My Imminent Naturalization

When Mr. Man and I decided to get married, I was fully aware that he had lived in the States for the last several years, but I didn’t think I could go wrong marrying a “Canadian”. We had several immigration issues to sort through even during our engagement and given the time frame, we had even created a Plan B which was to marry in Canada and live there instead of going Mr. Man’s route with the visas and back out to Hawaii for school. I was sure Plan A would fail and that I would happily stay in my country. As much as I dragged my feet, as slow as the consulate was… Plan A worked out. Mr. Man had promised we would be in the States for one semester, at which time we would apply to Canadian schools and return to our home and native land. The past 7 years have been the longest semester of my life!

I started out with a fiancée visa, paid more than enough money, and visits to immigration officials (proving I wasn’t just married to “get” in the country) and soon became an alien and a conditional permanent resident. Not long ago I was able to get the “conditional” status removed and I am now proudly a permanent resident. However, every time we cross the border or when I happen to leave the country without Mr. Man, issues arise. Mr. Man has to write to give permission for me to take “his” children out of the country. Now that I have children in school, I feel a large obligation to be a part of the voting community… but I can’t, nor have I ever. As the years pass and the border patrol becomes more strict, we worry about our family becoming separated due to our differing passports and citizenship status’. Every time we get worried and know that, in reality, and for the best interest of our family, I must become an American citizen, I look into the application process, the test that has to be taken and the oath that I must repeat while renouncing my Canadian citizenship. And then my heart sinks, because I just don’t know if I can do it.

Mr. Man says I’m the only Canadian with this much pride for my country – which, in fact, practically makes me an American. But it’s hard. Could you do it? Renounce your home of birth, your place of origin and agree to stand and fight for another country that still does not feel like home? I used to be extremely pessimistic towards the US – mostly I was homesick – (but Amy and Kai can recall all my unfair statements). As I’ve grown older (and I like to think, more mature) and having moved so frequently across the country, my views and outlook have improved. We have grown to love everywhere we have lived. We have friends across the country and throughout the world. We are very blessed that way. I no longer have my heart set against living in the United States. I’m open to the fact that this may be my life and we’re not just “going to school”here… but still, it’s hard. I’ve been a royal pain to Mr. Man for years about our “country” issue… and I’ve tried to let it go and get over my seriously strong, intense and impossibly enduring feelings of nationality. Why is it such a big issue? Why must I choose? Can’t I just be a “North American” citizen? So we’re facing the issues of passports expiring and looking forward to the continual pain and cost of renewing my permanent residency “green card” and know that my naturalization, though seemingly unnatural, is indeed imminent. I’ve decided it’s too much for me to bear for the time being, but I’m making it a goal for 2008. Because you never know, at that point Mr. Man may graduate and we’ll return to the True, North, Strong and Free.