Sleepless Thoughts

I believe in life after death; sincerely and with an immense amount of gratitude for Him whose season we celebrate. I love that our Savior loves us so much to allow us to love forever. While I do not pretend to know or understand all that our afterlife will be, I do wonder about it from time to time, and I definitely know that it exists.

As someone who loves to sleep as a hobby, I have often contemplated whether or not that hobby will move with my spirit. This was just one of the many thoughts that rolled through my exhausted mind last night while I succored my poor, sick with the chicken pox, baby and then suffered from insomnia in between his un-restful moments. How can a parent sleep when there are children with needs to be met, lessons to be taught, and love to be tendered? As I rocked (either my child or myself to sleep) I pondered the needs and trials of many people in our family, church and community. My heart ached and my mind contemplated and many prayers were offered. And I realized, our Father must get much less sleep than I did last night. He who has so many children with so many needs, He who has so much to give, teach and offer. How He must ache to have rocked his infant Son, and how He must ache when we don’t allow Him to comfort us in our daily grievances. He must smile from above when He sees one of his children stop their selfish cares and truly care for another one of His children; just as I beam when one of my children takes a moment to make the other sincerely laugh and smile.

And I feel blessed. All of my children are birthed. We have been fortunate enough to be spared the death of a new baby; the horrors of having to bury such a small infant are beyond me. There are so many who are not spared this experience. Sickness, real sickness, is another that is so far beyond the small annoyances we have been dealt. As I spoke with a young father whose baby, just a couple of months younger than my own, has recently been diagnosed with leukemia and is sentenced to at least a year in hospital with a 50/50 chance of survival, I feel heartache mixed with relief. As I listened to his testimony of how they are going to survive this devastating challenge, I again felt certain that there is life after death, love beyond this earth and ultimately incredible love in this life. I hope that we will all allow the joy of the season, the season of giving, the season of Christ to enter into our hearts and our homes. May we love and live so that our love blesses the lives of all of God’s children. Because, as a parent, I know that it takes more than just me to raise a child.