The Test

(Julia and I, undeniably pregnant with Tyler)

"But it all turns out all right, you see. And I go back to being... me."

So I took my first home pregnancy test. No we’re not expecting, not even close to trying... but my period is Late with a capital “L” and I wanted to make sure it was okay to go get my hair coloured! Why is this event worth mentioning? Because I am engrossed in the fact that I have three children and still have yet to see double lines on a stick that has been treated to a ten second explosion of my urine.

Regardless of my first time’s results, or perhaps because of them, it was still a fun little experiment – kind of like when I was a little girl realizing just how much water my Mom’s tampons could hold! But I do want to give you a little synopsis of why I am only just getting the chance to take this test!

When I went to the Drs to find out I was pregnant with Julia it was actually to get some medicinal relief from a very bad urinary tract infection. No that’s not a nickname for her. I was young... 19, but also apparently already had a bad case of the “Mommy hormones”- I still cannot believe how dumb blonde I was during this time of wonderment and finding out. When the nurse came she asked me if I wanted to be pregnant. I thought that was a weird question, and a little personal, but I answered “sure” and didn’t catch her exiting reply, “well, you are”. Greg did though... and was shocked to see me not responding in any shape or form. After a brief discussion he called the nurse back in to verify the news... she did, and I missed taking the test for my first time.

The second time there was no way I needed a test. We were trying. We were calculating. And when I missed my period and began puking in the same day, we knew. (Note, said puking did not end till day of delivery, a few hours after Tyler was born).

With Ethan I knew again. I actually never took a pregnancy test. (With Tyler they did an office one at my first visit). But with Ethan I remember laying there for my first sonogram and having the small, invasive thought “what if I’ve just been making all this up and I’m really not pregnant”. When the technician entered and I told her the news, that this was really my first pregnancy test (you know, just to make me not look too dumb if there was nothing there) – she just laughed, and thankfully Ethan made his presence on the screen and ultimately I passed the test.

So I’m not pregnant. Not trying... just passing along a hallmark moment.