Seesaw Schooling and Crossroad Pants

I’ve been feeling a little like an odd duck lately, especially when it comes to my child-rearing and education beliefs.  I believe in homeschool, though I have issues with it as well.  Same with public school.  I see the pros and cons to both, and at this point and time I support both schooling systems.  I don’t think there is a perfect way.  Gosh darn it, I’m going back to school to be a teacher in the public school system.  And I’m excited about that.  I wonder how many of my children’s teachers are still excited about what they do.  Or has “the system” sucked that out of them.   

I was in the school hallway yesterday, helping children with their reading when I heard the teacher who was originally Little E’s kindergarten teacher yelping at a child to “grow up, just grow up right now!”  I didn’t look up to see what the child was doing, but I can easily imagine what a five year old boy might be doing in the hallway towards the end of a long full day at school.  And I would hope he would be gently reminded, not urged to do what we parents are dreading yet we see happening quickly before our eyes: to grow up.  Just now my five year old fell off his scooter and needed his elbow kissed and then he needed to be held longer than I wanted to, but I held him because I’m here to do that.  At school he would be handed a bandaid, if that, and encouraged to be more careful.  I want him to explore, experience, and experiment.  And I want him to be picked up when he falls, pushed when he needs it and held back when he needs to be stifled or just held when he’s down and out. 

We were at Home Depot yesterday and the electrician who was helping us inquired into Little E’s schooling – as he looks school age more and more.  Little E gave his little explanation and then the questions began.  The most common and the most irritating to me is always “aren’t I worried about socialization?”  Can I just tell you how that stigmatization and expectation that public school children learn to socialize better kills me.  Have you seen the school playgrounds?  The bullying that goes on, the loneliness that some children deal with, the petty friend fights, not to mention the language and off-color jokes and labels that truly all disgust me.  In the classroom, with a teacher nearer to monitor the “socialization” most children are learning to sit still and be quiet, not how to politely and properly interact with others.  Socialization is taught at home, or should be; however children are schooled.  Socialization is about learning to interact with the world, it’s also what and how we learn from others around us.  It can be natural, planned, negative and positive.  I hope my children will experience each type, but I would hope that the learning and the “socialization” they experience and receive at home and through parental guidance would affect and stimulate the socialization they receive elsewhere.  I could go on and on.

Today was gorgeous and so we dropped all plans for schooling and have been outside ALL DAY!  Consequently both little boys are now sound asleep.  I love these days.  It will snow again soon and then we will catch up.  We are already onto so many “first grade” subjects, so I don’t worry one bit.  And part of me wishes to bring my other two home to enjoy the laziness and delightful spring weather.  I have big plans for the summer, things we are going to do and learn together, and yet I remember how towards the end of last summer I was so ready to have school start.  So I am a see-saw schooler I suppose!

I watch a little boy in the mornings and take him to school with my kids, or else send them out the door to walk or bike together.  The other day he was hesitating to leave and was having issues with his pants.  He had those fabulous adjustable waste pants and was fiddling with them, but in the process had pulled out both ends of the elastic, making them extremely loose.  He finally accepted my help and when I realized the issue, I told him he would have to take them off for me to get the elastic back in, so would he mind wearing a pair of one of my boys’ pants to school so I could fix them.  For some reason, the idea didn’t sit well with him, and so off he went walking to school HOLDING his pants up.  I thought about what a horrible day he would have with those pants, and I felt so bad for him.   The next day I asked him how he dealt with the pants problem and he said it was fine when he was sitting in his desk (which was most of the day) but it was the worst recesses ever!   Small problem, but it made me think how that little boy needed to be home, that he needed his mother in the mornings.  I recognized that there is so much truth to the need for mothers to be at the crossroads of their children’s comings and goings.  I guess I’ve known and felt that for some time, but it took a pair of pants to teach it to me so that I really know and feel it.  Some random thoughts.