My Daughter: The Feminist

There have been numerous comments made by Miss J in the last few months that have led me to believe that I am raising a strong feminist. Some I have overheard, others have been reported to me by friends or teachers. Tonight for Family Home Evening we had a treasure hunt that consisted of a bunch of clues leading them ultimately to the scriptures that were open to Matthew 6:20-22 - the "lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven" and "for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also" scripture. It was fun and a nice break from our "house" for a bit. One of the clues was:

Man cannot live by THIS alone. Look where we keep THIS and you will find your next clue.

Mr. Man coaxed the kids by asking them if they recalled the scripture that talked about something that man cannot live without (the correct response being "bread"). Miss J's immediate response and guess was: "Women!"

I nearly died laughing. Mr. Man admitted that she was right, but that this was another thing that man cannot live without. Love this spunky girl who is, ironically, surrounded by brothers day in and day out! She is a treasure in and of herself.

And feminist or not, her favourite colour is still "pink and purple".

Countdown

Six word Saturday (describe your day in six words):

MY HOUSE IS NOT A HOME

We got rid of our shed, washer and dryer and shelving. Did LOTS of packing; so that I feel like I can actually get the rest done in a week. And took everything off the walls and spackled. It does NOT feel very homey in here. But alas, my new home is calling me.

(And yes, I colour code my boxes per room - leave me be, these are MY many coloured days!!!)

Summer Staples

I mentioned to my friend the other day that we had been lucky this summer with so few scrapes and bruises. Apparently I should have knocked on wood; since uttering that comment I think we have scraped and bruised every last knee and elbow in the family at least once. These just SIT on my bathroom counter now waiting. They are definately our summer staples, along with helmets and popsicles. (And can I just tell you how much it pains this anal retentive Mom to see that I opened that pack of bandaids upside down everytime I go in that bathroom! I know... I need help.)

Sunday I was geting dressed for church and came down to see this:

Love when these four little monkeys can actually get along and play nicely. And LOVE that Mom sent us a new UNO game in her package... it's a huge hit over here!

You should also know that I sat down and played with them. It turned ugly though, as Miss J had dealt the cards and had given herself all the black pick-up-fours and change colour cards! We had a brief lesson on honesty and playing fair, and then a little lesson on name calling (as the boys were apt to point fingers and call her a "cheater cheater pumpking eater" - what does THAT even mean or come from??!)

Also, if you look closely, my sweet baby in the adorable hat is holding a square ruler thingy. His Grandma got him a cute little construction set while we were vacationing. It had all sorts of little tools that made noises, and yet he immediately picked up the square, called it his gun and has held it ever since. Seriously, he will not put it down. The minute he wakes up he looks for it, and starts pointing it and making shooting noises. Where have my values gone? Yet, he is so cute with it. I think we will both cry when he loses it.

Preventing Osteoporosis

We got good mail today. Anything much bigger than an envelope gets delivered right to our door by our favourite mail lady. And as she approached the excitement in our home reached an all time high. The package contained fun goodies for everyone, including my most favourite Canadian chocolate bar. And more than one too! I have already eaten two of them, but without the guilt... this time I noticed a special checkmark on the packaging that told me my candy of choice was a good source of calcium. I'm feeling a bit calcium deficient, and would hate to break any bones in the future... and I love me my Aero bars!!! Thanks Mom!

For any of you Canadians out there, do you remember those great commercials from the 80s for Aero bar??? The "What are you doing?" "Nothing, nothing!" "What are you eating?" "Nothing nothing!" I wish I could find them on youtube or somewhere - LOVED those commercials.

Kids Clothing Inventory

In my early life as a mother when I had zero respect of my own sense of mothering and read every parenting book I could get my hands on, I actually learned a few valuable tips. One was to have a child's clothing inventory. I used to have a little black book... and have in more recent years turned to a simple excel sheet. Using a list has proved priceless, and has, I'm sure saved me time and money. I don't have to sort through bins and bins of clothes, I just check my list. When something gets worn out, I check it off my list. When we have a stack of "needs" I print off my list and go shopping for EXACTLY what we need, instead of acquiring an obscene amount of pants but no tops. I love this little list, and wanted to share how I keep track of my kids' clothing needs. I also love that now after the baby outgrows something, I can just pass it on to my sister or get rid of it by some other means and no longer have stacks and stacks of baby clothes. I'm getting old.
At the park today, a little boy came up to me and said, "Hi. I'm Joshua and I'm four." He was so sweet, my response came right out, "Hi I'm (you all know my name) and I'm 28!" He looked up at me more perceptively and said, "WOW! You're old."

