Pee On; Pee Off

Mr. Man and I have explored several different titles for this post. From “This little piggy goes wee wee wee” to my inappropriate “Pissed Off”… I finally settled on the above. This is a true account and makes me just a “wee” bit nervous about adding a third boy to my two.

Last night after putting the boys to bed (after giving Little E another bath and changing his PJs since he had run off to hide and do his poop in his underwear after convincing me he absolutely did NOT need to wear a pull-up to bed anymore) I was sitting downstairs and could hear the pitter patter of little feet. Annoying little feet which should be fast asleep. I hollered up for those little feet to run in the other direction directly to their beds. Mr. T yelled back (yes, I’m creating wonderful habits) that he had to go pee. After which I heard him telling his little brother to get out of the bathroom because he needed his “privacy”. Then came a hushed, yet insistent, whisper: “Get out of here NOW! I have to pee and I need my PRIVACY!” Next I heard the steady ream of a full bladder being emptied, and I too felt relieved to know he was doing this now rather than in the middle of the night. The noise stopped for an instant and then resumed. Strange. Then the shouting. Little E was furious and yelling over and over, “HE PEED ON ME!” Could it be? Would my sweet little boy actually do such an utterly disgusting thing?

I ran up there, dragging my bad leg behind me, and asked Mr. T if he had done such a thing. However, he had wisely disappeared. I looked at Little E and the answer was obvious. I threatened Mr. T out of his hiding spot where he quickly claimed innocence. One step into the bathroom and I had even more evidence to the contrary. Urine was EVERYWHERE! Apparently the pause was simply a shift in direction. “YES YOU DID PEE ON HIM!” I yelled. But even more importantly, “WHY?!!!” The answer seemed obvious to my four year old, and I truly think he thought it validated the act, “He didn’t give me any privacy, so I peed on him.”

Little E was changed into his third pair of pjs. Mr. T had to help clean up the mess. And life went on. They went to bed, with my preaching of, “We don’t pee on people!”

Mr. Man (who is once again a million miles away) laughed hysterically, and wants to know if Little E will give him privacy now. My sister-in-law says this reminds her of her brothers. And my mother-in-law says that this is a normal four year old reaction and not to worry, but to try to curb the habit before they hit their twenties and it’s no longer excusable.

Tonight the pitter patter was again heard, and my first holler consisted of – “Don’t pee on anyone!” I think it may be time for a new family rule. At any rate, I’m a little more excited that for at least the first two years, my new little guy will be confined to a diaper!