I've Become One of THOSE Moms

I have a confession to make. As much as I feel that the bond of motherhood unites and entitles every mother everywhere to enter into a sort of cult (with new momhood being the worst possible form of initiation), I am, I’m afraid, very Momist. You’ve heard of sexism and racism, but are you aware of Momism? Perhaps not in that term, but I’m fairly certain it attacks most Moms on various occasions. It’s what allows us to have those moments where we feel like a good Mom. Because, invariably, if I am a good Mom, somebody else somewhere is what is definitely defined as a bad Mom. This summer, I’ve become that mother.

You know the Mom who, upon being awoken turns on the TV for her kids so that she can perchance catch a few more winks instead of physically and emotionally caring for and nourishing her children – yup, I’m her. The Mom who keeps her kids up way too late with no semblance of bedtime? Check. Last night my kids fell asleep watching something on late-night TV with their Dad. They have fallen asleep in the car too many times for count this summer. And my favorite was when I was the Mom with the kids running around in IKEA at 9pm – I HATE that Mom! Nobody should have their kids up that late, and if you do, don’t bring them somewhere to run around where I am trying to escape into a realm of matching furniture and adorable accessories! Summer Mom has completely taken over. She allows the children to eat way too many popsicles, she has introduced them to pop enough to make it a beverage that is asked for, and she has allowed fruit loops and waffles for breakfast. Unhealthy and uncaring, Summer Mom has also enabled her children to become so spoiled that one such child (with all fault being placed on Summer Mom and not on said child) actually refused to talk to a certain grandparent for a whole day when siblings were graced with a gift but not said child. Awful. Summer Mom’s kids have been overwhelmed with experience after experience – from amusement parks to cottages – they unremittingly ask “what’s next?” Summer Mom even has a constant supply of candy for potty bribes, etc. ETC!!!!!! I swore I would never become that Mom. I disgust myself, and yet…. I have come to an understanding that will forever change my Momism. Maybe those Moms are hating who they are just as much as I do, maybe it’s just an interlude for them too, maybe it’s not the worst thing in the world to be a bad Mom every once in a while. Maybe we’ll all survive. Maybe. For now I groan inwardly and hand my son the second remote to the TV so he can watch something different than the other two. Two TVs? What kind of Mom am I?