for our family. St. Nicholas visited our home as per tradition. And he brought with him a lesson to learn. Incidentally I had heard that St. Nick was considering bringing coal to a couple of trouble makers, but instead he brought small gifts including a chocolate letter (of each child's initial), a new bath towel, and a small toy (a transformer for each of the boys, something more grown up for Miss J).

First, a little background.

Little E has only been asking for one specific thing for Christmas... which is good because our kids only get three gifts: gold (what they want most), frankincense (something for their body or mind) and myrrh (something religious). The ONE THING he wants is Optimus Prime. So when he came downstairs on the morning of December 6th and discovered a transformer, but NOT Optimus Prime he was beyond devastated. Completely ungrateful and entirely upset over what he did NOT get. When I told my Mom this story, she ached for her grandson and felt bad that he didn't get what he wanted. Well, as his mother, I felt differently. How dare he be so ungrateful! I sent him back to bed until he could change his attitude, and since he was already bawling his eyes out, bed seemed like a good place to be. Eventually he came back out of his room and grumpily said that he was ready to have his presents now. Thus ensued a wonderful lesson/lecture by Mr. Man about what it means to receive a gift... and in the end, our little boy was told he couldn't open any of his gifts (chocolate letter included) until after school.

The crying started over again and he ran back to his room vowing never to come out, and screaming that he hated St. Nicholas.

Little E has never been a very good gift receiver. We've struggled with finding the perfect gifts for him, well-knowing that he expresses his joy and disappointment equally. We've seen him cry over a new bike, because he really wanted a scooter - and we've been embarrassed when this has happened in front of family and friends who are giving him wonderful gifts. Mr. Man tried to explain about WHY we give gifts, and what it means to receive a gift, and how the gift itself isn't what really matters, but the love and the gratitude of giving and receiving - the relationships that are built when we demonstrate that love.

Sometimes, it is not our ability to give something in return, but our ability to receive the gifts given us that counts. Our relationships are greatly enhanced when we become not only generous givers, but generous receivers as well, people who accept gifts gladly, thankfully, wholeheartedly, with the kind of smile you'll never forget.
Gifts are freely given, whose only reason and purpose is love. It has served its end when it is also received in love. For some, receiving comes naturally, for others it takes effort to be a generous receiver... Mr. Man did a great job explaining all of this to Little E.

Of course, then Mr. Man went to work.

It broke my heart to send my little boy off to school with tears still in his eyes. The only one to have not opened a gift that morning.

And yet, I knew and hoped that he would spend the day remembering, thinking and hopefully learning an important lesson.

Instead of coal, hopefully he'll remember the year his shoe was full, but his hands were empty. (Easy for me to say - since I KNOW what his GOLD gift will be.)


"Gracious acceptance is an art - an art which
most never bother to cultivate. We think that we have
to learn how to give, but we forget about accepting
things, which can be much harder than giving...
Accepting another person's gift is allowing
to express his feelings for you."
- Alexander McCall Smith

Quick Updates - mostly for my Mom!

Still can't get my movies to upload (from science fair, piano recital and taekwondo) but here are some "still" blasts from the recent past:

Rain Gutter Regalia






Science Fair




TaeKwonDo belt testing





Volleyball





Tree Trimming



Playing

Cozy

Winter here has come slowly this year. And I find myself anxious to be snowed in. I love having the fire going, candles burning, soft music playing, and all the kiddos home gathering around. I've tried hard to make our home "cozy" for when everyone gets home at the end of the day. Leaving items out so that the kids feel like they have come up with their own idea or project to do together has worked really well, and I find myself in love with the relationships that are developing and growing as we are stuck inside together. The end of the year and end of semester are drawing to a close, and busyness is upon us... and so I treasure these cozy moments when I try to focus on nothing but family (and making dinner!)

Often I forget, but here are a few shots I've taken of after-school coziness in our home.

Little J's Christmas Wish List

• big gun
• machine gun
• Bumblebee
• mini bazooka
• something for the cat
• mini big rifle

Notice a theme?

Since I Last Blogged...

~we drove up to Canada to visit some family

~we came home to a huge snowstorm and the GT snow racers we had ordered had arrived

~lots of sledding, or "tobogganing" as we Canadians call it

~one kid throwing up all night long

~projects and assignments due

~Cub Scout rain-gutter regala

~parent teacher conferences

~family's new favourite game is Disney's Apples to Apples - and it is played CONSTANTLY

~more snow storms

~Little E got a haircut (just a trim mind you)

~Christmas shopping

~girls night out to see the new Breaking Dawn movie

~bought a HUGE turkey for Thanksgiving

~gave myself a list of what I need to do before I'm allowed to get on the internet... um, yeah... so I didn't much

Mealtime Madness

As a few of us were sitting down to eat breakfast, I was correcting Little E on some of his piano notes he was practicing.

Me: "It's G and F together!"

Little J (always into imitating): "That's right! Make sure you play G and H!"

I couldn't help but laugh.

Little J: "What, Mom? What's so funny?"

Me: "Well, in the musical alphabet, there is no H, it just goes up to G."

Little J: "There's an H in my world... my alphabet goes all the way to J!"

