"I'm not your friend; I'm your mother"

I love my kids to pieces. Even when there are moments where I don't necessarily "like" them, moments where I wish they would just disappear (with their whining) for a few minutes, and moments when I don't want to claim them (and their rotten behavior) as belonging to me, I still love them. Lots.

And I assume, for the most part, that other parents feel the same way I do.

We would do anything for our kids. And yet there are some things we know they must do for themselves.

It's hard for me, then, to watch some children and parents around me and realize that the relationships seem so different from what I experience with my own children. I see parents who are buying everything and anything their kids want, including the latest technology and hideously grown-up scandalous clothing. I watch parents turning a blind eye to how their children are treating others, and then encouraging behavior that definitely makes their child (and them) seem more popular... but at what cost? These parents often blame the industries. The people who make the clothing their children want to wear are the ones crossing the line, and the music industry that allows such language and sexual connotations in music for pre-teens should be held responsible. That's just the way the world is now, they insist. And their children love them. How could they not? They are their best friends and enablers.

I hope I don't seem too judgmental. Really I feel like I'm observing and trying to make sense of this new stage of parenting a pre-teen that I'm entering into. But, yes, it bothers me.

I'm looking for my children to have friends whose parents will put their foot down and insist on being treated with respect. I want my children to have playdates in homes where a parent will not only "be there" but be aware. I hope the friends that my children have will be tech savvy and shop with them and listen to music, but in a responsible way because that's what they know is expected of them. And I hope that as I share my beliefs and enforce our family's standards, my kids will occasionally slam the door, angrily pout about what they don't have, and even scream at me that "it's not fair, everybody else is doing it!" I hope that my actions, expectations and affection will speak louder than my words... though I am sure I will be heard to say "I'm not your friend; I'm your mother."