I've hit this whole new era of motherhood. And while sometimes I read people's blogs or listen to thoughts on their lives and am so impressed that they don't let motherhood define who they are as a person, I've decided I can't help it. For now, it's what I do whole-heartedly and full-time, and really it defines me completely. But motherhood has taken on a new definition lately and I feel a bit lost in my role.
My forte is gone. I am really the best preschool Mom around. I love that age. I BELONG with 3-5 year olds, and I'm good at it. Being good at something makes you happy to do it, and it makes you feel good about yourself as well. Now I'm a school-age Mom (my poor five year old has had to make the leap too early for my liking!). My third grader has friends who want her to meet them at the park. I don't know if my heart can handle letting her ride her bike off down the street the 4 blocks and around the corner to the park without me! My first grader wants to be with his friends (and oh how they abound) every day after school. We need some balance, and I need to learn how to let go.
And then there is The Toddler. I am unabashedly his mother too. ALL DAY LONG. He is teaching me to play again, and I find myself doing things I haven't done forever, like library storytimes and running around the park with him instead of frequenting the bench (my rear may thank me!)
I really don't know how you mothers with teenagers and newborns and all that come between can do it. You are miracle workers for sure.
So I'm lost and am seeking guidance for my new-to-me role. I've got advice coming out of my ears for you preschool Moms - so somebody out there should have something for me before I turn to creating a support group for "lost Moms".
Part of me sees the humor in the fact that I purposely didn't start school this fall so that I could be an anchor of support to all the other family members who will be going through huge transitions, when now I find myself going through a doosy too! At least I know that I learned to walk one step at a time, just like everything else in life. The hard part is acknowledging that falling hurts and that it's part of the process as well.
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7 comments:
oh my friend I wish we could go to lunch....you are an amazing mom...I admire you So much...yes,where is that balance between being a mom and being ourselves? I marvel at how you love your children and want to be around them, and you want to teach them.....I can't wait for mine to be gone and rejoice when they reach milestones....SIGH...I wish I could be like you :) I am such a bad mom I can not even fake that I miss them when they are gone :)
Yes I have to agree with Jennifer! But I did get a good piece of advice. For a while I was absolutely MOURNING every day that ended, and every new day that began because that meant they(my beautiful girls) were yet another day older! Another day gone! And I would count the days they were slowly leaving me and leaving behind! Consuming! So finally when I was getting a blessing I was counselled to let go and enjoy my girls and enjoy the progress they were making and how they were growing. So I pass that on to you if that helps..... I'm sorry for your "doosy"! I hate those times! I hope you're settled in and you are finding good new things in your new surroundings!....
I do need preschool ideas!;)
I have been thinking about that exact same thing- how I seem to be nothing else but a mother. Not that that is a bad thing, but like you said Motherhood completely defines me. Oh, sure I try to take a few pictures or sell a few flower hairclips but that so rarely ever happens. I was thinking about some family members I have who are mothers but are constantly jetsetting to one place or another sans kids and I think, wow . . .(ramble, ramble- you struck a chord with me)
Welcome to the next chapter of your life.
Thinking of you.
I don't see a darned thing wrong with devoting yourself wholeheartedly to motherhood if you enjoy it. I love it, and while I enjoy the occasional break, that's really all I feel I need--just a little "break", not a whole other life. If you love it, embrace it--don't feel pressured to "be" anything else if you don't really want to. And I can completely relate to the school-age thing. I FREAKED OUT when Gracie started first grade. The all-day thing was a major adjustment. You're not alone!!
Oh WOW, this is a great post & you have the most gorgeous site here. I had to stop by to leave this comment for you – and to say hello of course ! Your posts are creative and original and you have interesting pictures. It's all perfect ! Thank you for sharing your site and best wishes....
Beautiful thoughts as always. I am struggling with some of these same issues right now. I've thought of eventually becoming a preschool teacher. I love the fact that it could be part-time, and I could plan crafts and storytimes without having the limits and rules of the public school system. I hate life changes. I love the status quo, so I can totally sympathize. The Lord will help you figure it out.
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