What I've Learned...

After attending University for a whole week, I think I'm basically an expert on what is and is not cool on campus. So for those of you who are wondering (because like me, it's been a few years since you walked the walk on campus), or are preparing to return yourselves, let me enlighten you.

I've pretty much figured out what I need to do if I want to fit in. (But don't worry, I already know that I don't!) Here's what I've learned so far:

1. No matter what the temperature (even 40 degrees Fahrenheit), wear as little clothing as possible.
2. In terms of fashion, be sure to wear lots of spandex and university trademark clothing.
3. Don't, under any circumstances, smile at anyone you don't know as you walk to class.
4. While you're waiting for the class before you to get done, the smartest coolest look is to just stand there bored out of your mind. You could also try texting, or doing something ingenious with your cell phone. Do not look over your notes or review the chapter in your textbook. (That is, if you even bothered to bring it to class).
5. In class, don't ask any questions, and try to take as few notes as possible. Basically just sit there, half asleep. (Surely that old Mom next to you will lend you her notes when you need to catch up.)
6. Don't volunteer for any physics demos, or attempt to give an answer or ask a question.
7. Don't worry too much about the homework assigned. It's probably optional. If you do try, don't try too hard, because you can just ask your teacher (or the Mom sitting next to you) to explain it the next day.
8. Drink lots of coffee during class. That just oozes intelligence (not fatigue or hangover).
9. The trees on campus are there to counter-balance the 1-2 packs of second-hand smoke you will be inhaling the moment you exit a building. (Seriously, do people still smoke this much?)
10. There are actually "other Moms" in school (and in classes) with me. I'm not the only one juggling motherhood and schooling. We smile at each other, knowing that because we're "old" we have a bond, and also we're in this for reals.

I have also learned about the Fibonacci sequence, Newton's Laws and how to solve numerous mathematical equations and problems.
Try this:
Find digits A, B, C, and D that solve the following cryptarithm:
ABCD
x 4
_____
DCBA


or this:
What is the maximum number of pieces of pizza that can result from 4 straight cuts?


Yup, I'm getting smarter by hanging out on campus!

My apologies to anyone who is young and in school and feels these stereotypes don't apply. You are a rare gem.