Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Just Keep Swimming
Oh boy is this hard. That's the truth. My days seem to drag on and yet swallow each other up at the same time. I wish I could balance everything better. Today is my day "off" from school, which pretty much means it's on for everything else... cleaning, errands, spending all day with my toddler, phone calls, primary, oh and it's not really "off" for school since I need to study for my mid-terms (one that is approaching quickly on Friday). All I want to do is curl up in my bed, sleep the whole morning away, eat chocolate for brunch and then read a good book all afternoon. (I know, I'm hard core.) No can do. Must be productive. How do people do this, all day, every day? My brain hurts and I think it may be swelling from all the new information I am trying to jam into it. I am finding myself quite irritable today and barely able to keep my head above water. It's a familiar feeling of stress. And I know all I need to do to deal with stress, but when do you find the time to exercise, drink all that water, write in your journal, go for a walk, eat balanced meals, have a heart to heart talk with someone, get enough sleep, etc. when you already have more to do than you can? For now, I'll just keep swimming and hope I find land soon enough.
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5 comments:
I feel you, woman. I call my friends while I clean my house. It helps the laundry go faster. Also, I've subscribed to a menu planner and my husband is now the cook on days I have night classes. His version of preparing dinner was the ask me to pick up a pizza at costco while I was out getting my son's glasses though. Still not sure how to feel about that.
You can't! You have to pick and choose. Do a little here and there. Anyone that says they can do it all is lying! ;)
My new mantra for life: "When in doubt, lower your expectations." Seriously. When I had twins years ago, that was like a crash course in prioritizing. And, I quickly threw out the window any expectations of doing anything but nursing and changing my babies and keeping my other two children alive. It was a season of hot dogs for dinner (when I would have loved to be making homemade bread and soup), floors that were rarely vacuumed, mountains of clean laundry waiting on the couch, and extra TV for the kiddos (and, yes, I am normally a nazi about that). This was the only way I could stay sane and relatively happy. Being a student and a mama at the same time sounds incredibly demanding so go easy on yourself. You only have energy to put out so many fires.
After hitting rock bottom emotionally this past spring, I've been learning the past several months how important my well-being is to my kiddos and myself. I am intending to write a whole post about it. But, so much of it is about going easy on myself...spending less time preparing a sharing time for Primary and just trusting that it will somehow be good enough, giving up dreams of reading chapter books to my older boys every night, and not guilting myself for serving frozen pizza sometimes.
You are amazing. I am so proud of you for going back to school. You can do it. You are a very bright, capable woman. You will find a balance and groove that work for you in this new stage.
Sorry for this novel!
i was wondering how you were keeping it together! Chad was an overachiever too. but when we married and had chloe, he realized he had to choose b/t top grades and "the better part." he figured out how to manage time, study as much as possible, and then leave it in the Lord's hands.
In the midst of stress don't forget you're AMAZING!
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