Much Ado about Nothing

Way too much has been going on.
Last week was screen-free week.
We've had birthdays and company and way too much cake!
This week is my last week of school
Then finals.
Then Hawaii.
Someday I will catch up with life and blogging and journaling.
For now I'm still focusing on survival.

Till later... here's my crazy family on Easter Sunday.

Grieving

My therapist thinks I am grieving.

Grieving my kids being young. Grieving being at home with all of them all day long. Grieving the mom I used to be, and so forth and so on.

This morning The Preschooler and I pulled out the beads. We made some necklaces for his Grandmas and a toy for our cat.

This afternoon he had a friend over, and again we got to beading.

I used to vacuum up beads so much it was a strange day when the bead-sucking sound didn't sing. But for the life of me, I can't remember the last time I worked some gymp through some beads. And yes, I think I may be grieving.

Bites

My youngest is really a fabulous little shopper. Taking him on errands is rarely a chore (knock on wood). He knows his way around the grocery store and loves helping me check things off our list. He also knows where all the free tasty treats can be found.

The other day I had all four kids with me to literally grab four items. He was so excited to direct them to the cookie counter for their free cookie. Then he introduced them all to our friendly and favourite cashier, Karen. (Favourite because she flirts with him and always has a treat ready for him as well.) She was making chit chat with the kiddos, and Little E showed her his cookie of which he had not yet taken a bite. He explained to her that he was saving it for after his lunch, and that he hadn't take a single bite yet. The Preschooler then demonstrated the crumbs left on his hands and face, and declared: "I took LOTS of single bites!"

I was talking to Oma today and told her this short dialogue and she laughed and laughed. So I had to record it, if only to remember the laughter it emitted and the sweet people in my life.

I Looked out the Window and What did I see?

Days like today I despise living on a corner.
I paid the two eldest a dollar each to help with most of it. Best two dollars I've spent in a long time.
I'm not sure where this snow came from... it's not our typical light fluffy stuff. It was a better workout than Jillian. So I'm rewarding myself with some Cadbury mini-eggs.
Mr. Man is on a man trip in the dessert mountain biking. Don't worry,sweetie, I saved you half the driveway--- and it's still coming down! We may own a snow blower when you get back. (Wishful thinking; Mr. T suggested the purchase.)

Oh the Irony!

Sometimes when I'm walking to and from classes, I start "writing" blog posts in my mind. Recently I have had a stream of pretty darn good grades: a slew of perfect papers, and my lowest mid-term exam score was a 90%. I know right. I was pretty impressed with myself. And so it was, while walking amongst my fellow students, feeling pretty smug, I thought up a whole wonderful post with the instructions and title: "How To Easily Get an "A" in Any Class."

And then I ate humble pie for lunch the next day.

I got back my math exam and also received what I believe (as far as I can remember) to be my very first "C" ever in my life. It would be an understatement to say I was devastated. The worst of it was, it wasn't just lots of small little dumb mistakes, but no - I still can't solve half the problems I got wrong.

I've said many times, that I don't expect (myself or my children) to be the best... but just to be the best that I (or they) can be. Ofttimes I find myself disappointed in myself for NOT being or doing what I know I am capable of. But in this case, if I truly listen to my own advice... I did do my best, and it just wasn't the best score. And now you don't have to listen to a self-absorbed student talk about how to get an "A". You just have to sit and read about a type A self-absorbed student ramble on aimlessly about how a "C" helped her to see things a little more clearly.

Survival

I feel like I have been in survival mode for so long. How on earth do people stay so on top of things?

Mr. Man looked in the fridge the other day and commented on how he could tell it was the end of the month. At the beginning of a month I usually start a bunch of planning and scheduling, it's like a fresh start... and apparently even the fridge and our meals are affected. Maybe it's the fact that it's still butt freezing cold out, though I hate to blame everything on the weather here, but I'm just not feeling it this month.

The countdown is on for the end of the semester. Part of me can't believe I actually went to school full-time. There are still so many random assignments, papers, presentations and exams left in the next few weeks... and that is such a weight on my shoulders on top of everything else that seems to be hanging out there these days.

Wednesday morning I register for summer and fall classes. I do feel closer to having completed a huge goal... and that's encouraging.

It's hard to let things slide in the process. Of course it's inevitable, but it doesn't help that I feel that horrible thing called guilt. Our poor primary should really find somebody who is more dedicated than I am. My poor house used to sparkle, and my children are lacking in the responsibility department because they know their poor old mom is tired and isn't as consistent as she used to be.

I've been having dreams at night about my future classroom, and that's so exciting to me.

This post also probably stems from the fact that I have post-test anxiety today and will be getting back a geometry exam in a few hours. Heaven help me.

The weekend will be hectic and fun and then we'll be back to another week. Surviving.
{I added this picture just 'cause I think these two are the cutest little "orange" haired boys out there}