Tips

Mr. T, my child who is obsessed with money but not with work, has had this on his door for weeks now. It makes me smile every time I walk by, amidst the disaster that is usually behind the door. So I had to capture the moment. Maybe I should drop some coins in there as his reward for making me smile.

Building Together

Here's what we're working on this week:
It's going to be a tree fort, sans tree. The tree fort these kids have been planning and saving random nails and screws for for years now. More pictures forthcoming when this base/fort/playground is complete.

Birthday Weekend

I wish I had pictures from Mr. Man's childhood; days like birthdays are times I crave for some images of his earlier days. I wasn't very picture happy this weekend, but we had some fun surprises and a great time celebrating Mr. Man's special day!

Surprise #1: Unexpected Visitors
Mr. Man's sister called me on Thursday. Her weekend plans to escape to CA had fallen through and her and her roommate were wondering if they could come crash our party! OF COURSE!!! The only stipulation was that she not tell Mr. Man. And so the surprise of both of them pulling up to our home at the same time on Friday evening was incredible! Mr. Man says its been years since he's had a "original" family member at his birthday celebration... so this was a great surprise. And we all adore his sister to pieces and her roommate seemed to fit right in. (Don't worry Miss H - I won't blog about the birthday spankings!)

Saturday morning the kids participated in a 1 mile fun run, while the "bigger" kids did the 5K. (I was still dizzy from Friday's experience with vertigo and stayed still with Little J.)

It really was fun! They're listening to the route. Too bad for those who didn't quite listen and got lost (not mentioning any names)!

We ran from that activity to the next... Mr. Man didn't want anyone thinking he's a redneck, so he didn't want any pictures of the mud bog event at the state fair that he couldn't wait to go watch! He was in heaven - and the rest of us were pretty entertained as well. Then we hit up the rest of the fair. It was the first time we've taken our kids to a fair. First we rode a "train" to take us on a tour of the fairgrounds and see places most people who visit the fair never see.


The first ride of the day was the swing ride. I have fond memories of my Mom being bullied into getting on this ride, losing her shoe, and proceeding to throw up after getting off! Little E and Miss J (who was thrilled to meet up with some of her friends) really enjoyed this one. Mr. T was feeling sick and dizzy on the ground just watching them.

So we wandered over to the little kiddy land for Mr. T and Little J. Little J enjoyed those rides, but check out Mr. T trying so hard to smile and not shake and act completely scared while riding! I'm just glad he went with Little J so I didn't have to test my vertigo out and look as ridiculous as the other parents on the tiny ride.

The petting zoo was a blast too... the kids spent forever there and Little E had to go back over and over to see "his horse." I can't believe I only took one picture... they wanted to take this soft little critter home. Um.... no.

We had a yummy dinner and then finished up the night at the RODEO, as per the birthday boy's request. It was a first for all of us, and quite the experience. Sorry, no pictures this time.

Sunday, the REAL birthday the kids decorated the house - and oh how they decorated. Then they created a treasure hunt and geocaching extravaganza for Mr. Man to get to his gift (since he knew what it was and they wanted to make it fun!) After tromping around the house and neighborhood, while the kids gave away the clues faster than he could read them, he finally got to his longed for ice cream maker. Of course we had to try it right away.
Surprise #2: Surprise Party
I invited some of Mr. Man's friends (biking buddies) and their families over for a little celebration including WOODSTONE and birthday cake.

"Woodstone" is our new family tradition. Basically the name is a combination of the two companies "Marble Slab" and "Coldstone" and all we do is have a variety of ice cream and jars full of mix-ins and we combine everything together on our wooden cutting board. Very deluxe and delicious and also cost-effective! Each of the families brought some mix-ins and we were spoiled to death with the variety.

With favourite meals, phone calls, gifts from family and well-wishes, I'd say Mr. Man had a pretty great birthday weekend.

Slightly Disturbing

Did you have to look at that picture twice?

