How to Furniture Shop

Amidst our camping trip, we also made time to go furniture shopping this past weekend - hoping to sucker out some good Memorial day sales. In the end, we made out like bandits, and I'd like to share our tale.

Step one: Call all the furniture stores in town (not many here) and find out what deals they are offering (so you can finagle them lower or else let them know what others are offering).

Step two: Bribe your children with bubble gum. If they are well behaved in the first store, they get gum.

Step three: Bring the old laptop and a favourite DVD. The next few stores you go into, sit your kids on the comfiest couch, turn on the movie and roam worry-free.

Step four: Argue about furniture with your spouse. Ask about protection plans and post-furniture-shopping marriage therapy sessions.

Step five: Hand out more gum. Carry sleeping toddler to next store, put on movie from where you paused it. Have furniture consultants compliment your parenting and children.

Step six: Tell everyone you'll be back on Monday. Have them ask what it will take to get a deal made today. Tell them you're in no rush and will be back Monday.

Step seven: Move your current furniture together and after going crazy for a day, decide you DON'T want a sectional in your family room.

Step eight: Research material, stores, protection plans online.

Step nine: Return on Monday. Bring a second movie, more gum, and lots of information (enough to stump even the managers with). Listen through yet another detailed description of how leather goes from cow to couch.

Step ten: Find the perfect furniture for your family right now. Say you'll be back after lunch. Surprise the guy you're working with that you brought four children with you because they were so quiet and good that he hadn't even noticed them sitting on the couch in the front vegging out.

Step eleven: Find the couches you like the most on the internet for a grand cheaper and with quicker arrival dates. Pay through bing.com and get a percentage cash back AND a great Memorial day discount too.

Step twelve: Wait patiently for furniture to arrive... regret not taking any pictures of four kids on a couch being the best furniture shoppers EVER!

***for the record, the picture above is NOT the furniture we ended up purchasing