Much Ado About Nothing

One completed chart and one paycheck later, our family went to the movies for our first time. Julia had been before, but for the boys this was a completely new experience. We explained to Tyler that it was going to be really loud and the screen would be really big - his response: "bigger than a snowman?"

We went to see the much anticipated kids' movie of the summer: CARS. In two words that I would not say in front of my kids: it sucked. I would not say those words in front of them because I think they are too coarse for their ages, but if you were to explain their meaning, my kids would agree with me.

It was long. It was boring. It was awful.

According to Julia, who asked mid-movie if we could please go home, she liked the part at the beginning and the part at the end where the cars raced.

Tyler pretended he had pooped and asked Greg to go change him, only to find that he was faking it to try to get out of the movie. When that didn't work he tried the same tactic again.

Ethan, the TV king, who can sit in front of anything in moving colour was lost half-way into it. For the movie's credit, I do suggest showing up 20 minutes late after the very long and non-toddler appropriate previews finish - that may help with your endurance.

As a mother I was a little upset at the word "HELL" that got thrown around a little too casually. I could handle the one "stupid" and "idiot" okay, but "hell"?! Also a short but rude male body part innuendo and female "headlight" flashing weren't appreciated either. I'm harsh, I know.

There were some funny parts, sure... but there just weren't enough of them to keep the plot going. Nor was there enough child-understandable plot to keep the movie going. Mater, the beat up tow truck, was hilarious -truly he was... but, well, that's about it for hilarious.

As we left the theatre after running it up and down for kicks, we asked the kids what they liked better, "Finding Nemo" or "CARS"?... "Monsters" or "CARS"?... each movie we drilled them with, the answer was never CARS. Even when we got down to "Cycling" (Greg LOVES to watch cycling and they know the Tour de France is coming up)... Tyler chose cycling. Only when presented with the bottom of the barrel option of cycling did Julia choose CARS.

So our first theatre experience as a family was a flop. We've decided we like watching movies at home at our leisure with our own popcorn too. We felt bad when we left and wished there was something better we could leave our kids with for the day. Tyler wanted to go back to the petting zoo we'd been to earlier today:

T: (yelling at top of lungs) Mommy, stop the car!
Me: I'm not driving, Tyler - Daddy is.
T: (yelling again) Daddy stop the car!
Daddy: Why Tyler?
T: Because I need to get out and go back to the barn.
D: Do you even know where it is? (since we're no where near it)
T: Yes. You go left and then right.
Julia: (sighing, and in all seriousness) Oh, Tyler, that's going to take you a really long time.

Life is a journey, enjoy the trip... but not necessarily the movie!