I'm going to call it "George Lucas takes on the Dark Side."

Stupid rubber snakes. I hate them almost as much as I hate real ones. For years now, my kids have picked up on my disgust of anything creepy crawly and I have found spiders and snakes (fake ones) in my bed, on my face while sleeping, in my books, in my kitchen drawers... you name it. It's disconcerting. As such, I have proclaimed the right to throw out any rubber creatures, and am always on the lookout for party bags or other techniques to allow entrance to these annoying pests into my home. We haven't had a rubber snake in our house in a long time... and so the other day when I saw a snake in my yard, I didn't even question if it was real or rubber.

Embarrassingly enough I had a friend and her kids over and created a little scene for her to laugh at. We were sitting on the deck talking when I looked into the grass and saw what I thought was a real snake. I started freaking out and since my friend refused to be the one to touch it and I wanted to get rid of it right away I started wondering out loud what we should do. I wondered if there was a number we could call for someone to come catch it and get rid of it. I was slightly stupefied and freaked out and then I called the kids out to see the snake, swearing them to stay on the deck. My friend commented that it sort of looked like one of those rubber snakes, and I informed her that we didn't have any of those in our house. The kids came out and laughed and me and Mr. T began to approach it saying it was his toy snake. I was still wary and had him throw a stick at it to see if it would move - since it hadn't moved yet. And, of course, it was his rubber snake - who knows how it snuck in - and it has been showing up in endless locations freaking me out ever since.

Succinct

"There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
- Shakespeare

{chubby arms and hands... completely content playing with a single feather for hours}

The Lake

What the picture of our "getaway" didn't show:
-billions of ants
-kajillion mosquitoes (and the ensuing bites... we look like we're diseased and are scratching ourselves like we are too)
-zero shade = headaches, heat stroke, sunburns, grumpiness
-horrendous wind to blow down the tent
-bumpy construction en route where we lose one paddle
-horrible campsite reservations, so we had to go find a new one
-100 degree weather (see what I get for bragging about our perfect temperatures?!)
-potty accident in a sleeping bag
-lost sun hats
-flat bike tires and sore body parts due to cactus-like plants
-the fact that everybody at the lake has a camper and speedboat and we brought a tent and a canoe
-allergic reactions
-deflating air mattresses
-forgotten ketchup
-stolen trailer gear
-broken sunglasses (you'll see my new style shortly!)
-fighting and whiny children


What other pictures of our "getaway" do show:
-relaxing lakeside
-smiles
-campfire fun and smores galore
-rewards to encourage peace-making and helping
-lazy mealtimes and talks
-fast-paced games under the mosquito net
-exploring other "islands"
-fishing with "real" bait
-finding feathers and chasing seagulls
-delicious food -all cooked by Mr. Man
-bike riding at sunset and races galore
-ice cream bars and licorice
-frisbee and glow stick games
-splashing and swimming












Now that I've listed it all out, I suppose it wasn't so bad.
Little J did say in his prayer: "Jesus, take me away from my parents to live somewhere else. I don't like living with all these bugs and bug bites."
An adventurous weekend, to say the least.

(not to mention that we came home for a wedding mid-camping-trip!!!)

Good Morning!

Our camping trip was. More details to follow.


Needless to say, it is good to be home.

The morning is gorgeous and I went outside to tend to my gardens. With the sun on my back I would have been happy to be picking weeds, but instead I picked all of these:

It's bound to be a good day.
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Before I forget, I also want to share one of the "overheards" that occured on our drive to the Lake.

after some sort of sound effect
Miss J: "Why do boys ALWAYS make sound effects?"
Mr. T: "Because girls don't.... why DON'T girls make sound effects?"
Miss J: "Because they're loud and unhelpful."
Mr. T: "They are too helpful!"
Miss J: "Only for boys."

