The Roaring 20s

Last night I was lamenting with a friend that there are merely days before I hit the ripe old age of 30. And yes, the thought brought tears to my eyes. "What have I done with my life?" I asked. Her reply, "you have a nine year old" made me realize that while my twenties are nearing a grand finale, I have done something great and wonderful with them. No diplomas (yet), no awards, no titles, no magnum opuses, very little recognition or compensation and not a penny to my own hard-working name... but I have been utterly and completely immersed in motherhood.

If you knew me in my teens, you knew that I had grand goals for my life and was very outspoken when it came to marriage and motherhood. Basically I wanted neither... at least until I had managed to make a difference in the world and fulfill my goals in life.

Marriage came early for me and swept me off my feet. Nobody stopped me to tell me how young I really was, but I love who I married and I love that I have somebody who shares more than ten years of the same memories I do. Somebody to take walks with, holding hands, recollecting and dreaming.

And then, just to make all my "plans" a laughing stock, serendipity hit again and I soon became a mother. Postpartum depression sucked all the happiness out of me for almost a year and a half, and yet the true blessing that it left me was the inability to do anything but attempt at existing. My goals, my dreams... everything took the back burner while I tried to get through each day at a time. By the time I was blessed with relief, I was grounded and focused on my family first and foremost. You see, I never planned to be a mother, let alone a stay-at-home-mom, and postpartum depression forced me into a career that I had no idea I would love as much as I do.

I can't tell you how many diapers I have changed, owies kissed, swings pushed, books read, meals made or hugs given. But if anyone asks, that is what I've been doing with my life. And I only hope my 30s will bring more of the same... and then some.