Growing Up

This little guy is starting a strike on naps.  At first I was scared to death... how would I get the kindergartner thoroughly educated with The Toddler around?  So far he's either participated, and wanted to do his own school, or else entertained himself.  Occasionally he's tired and takes a quiet time reading books on his bed.  The other day he "built" for a good hour, and he was so incredibly happy playing by himself I had to snap a few pictures.

He seems to be handling the growing up process just fine.  How come, as the mother, I'm not?

Palm Sunday

{My beautiful children}

What are you doing to commemorate and celebrate Easter this upcoming week?

Bi-Polar

The weather, that is.

Gotta love the good days, though you have to accept them with the bad!  I refuse to check the weather any more and just enjoy the moments that are breaking through.

Moments like these:

 Snow today.  But I expect a nice weekend.
In the meantime I'm stuck inside with these two crazy kids:

Check out these eyes!!!
Enjoy your weekend, inside or out!

Acknowledging Lack of Knowledge

We got a trampoline.  The boys claim they will never want to play the wii again.  It's a winner in my books.  Even I enjoy bouncing on it - though I have yet to attempt a flip.

At any rate, the little boys and I went up to Mr. Man's office to have lunch with him the other day and Little E was explaining in great detail a game that is played on the trampoline.  Mr. Man turned to The Toddler and asked if he liked to play that game too.  [The game requires counting to five.]  The Toddler, straight faced, looked up at Mr. Man and admitted in all seriousness, "No.  I can't count."

Cracked us up.

Seesaw Schooling and Crossroad Pants

I’ve been feeling a little like an odd duck lately, especially when it comes to my child-rearing and education beliefs.  I believe in homeschool, though I have issues with it as well.  Same with public school.  I see the pros and cons to both, and at this point and time I support both schooling systems.  I don’t think there is a perfect way.  Gosh darn it, I’m going back to school to be a teacher in the public school system.  And I’m excited about that.  I wonder how many of my children’s teachers are still excited about what they do.  Or has “the system” sucked that out of them.   

I was in the school hallway yesterday, helping children with their reading when I heard the teacher who was originally Little E’s kindergarten teacher yelping at a child to “grow up, just grow up right now!”  I didn’t look up to see what the child was doing, but I can easily imagine what a five year old boy might be doing in the hallway towards the end of a long full day at school.  And I would hope he would be gently reminded, not urged to do what we parents are dreading yet we see happening quickly before our eyes: to grow up.  Just now my five year old fell off his scooter and needed his elbow kissed and then he needed to be held longer than I wanted to, but I held him because I’m here to do that.  At school he would be handed a bandaid, if that, and encouraged to be more careful.  I want him to explore, experience, and experiment.  And I want him to be picked up when he falls, pushed when he needs it and held back when he needs to be stifled or just held when he’s down and out. 

We were at Home Depot yesterday and the electrician who was helping us inquired into Little E’s schooling – as he looks school age more and more.  Little E gave his little explanation and then the questions began.  The most common and the most irritating to me is always “aren’t I worried about socialization?”  Can I just tell you how that stigmatization and expectation that public school children learn to socialize better kills me.  Have you seen the school playgrounds?  The bullying that goes on, the loneliness that some children deal with, the petty friend fights, not to mention the language and off-color jokes and labels that truly all disgust me.  In the classroom, with a teacher nearer to monitor the “socialization” most children are learning to sit still and be quiet, not how to politely and properly interact with others.  Socialization is taught at home, or should be; however children are schooled.  Socialization is about learning to interact with the world, it’s also what and how we learn from others around us.  It can be natural, planned, negative and positive.  I hope my children will experience each type, but I would hope that the learning and the “socialization” they experience and receive at home and through parental guidance would affect and stimulate the socialization they receive elsewhere.  I could go on and on.

Today was gorgeous and so we dropped all plans for schooling and have been outside ALL DAY!  Consequently both little boys are now sound asleep.  I love these days.  It will snow again soon and then we will catch up.  We are already onto so many “first grade” subjects, so I don’t worry one bit.  And part of me wishes to bring my other two home to enjoy the laziness and delightful spring weather.  I have big plans for the summer, things we are going to do and learn together, and yet I remember how towards the end of last summer I was so ready to have school start.  So I am a see-saw schooler I suppose!