Made me laugh!!!
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Getaway

We've decided to stick "close" to home this summer and revel in the weather that everyone else roasting around the country wishes they could enjoy, and also to get to know this part of the country a little better.

So for now we'll be here, in case you need us:
We've got our bear spray and our oars... and all the stuff for s'mores!

Enjoy your weekend too!

Finding my Groove

This summer started out sl0wly. The gorgeous weather we are now enjoying took its time getting here, and I did summer classes the first summer term which extended into two weeks of the kids' summer break. They had their Dad to themselves in the morning, adventures with me during my two hour mid-day break, and then a fabulous babysitter in the afternoons. We couldn't have been happier, and paying somebody to play with my kids was the best guilt-free idea of the summer. We love our babysitter to pieces.

At any rate, I had a glorious 4 day break before starting a single online course (which has been interesting) and preparing for a large family gathering. My mental health has been pretty stable, but knowing how much stress (good and bad) can come from large groups (especially family:) I was able to double up my meds for the week and boy did that help. I couldn't feel anything. Which may sound horrible, but it was what I needed. I was able to just keep going from one meal, cleanup, activity, school assignment, craft, and game to the next. When people were leaving and hugging me, some with tears, I knew I would feel sad later, but at the time I couldn't feel it and was able to say goodbye and keep on going. I couldn't feel sad, and I couldn't be ecstatic, but I was stable.

Now we're on to long summer days with the kiddos, and usually a few extra that I'm either babysitting or just friends who have joined us. I am having a blast coming up with plans for our days. Today we named it "Firefighter Appreciation Day" and made cards and cookies which we then biked down to the fire station. They were out on a job our first time, but after a visit to the park we stopped by again and caught them and even lucked out and had an unexpected tour! From fast-paced hikes and bike rides, to low-key hot-tubbing and backyard games, we are staying busy and staying up late, reading books and watching movies, or having a fire in the backyard. I forget how much I love planning and being with children. It's exhausting but so rewarding, and right now there's only one of my kids that I am willing to trade!

We are heading out for some camping by a lake and should get in some fun beach and canoeing time too.

We're in a good groove over here, and it's about time! Summer here makes us want to stay forever. I only wish it were longer!

Momentary Memory Remembrance

It's funny how memories can strike at the oddest times.

I often wonder if when a memory is created, if there are key trigger points attached to it as it gets filed away in the that monstrous filing cabinet we call a brain. Because sometimes I remember the oddest things at the oddest times!

For instance, this picture is hilarious to me, mostly because of the memory it triggers.
First of all, Mr. Man and I look ridiculous in our matchy matchy blue polo shirts and what is up with that pose that we are obviously oblivious to the fact that we are identically positioned in?!

And the whole scene just reminds me of an English class we took together at BYUH years ago when we were both young undergrads (for the first time)! With polar opposite majors, we took advantage of any core classes we could take together, and this was one of them. We were taking it in the summer and between working and watching our baby, often we didn't see each other until our evening class... and almost always showed up dressed identically! It became a class joke. And typically we were both wearing light blue shirts and khaki shorts (we were poor students and only had a limited wardrobe to begin with!) So this picture brings back a flood of memories of that class and time period.

And then there are these two pictures which already bring up random memories:
One thing a trampoline is good for is when you are trying to make ice cream by hand. I thought, with 21 family members, we would have a blast making ice cream - tossing it back and forth and then enjoying the sweet reward. And yet, I am sure this will get filed in the "flop" memory file for everyone involved because it was a royal flop. First of all, it was a giant mess, everyone got worn out, the ice cream never completely solidified (more like milk shakes) and it just wasn't the "fun" family activity I had imagined! Oh well. Nothing like spending $30 on supplies for a floppy ice cream memory!

