"Elementary, my dear Watson"

I just experienced the most embarrassing review session of my life. I came prepared, even amidst having a sick husband and sick (including puking, fever, snot rockets) kid this week and juggling all of my roles. (You really should see my house this week - I guarantee you will all feel magnificent about the state of your own homes!) I had a page of specific questions including problems for our professor to review. And this was after I had emailed him numerous times with other specific questions. To me, a review session means that we come ready to learn whatever it is we didn't figure out throughout the semester, in time to hopefully learn and regurgitate on the exam. My instructors have been very clear that they aren't going to be coming prepared with anything to go over, but that the time is ours and we are to lead where the discussion goes. So this I did. And for a little over an hour and fifteen minutes and all but two questions, I asked and my professor answered. Yup. Slightly embarrassing. And yet, part of me feels like my classmates owe me. And I'm a little embarrassed for them as well.

In another one of my classes today we were filling out our teacher evaluations. My classmates huddled together deciding if they would be mean or nice. How about honest? I was, I'm afraid, brutally honest. As we were filling out the evaluations, I felt like it was homework time at my house with my little grade schoolers constantly asking me how to spell this and that. I must have rambled off at least a dozen correct spellings of words amidst completing my own evaluation. My favourite was when we had to fill in the spot for our major and a classmate beside me couldn't spell "elementary" correctly. As I helped her, two others realized they had misspelled it as well. Just one of many situations this semester that has led me to wonder at these students who could someday be my children's future teachers. Then again, they may wonder at me. And for all I know, you've spotted a good bunch of spelling errors in this small entry (though favourite was spelled Canadian correctly!)

I'm down to one last class tomorrow and then my finals will be Monday and Tuesday. I can almost breathe a sigh of relief. The break will be much too short, I am sure, but I am thrilled to be done with these classes and even excited for what next semester brings. Still, I don't know how people manage to juggle it all. My problem is that as much as I tell myself that it doesn't matter if I don't get A's... it does. As much as I want to be able to just do okay at everything I am doing, I don't. I don't want to be THE best, but I do want to do MY best, and perhaps I expect too much out of myself. I know I do. Just don't know how to change that, or at least get rid of the guilt that I feel when I can't do it all and do it all well. Ironically, the last time I dealt with depression I was in school too. Causation or correlation?

Something merry and bright -
a friend from my childhood makes me smile in this music video(pause the music playlist at the bottom first!):