I just hope I get older AND wiser. Let me know if you have any questions about how my "list" works.

Best Offer?

The last time our family moved it was a huge disaster learning experience. That summer, we had a new baby (who was a horrible colicky newborn), Mr. Man's summer job consisted of an hour and a half commute each way, our car's engine blew up (or something like that) and we had to have a new engine put in it and then as we were loading up the truck to move, our eldest (who was 3) broke her arm and postponed our move by a day so we could get her patched up. The move itself was anything but delightful as it poured with rain the entire way, the baby screamed, the slightest movement caused hysterics for Miss J and her broken arm, and what was supposed to be a 9 hour drive was 12. I remember tears streaming across my face during numerous moments of that move as the windshield wipers set the example of continuing to be steadfast and immovable.

This move has seemed so much more promising. The kids and I will be flying across the country for one thing. And there is no baby anywhere in sight, my youngest is almost two and the oldest 8 1/2 - a huge difference. But so far one trend has decided to make itself known. Our van's engine is done. Yup. The van that we saved and saved for and payed cash for just over two years ago is dead. The price to put a new engine in is almost the same price we payed for the van... so it's not an option we're too excited about. Buying a new van 2 weeks before we move (into our new house) isn't a nice option either. We're slightly bummed about being the adults in the family right now. Basically it sucks.

However, Mom says to count my blessings, and really I do feel blessed in so many ways. I am especially happy that we all made it home safe and sound and that all my kids are healthy. What more could I need? It's my wants that are getting in the way.

In looking at vehicles and discussing our options, we decided that it really would be much cheaper and easier (and in my opinion a more preferable driving experience) if we could get a little car and not a van or other 6+ passenger vehicle. So at dinner we opened up to the kids who would like to leave our family so that we could fit in a little car again. Mr. Man even offered to buy the first person willing to walk out the front door their very own wii. I voted we get rid of the baby, since we all know how I feel about children betwen the ages of 1 and 3. Plus he's the only one not potty-trained, so that's a definate turn off. Mr. Man thought that if we were going to trade a child in for a car, we needed to get the most possible, so he voted we trade Miss J since she can read, clean the bathroom...and is possibly worth the most: the girl has skills! Mr. Man will often call Little E his toy, so then the propossal came that we trade in our TOY-E for a Toyota! (Not that we're anticipating getting another Toyota in this lifetime.) Mr. T just started crying and said that we needed to get a van so we could all fit, and because we needed a back windshield wiper and cars don't have that. Miss J retorted that I had promised that I would always take care of my kids no matter what, so the only option would be for Mr. Man to leave. He said that was just fine because then he would take his money with him. I told him that's not what the lawyers will say.

At any rate, we had to laugh because the other emotions are threatening to cave. We have each other, and we need a big vehicle... though thankfully not one THIS big:



If anyone dares to break a bone, I may lose it.

Raising Themselves

I've always been the sort of mother to encourage my kids to learn independence. They get themselves ready every morning (with very little prompting) including making their beds, practicing piano, morning work, and getting the table ready for breakfast. This gives me time to get myself ready (since I'm not an early riser) or, ahem, sleep in longer than they do without feeling a huge rush afterwards. When I was on bedrest with my last pregnancy they were forced to learn to do all sorts of things on their own. It was either make your own sandwich or go hungry. But now they have a whole repertoire of independent items that I can call upon.

Having everyone home all day all summer means more messes, but it also means more helpers. Our lunch prep team includes one sandwich maker, one veggi/fruit preparer, and one table setter/water pourer. They love these jobs and will typically go around with pen and paper like a waiter taking the sandwich orders, and the fruit and veggies have gotten fancy with little toothpicks or kabobs as well. Fine by me. The clean-up crew consists of a table wiper (job held by Mr. T who spills and makes the most crumbs, but now has real motivation to improve), a sweeper (Miss J) and Little E clears the baby's spot and organizes the shoe rack (the last job is because he just loves to do that so much). They've become better eaters (because you can't whine to Mom when you made the meal yourself), they express gratitude for those who prepared the meal, and I'm doing less which gives me less to complain about!