***************************

Then at dinner, the kids asked Mr. Man about what's happening in the news. Boxing champion, Joe Frazier's death brought on a whole discussion about boxing. From how much Mr. Man paid in high school to watch a game, to Muhammad Ali and the fight of the century, to what boxers (and sumo wrestlers) wear, and all the way to Mike Tyson biting Evander Holyfield's ear. As if this whole conversation wasn't interesting enough... we then had a little sex chat, brought on by me asking Mr. Man if Tyson went to jail for the ear biting. "Nope, it was because he raped someone" Mr. Man replied, without thinking through his answer. So then the question, "what's rape?" Mr. Man did an excellent job of answering what it was. Our two older kids, who have had "the talk" and much more, were satisfied. But little E, was confused: "What's sex?" he wondered. The moaning from the older two was hilarious as they told him to enjoy being seven and not even think about it, and then we explained that it was something very special that we would tell him about when he turns eight. Mr. T then turned to Little J and said, very seriously: "You are SO lucky! You still have four more years before you have to learn about sex!"

Spirituality and Religion - more random and jumbled thoughts

The older I get the less judgmental I am, the more open to others I become, and the word "tolerance" takes on a whole new meaning. It bothers me that, in this world, tolerance is an achievement and something we teach and seek for. To me, tolerance, is a pitiful excuse. Acceptance, understanding, empathy, and love would be much better traits to build, reinforce and achieve. I believe in God. And I have felt His love. I have felt His love for me, and I believe that I have felt His love for others as well. Sharing that love, whether or not its Source is known, is monumental for me in my beliefs.

I have read books by authors that resonate with me deeply and spiritually. Eckhart Tolle and Max Lucado are two that have, through their words and insights, brought me closer to God and helped me to feel that love. But right now, I do not believe in a God that only provides a path for some of his children. I believe there are many ways to feel God's love, many ways to worship, love and demonstrate devotion. I believe there are many ways back to God, if you will. And because I am the sort of person who does things all the way, or not at all (100% or nothing), I am having a very hard time accepting a religion that defines itself as the only, one true way and demands its followers to undeniably believe in that one, and only way.

I have found so much peace in my current spiritual journey. And it encompasses so much more than I would ever know how to put into words on the internet. I appreciate all the love and concern that so many of you feel, but I don't feel like I need to be added to your prayers and best wishes. I am happy. Happier than I have been in a very long time. I have peace, light, and the spirituality I need and desire.

My biggest concern, and purpose for bringing this up, is to find a way and a spiritual path for my family that will combine my beliefs with my husband's and a way to teach our children not only what we both believe, but allow them the openness to question and discover for themselves.

I have recently listened to an interesting podcast series: "Raising Children in a Non-Traditional LDS Home" and was inspired by some of the ideas, and extremely put off by others. I am looking for a way, either religious or spiritual, to bring our family together on this journey. Well wishes and advice in that endeavor would be greatly appreciated. And I am happy to have any of you, my dear friends, call or email so we can share ideas and inspiration. Thanks to those who have already done so.

Spirituality and Religion

It's Sunday.

My family is at church.

I'm at home, filling myself spiritually in ways that work for me, and preparing for the week ahead. A week of purposeful parenting above all else, and a desire to feel God's love in my life, and in our home.

I haven't broached the subject of my spiritual journey on this blog, because I truly believe that spirituality is a very personal subject for many. And yet, I love to hear others' stories of how they find peace, happiness, and unity in their family's search for spirituality, whether combined or separated from religion.

Right now, for me personally, my lifelong religion does not bring me the peace and spirituality I desire. Changing my expectations, changing my outlook and beliefs has led me to numerous thoughts and options for myself and my family. And so far, I am still looking, wondering, praying and pondering.

How do you find peace within either spirituality or religion?

odds & ends

Miss J keeps bringing home all sorts of writing on her hands to tell little funny kid stories. After demonstrating her latest, she asked me, "Mom, when you were a little kid, did you used to put markers all over your hands too?"

I replied that I don't think I did. (My mother may correct me!)

And she nodded, prepared for my answer and replied, "I guess that's because markers weren't around when you were a little girl."

I was flabbergasted... how old does she think I am?! She covered up pretty well by saying that she really thought markers were a new invention. Still...

Little J is still extremely sick. He is on a strong antibiotic to try to shrink an abscess on his tonsil... but we may be looking at a little surgery. Time will tell. For now he looks half dead, and sleeps and watches movies a lot and rings a bell whenever he needs me (since he can hardly walk). He's been sick since last Friday. It's been a long week. However, I wanted to share my favourite picture he drew of a jack-o-lantern. It makes me smile so much, I am sending it to Oma in a package, but had to scan it in first, so that I can keep a copy!

Have a happy weekend!

Shopping for Cheapskates

Who doesn't love a good deal, right?! Mr. Man, though, hates it when I announce that I saved $50 but still spent $50. He'd much rather I show him everything I bought and then announce that I spent $3. So it takes shopping to a whole other level.

And we've been getting good at it.

JC Penney coupons for $10 off a $10 purchase - we've gotten it down to spending less than $2 of our money when using those for things already on our "to buy" list.

My latest shopping for free was buying the kids' school pictures. Yes, I know that may sound foreign, because usually I DON'T ever buy the kids school pictures, and even they have gotten used to that. But this year, there was a deal that if you bought any package of school pictures, you would get a $20 coupon to spend at Shutterfly. Grandparents adore books and photo items made from Shutterfly, and so I already knew I would use these coupons for Christmas gifts. So I bought the cheapest package I could ($12) and got my $20 coupons! I feel like someone just gave me $8 to spend (times three). It's a good feeling. And really, these kids do look pretty cute (though stuffy) in their school photos n'est ce pas?