Lifelong Lessons Part II

Mr. Man is the cub master for our community cub scouts. He does a superb job, and has kids from other packs switching to ours because of all the hard work he puts in to making it amazing. Occasionally I help him, and we recently put together a whole night of "gingerbread service" stations where the cubs learned about, and actually served their families, community, and country. The community station consisted of decorating gingerbread boys with all sorts of icing and candies... then putting them on plates to deliver to the local retirement home. You can just imagine the creativity those boys (ages 6-10) let loose on the cute little gingerbread boys! I wish I'd taken pictures!

The next day we were scheduled to deliver the plates of cookies. In the end it was just my two little cub scouts and myself. But it couldn't have been better. The boys weren't thrilled that they had to stop playing legos to go do this, and as I explained to them to speak loudly since these older people can't hear as well, they looked at me and rolled their eyes, and I figured it was just going to be another chore for them to complete.

I was loving it, and kept thinking about how I hoped somebody was bringing cookies decorated by little boys to my Oma in her retirement home. We met some amazing people: from an old NBA player, to people who couldn't believe they could have a whole plate of cookies to themselves! Some of the elderly were completely lucid, and enjoyed the boys thoroughly, others claimed to not have any money and were thrilled at the gift that was given, others turned us away sadly while we lingered longer, trying to at least get a glimpse of a smile. When we were down to only three plates of cookies, we found two sweet ladies in the foyer, then one plate of cookies left for a woman named "Joy" who was overly grateful and told the boys, "I would hug you, but you're boys!" Little E approached her anyways, and then Mr. T and she hugged both of them. A perfect ending to a perfect experience.

No sooner had we left the retirement home and gotten into the car, than the boys started talking non-stop about the whole event! (They had been pretty quiet inside!)
Mr. T couldn't believe how good he felt inside. He was amazed at how cookies could really cheer somebody up and make their day... and couldn't believe that he had been able to be a part of that! He wanted us to go home and make a LOT more cookies right away to give away. He admitted that he had to wipe tears from his eyes a couple of times, and knew that he was feeling the way he was because he was serving. Little E coined it perfectly when he said, "We went to bring them joy, and in the end Joy came to us!" (That boy LOVES to play with words!) While a few people had offered to pay for the cookies, the boys said that they knew they wouldn't have felt as good as they did if they'd been paid. They said they finally understood why Jesus must have been so happy, since he constantly went around serving others, and never asking for anything in return. It was a special moment, hearing my boys openly express their feelings and knowing that they felt inspired to continue to do good.

THAT is what I hope my children will remember about Christmas.

Lifelong Lessons Part I

The manner of giving is worth more than the gift. ~Pierre Corneille, Le Menteur

This Christmas season has been full of the learning many lifelong lessons for our family. St. Nicholas visited our home as per tradition. And he brought with him a lesson to learn. Incidentally I had heard that St. Nick was considering bringing coal to a couple of trouble makers, but instead he brought small gifts including a chocolate letter (of each child's initial), a new bath towel, and a small toy (a transformer for each of the boys, something more grown up for Miss J).

First, a little background.

Little E has only been asking for one specific thing for Christmas... which is good because our kids only get three gifts: gold (what they want most), frankincense (something for their body or mind) and myrrh (something religious). The ONE THING he wants is Optimus Prime. So when he came downstairs on the morning of December 6th and discovered a transformer, but NOT Optimus Prime he was beyond devastated. Completely ungrateful and entirely upset over what he did NOT get. When I told my Mom this story, she ached for her grandson and felt bad that he didn't get what he wanted. Well, as his mother, I felt differently. How dare he be so ungrateful! I sent him back to bed until he could change his attitude, and since he was already bawling his eyes out, bed seemed like a good place to be. Eventually he came back out of his room and grumpily said that he was ready to have his presents now. Thus ensued a wonderful lesson/lecture by Mr. Man about what it means to receive a gift... and in the end, our little boy was told he couldn't open any of his gifts (chocolate letter included) until after school.

The crying started over again and he ran back to his room vowing never to come out, and screaming that he hated St. Nicholas.

Little E has never been a very good gift receiver. We've struggled with finding the perfect gifts for him, well-knowing that he expresses his joy and disappointment equally. We've seen him cry over a new bike, because he really wanted a scooter - and we've been embarrassed when this has happened in front of family and friends who are giving him wonderful gifts. Mr. Man tried to explain about WHY we give gifts, and what it means to receive a gift, and how the gift itself isn't what really matters, but the love and the gratitude of giving and receiving - the relationships that are built when we demonstrate that love.

Sometimes, it is not our ability to give something in return, but our ability to receive the gifts given us that counts. Our relationships are greatly enhanced when we become not only generous givers, but generous receivers as well, people who accept gifts gladly, thankfully, wholeheartedly, with the kind of smile you'll never forget.
Gifts are freely given, whose only reason and purpose is love. It has served its end when it is also received in love. For some, receiving comes naturally, for others it takes effort to be a generous receiver... Mr. Man did a great job explaining all of this to Little E.

Of course, then Mr. Man went to work.

It broke my heart to send my little boy off to school with tears still in his eyes. The only one to have not opened a gift that morning.

And yet, I knew and hoped that he would spend the day remembering, thinking and hopefully learning an important lesson.

Instead of coal, hopefully he'll remember the year his shoe was full, but his hands were empty. (Easy for me to say - since I KNOW what his GOLD gift will be.)


"Gracious acceptance is an art - an art which
most never bother to cultivate. We think that we have
to learn how to give, but we forget about accepting
things, which can be much harder than giving...
Accepting another person's gift is allowing
to express his feelings for you."
- Alexander McCall Smith

Quick Updates - mostly for my Mom!

Still can't get my movies to upload (from science fair, piano recital and taekwondo) but here are some "still" blasts from the recent past:

Rain Gutter Regalia






Science Fair




TaeKwonDo belt testing





Volleyball





Tree Trimming



Playing

Cozy

Winter here has come slowly this year. And I find myself anxious to be snowed in. I love having the fire going, candles burning, soft music playing, and all the kiddos home gathering around. I've tried hard to make our home "cozy" for when everyone gets home at the end of the day. Leaving items out so that the kids feel like they have come up with their own idea or project to do together has worked really well, and I find myself in love with the relationships that are developing and growing as we are stuck inside together. The end of the year and end of semester are drawing to a close, and busyness is upon us... and so I treasure these cozy moments when I try to focus on nothing but family (and making dinner!)

Often I forget, but here are a few shots I've taken of after-school coziness in our home.