My easiest baby has turned into my hardest child (for now).I am trying to remind myself about all the good things about this boy.
He is pushing me to my limits right now.
His third grade teacher is strict and, according to him, mean. He explains her classroom as a place where he can't even smile, lest he appear to be having fun - which would mean he's not working or learning.
And so a part of me wants to give him more leniency at home because I know he's struggled to meet expectations all day long. But leniency is equating an increase in laziness.
How do I encourage him to do the little things without constantly nagging? How can I get him to accept responsibility instead of continuously tattling on his siblings or passing along the blame to somebody else? Nothing seems to phase this boy in terms of consequences. When I finally find the right "threat" he breaks down, cries his eyes out in his room and basically goes on strike from doing anything. He can be so mean to his siblings... often pushing them to tears, and the lack of respect I'm feeling is beginning to mount. Should I let him quit piano lessons? Should I let his room stay a disaster zone until he can't find anything and chooses to clean it?
I am struggling at parenting this boy.
I love him. And after a hard day, as I cuddle him in his bed and he smiles, I know he loves me too... even though I don't remember the last time I heard him say it.
5 comments:
you are a most incredibly awesome mom....hang in there my friend :) wish I had some amazing advice for you.....seems like a mom of seven should have that huh? :)
I think you need to cuddle him right when he comes home:)Maybe he'll smile sooner that way:)
Parenting is not easy! Each child is so unique. Since his classroom at school is not a positive place for him to spend most of his day, you are right in making home a more enjoyable place for him. And yet you still need to have rules--such a difficult combination. You will need to prayerfully pick your battles with him. Continue to love your special boy and know that deep down he loves you too :)
Advice from Mumbai:
Brings back memories of how I felt challenged along the way with parenting.
Kids never seem to read the parenting books while being read by the parents!! :)
I didn't do things right the first time. Eventually learned that you just have to love these children during these difficult life phases, and yes - give structure and rules - yet reinforce through natural consequences.
Always easier said than done, I might say.
Thinking of you.
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