My kids have a before dinner job every day too. I've made fancy charts before, but haven't changed out our current job chart in quite some time. Miss J has actually memorized what her daily jobs are now. Once we move I'll have to update, mostly because their job abilities have augmented, and we'll have more house to keep clean. Mr. T can now be found pulling out the vacuum on a regular basis because he just loves to vacuum. Miss J enjoys cleaning the top of the stove... without any prompting on my behalf. And Baby J think that playing in cleaning the bathroom sink is the most fun that can be had. I say use your observations and help your kids teach themselves to work.

We've been doing a lot of packing and purging. I've had to explain to the younger two the purpose of all the boxes in our home! The kids can't wait until we get to our new house and are unpacked because they are certain we are going to get to keep all these boxes as new toys! If you haven't read these two great books, you should:


So simple and true to childhood, but my kids just think they are so great. Love the child-observed creativity.

So even if you're not moving this summer, I suggest you get a box or two for some serious creative play. Not to mention the multitude of fun that can be had with a ream of packing paper. The other day the kids created a map of a zoo... and can you find Waldo???

I'm thinking I may just take The Lazy Organizer's approach and let my kids raise themselves. Only for now I won't be chilling out in my bedroom, I'll be packing it up!

The Real World

Our vacation is over. Memories made, and rest and relaxation received.

Now it's back to the real world... in every possible sense.



I need another vacation!

Smorgasbord

We are vacationing way up north, relaxing and spending time with family before we pack up and head across our "other" country. My dreams lately consist of living in and setting up my new home, painting, decorating, and even putting up my Christmas décor. I’ve already situated most of my decorations (in my mind) and have even determined my neighbor gifts. I’m excited. Though I know most of the imagined decorating is going to take some time, and money, but it’s fun to dream. And seeing some dreams come true inevitably invites more dreaming.

We’re in a cottage at a great child-friendly beach that is also a marina. I have thoroughly been enjoying my children and husband, have made 6 batches of strawberry jam, am on my third novel, and have done so much people watching (or mostly over-hearing) that I feel like I could write a novel. Some of the people here are absolutely hilarious.

The walls in our cottage are as good as paper thin, though I figure with all the noise my kids make the neighbors should have figured by now that we can hear every word they make as well and would perhaps tone things down a bit for children’s ears. Our first set of neighbors had a newborn baby (not quite a month old) who would cry that pitiful newborn cry while they were just out of range in front of the cottages smoking their hearts out and drinking enough beer to sink a ship. They moved to a new cottage because apparently their porch stank like cat urine. At first I thought they moved because of us, but was glad nonetheless to have the smoke stench and its lasting effects eradicated from our vacation. And I'm kind of over the whole new born at 4am thing.

Our new neighbors are, I’m pretty sure, a complicated mother and daughter duo. They fight – yelling and screaming at each other – endlessly. They pound on, what I believe to be, the bathroom door, until the other finally exits. Then they come up front with their yappy little dog and smile and play with my children like they love each other and everything else in life as well. We know better.

There are other groups that crack us up. There’s the mother of two little boys who constantly asks me how on earth I manage four children. I’m running out of responses and am not really sure what she’s looking for. This woman cannot handle her two. She is always with the baby (who is 2 ½) but acts and is treated like a baby. The older boy (almost 4) is constantly on the prowl for destruction and, since his mother is nowhere near to supervise, my kids have had way too many sand castles and creations destroyed by him. Did I mention she has a nanny? A nanny who spilled a few interesting beans in a conversation and has brought a whole lot of questions and ideas to heart. Another appealing novel perhaps.

There are the drunks who lounge about in their skimpy swimsuits and beer bellies. Mocking my modesty and “cute tankini.” When asked what I do, with them assuming I was a teacher, I replied that I am a child development specialist. They were amazed, and clearly impressed, one was able to utter “like, in a third world country?” I responded that it was actually in the U.S. And quickly exited that social circle lest their habits and brain cell depletion be contagious. Still, the things I have heard…

And three doors down there was a death in the family -- or rather a death in the cottage. Sad, but a true story nonetheless.

Mr. Man is worried I’ll have nothing to do once I finish the last book I brought. But I’m not lacking entertainment in the least.

My internet sucks, so no pics yet. Not that I have taken any of these funny people. Just my great kids and sexy husband. Writing about them would be the ultimate novel. But it's also a lifelong work in progress.