It's kind of like today. I'm watching a couple of extra kids, and for some "fun" we went on a penny hike this afternoon. We rode our bikes and at every corner, a different child would toss a penny: heads we turn right, tails (or building in our case) and we turn left. We wandered, what felt like aimlessly and repetitively, around the neighborhood. The kids really hated it. They voted it the worst hike we'd ever been on. So we celebrated afterwards, because how many times do you go on the "worst hike ever?" Hopefully they'll remember the horrible part and that we celebrated it. But who knows. I have lots of memories of horrible hikes myself. The worst one being the Thanksgiving hike where I was so lost that the remaining family members sent the police to search for me. When I was finally found, I got to ride in the back seat of the police car (since Mom had invited the police who helped look for me over for pie). The officer looked at me, in the back seat crying, through his rear view mirror and said, "That's funny, they told me you had green eyes, but they look red to me!" Not funny then. Pretty funny now.

I get a "kick" out of this kid

I remember when I couldn't wait for my kids to turn the right ages so I could sign them up for sports, arts and other activities. Three was usually the "magic sign up age" and I couldn't wait to figure out their talents and skills so that I could push them towards some lofty Olympic goal. Even before my kids could walk or talk, I was taking them to parent-tot activities to help them become co-ordinated, rhythmic fools. It didn't take me long to realize that I was only exhausting myself, and the only one learning anything (that this is a waste of time and money) and usually the only one socializing (with other mothers like myself whose kids can't yet communicate). Since that time of absurd tiger mother mentality, I have lapsed into another stage of lazy mothering. My kids have each other to play with, that's why I had them after all. They can sing on my lap at the piano, we can play catch or kick balls together, heck we can even play music of every sort and dance our hearts out together. And so, unless my kids express a large interest in something, I no longer sign them up for things that they may or may not like. I will say, that when they were younger it was nice to have an excuse to get out of the house and most of the activities we did were enjoyable and kept us busy, but now we're busy enough without anything extra. My kids are going to be pretty well-rounded for all the attempts they've made at dipping into different activities, but they won't be playing at Carnegie hall any time soon, but hopefully they will remember their childhoods with fondness. Now this isn't to say we sit around doing nothing but play all day. Each child plays and practices piano (to their great delight) and then there is cub scouts and activity days and each can choose one other activity if they wish. The older boys did Taekwondo last year and Miss J went from basketball to ballet. I don't know how to physically balance any more than that and still have time to make dinner and read stories occasionally.

And so, when I saw the sign-ups for a soccer class for Little J, I barely glanced at it. Hello - he has three other siblings to play soccer with if he wants. He would rather play at the playground at the park than in a field. My other three year olds were horrible at soccer and it soon became a battle to get them there. I was not about to push it. But then I saw the price and the time commitment: four weeks, a half hour a week, $10. Surely we could handle that? And guess what? He LOVES it and he's great at it. This kid is such a good listener, the coaches are fabulous, and he is a star player. Seeing him literally wind up before he kicks makes my heart happy!
His siblings play on the playground while he kicks his heart out, and he practically gets himself to soccer practice he's so excited to get dressed and go. No forcing, bribing, or tackling into the car. This makes for a very happy mama. We're on to our last week and it was short enough that I'm not even sighing in relief like I usually do after a sport season. And now my lazy mother system is getting shot down as I wonder what I can sign him up for next! Poor boy has been missing out.

Kung Fu Fighting

When my parents were visiting my two big boys were telling them all about their Taekwondo skills and "moves" and my Dad made the mistake of boasting about his "black belt." You know, the one that matches his black dress shoes. Little E wanted to show the man up, and a little spur ensued. I think Little E tired his Granddady out...


Look at the moves my Dad has! And check out Little E's unimpressed face.
And look what happened when my Mom was trying to read a serious book to the kids.... I only wish I could say that this never happens. It's kung fu krazy at our house.

Listening

"Listening" has been on my mind lately. I am not a very good listener and I have been trying to focus on learning how to listen better and to apply what I see in others who are good listeners. I am not easily entertained, and allow my mind to wander frequently if I am uninterested in what another is saying. Because of this, or else because I am very much interested in what another is saying and want to tell them so, or share a similar experience, I am known to interrupt A LOT. I try hard to learn names and use them, and I also try to remember specifics about people - whether it be where they are from, how many siblings they have and what they are currently involved in. I am very good at asking questions, and I know that helps others to think I am listening, but I believe that true listening doesn't just benefit the person you are listening to, but it benefits the listener as well. Somehow I think it creates an energy and a power as another places their strengths and weaknesses into your ears and life, and that transfers a special gift that is comparable to a circle of life where we all benefit from each other. Sometimes when we listen we hear things that hurt us, sometimes listening takes energy away. Other times we offer words that give energy to another, and then there are the times when both the speaker and the listener share a bond that comes from the gift of listening. I know this is an area I need to improve in, and perhaps because I have been focused on it, I was drawn towards the two pictures in this post out of the dozens of pictures taken last week. One is of my little (taller than me) brother "listening" to Little J and the other show my Mom "listening" to me. A glimpse into two individuals who have a gift for listening. And I must admit that it's a bit of a joke that the two chatter-boxes are myself and Little J! What secrets do you have about how to be a good listener?

To "Real" Mothers Everywhere

Reading books by Jodi Picoult is one of my guilty pleasures. I just finished "House Rules" today, which was fascinating given my recent project on Autism for one of my classes last semester. The ending was anti-climatic, though it was overall a good and entertaining read. This one passage stuck out to me and I wanted to share it with all of you real mothers out there:

"When did they stop putting toys in cereal boxes?

When I was little, I remember wandering the cereal aisle (which surely is as American a phenomenon as fireworks on the Fourth of July) and picking my breakfast food based on what the reward was: a Frisbee with the Trix rabbit's face emblazoned on the front. Holographic stickers with the Lucky Charms leprechaun. A mystery decoder wheel. I could suffer through raisin bran for a month if it meant I got a magic ring at the end.

I cannot admit this out loud. In the first place, we are expected to be supermoms these days, in stead of admitting that we have flaws. It is tempting to believe that ll mothers wake up feelings fresh every morning, never raise their voices, only cook with organic food, and are equally at ease with the CEO and the PTA.

Here's the secret: Those mothers don't exist. Most of us -even if we'd never confess - are suffering through the raisin bran in the hopes of a glimpse of the magic ring. [...]

Real mothers wonder why experts who write for Parents and Good Housekeeping - and, dare I say it, the Burlington Free Press - seem to have their acts together all the time when they themselves can barely keep their heads above the stormy seas of parenthood.

Real mothers don't just listen with humble embarrassment to the elderly lady who offers unsolicited advice in the checkout line when a child is throwing a tantrum. We take the child, dump him in the lady's cart, and say, "Great. Maybe you can do a better job."

Real mothers know that it's okay to eat cold pizza for breakfast.

Real mothers admit it is easier to fail at this job than to succeed.

If parenting is the box of raisin bran, than real mothers know the ratio of flakes to fun is severely imbalanced. For every moment than your child confides in you, or tells you he loves you, or does something unprompted to protect his brother than you happen to witness, there are many more moments of chaos, error, and self-doubt.

Real mothers many not speak the heresy, but they sometimes secretly wish they'd chosen something for breakfast other than this endless cereal.

Real mothers worry that other mothers will find that magic ring, whereas they'll be looking and looking for ages.

Rest easy, real mothers. The very fact that you worry about being a good mom means that you already are one."

(pages 156-157)

Crazy Family

While it's been quiet on my blog, it has NOT been quiet at my house! We've had 21 family members gathering at our home and it's been SO fun! Everyone is sleeping right now... shhhh... it was a late night. Thanks everyone for coming so far to see us, we love you all.


(My sister, the photographer, has the BIG GROUP picture - but just imagine all these people jammed into one picture, and that's been my living room and backyard!)