I watch a little boy in the mornings and take him to school with my kids, or else send them out the door to walk or bike together.  The other day he was hesitating to leave and was having issues with his pants.  He had those fabulous adjustable waste pants and was fiddling with them, but in the process had pulled out both ends of the elastic, making them extremely loose.  He finally accepted my help and when I realized the issue, I told him he would have to take them off for me to get the elastic back in, so would he mind wearing a pair of one of my boys’ pants to school so I could fix them.  For some reason, the idea didn’t sit well with him, and so off he went walking to school HOLDING his pants up.  I thought about what a horrible day he would have with those pants, and I felt so bad for him.   The next day I asked him how he dealt with the pants problem and he said it was fine when he was sitting in his desk (which was most of the day) but it was the worst recesses ever!   Small problem, but it made me think how that little boy needed to be home, that he needed his mother in the mornings.  I recognized that there is so much truth to the need for mothers to be at the crossroads of their children’s comings and goings.  I guess I’ve known and felt that for some time, but it took a pair of pants to teach it to me so that I really know and feel it.  Some random thoughts.

Spring

We moved to this snowy state in the summer.  On my birthday, to be exact.  That same day I heard my very own doorbell ring for the first time, and received my very first delivery here.  It was a birthday present; a housewarming gift; a goldfish plant from a dear friend.  The timing was perfect in so many ways.  That plant has sat in my home from day one and I love the life that it brings into my home and the memories it holds of my friend, our move, and my life here.  However, the only problem with this plant is me.  I have killed my fair share of plants, and I have been determined to learn about this plant and keep it alive - at least until one day in the far off future when my friend who gave it to me comes across the country to visit and see that I kept it alive!  I called the florist where the plant came from to learn first what kind of plant it was, and then how to keep it alive.  I followed the brief instructions religiously, only to find that the beautiful goldfish flowers eventually dried up and fell off.  I was devastated that the entire plant would soon be history.  So I researched what to do.  And mostly found that there most likely wasn't much I could do.  The plant was "hibernating" per say.  I laid off on the watering, and hoped for the best.  Mr. Man was convinced it wouldn't survive this cold climate, but it kept growing, just not flowering.  About a week ago I noticed one small orange flower, and now there are two.  I can't tell you what this means to me.  If this plant can survive a winter here (under my care) then I can too!  My herbs are growing as you watch (so quickly) and there are buds on the trees we planted last fall.  There is still snow in my backyard, and a chance of snow through June I am sure, but my goldfish plant lives!  I've since started researching gardening in the rocky mountains, and have books galore, seminars I'm going to take, and a fresh notebook (one of my most favourite things) ready to fill with my knowledge and plans for our flower and vegetable gardens.  Spring is such a pleasant promise, and a genuine gift from God.  And it makes me happy.

Highlight

A little over a year ago I got a phone call from a lady at the YMCA.  Little E was doing a preschool class there and, as poor students, we had applied for and received a scholarship so that we didn't have to pay the full fee.  The lady informed me that they were working on their fund raising campaign and were impressed with my comments on my scholarship application and wanted to interview Little E and I and also take some photos for advertising.  I couldn't recall what I had written exactly, but given the fact that we felt blessed to have the scholarship, I quickly agreed to the interview and photo shoot.  Little E loved every minute of it, and it was a perfectly adorable little interview and he is so incredibly photogenic, I waited to see the flyers and pamphlets they promised would use our quotes and pictures.  The lady in charge sent me several different write-ups so I could edit/correct mistakes, such as Mr. Man's name being completely changed.  And yet I never saw any of it in print.  Yesterday in the mail a dear friend sent the following advertisement with our faces on it!  We no longer live there, and who knows what else we may be endorsing in the years to come!  Little E is beyond thrilled that he has been in the newspaper, and wearing his spiderman sweater the same day this came in the mail was a real highlight as well.

March Madness

March is so unpredictable.

(March 2009)

(March 2008)

I guess we'll just have to take each day at a time.

Old Journals

I was asked to give a little synopsis on my journal writing experiences at a Relief Society Meeting  last night, and also to put some of my childhood and childrens' journals on display.  Can I just say how much I HATE getting up and talking in front of people.  Ugh.  So I was bright red (I'm sure), voice quivering, and practically hyperventilating, but I did it.  I would much rather have written something and had them all read it.  At any rate, I had fun pulling out old journals and wanted to share some of my favourite entries from my childhood.  (PS, I left the spelling as was!)

May 29, 1991

Saturday May 25, at night, I experienced the most wonderful thing in my whole entier life (I think.)  The experience I experienced was going to the movie theater for my first time.  I went with dad as a date.  I think because I was in a bad mood about moving.  Anyhow we watched "Wild Hearts Can't Be Broken."  It was wonderful, so wonderful that dad said when it comes on tape we're going to buy it.  I can't wait.  See you later bye!

Wednesday, April 12 1989
Work work work  I just love work most peoples hate work and love play I guase I am just not normal.  For the age of 8 1/2 I think that I do a pretty good job.

Thursday, April 13 1980
I can't wait t'ille I am old enought to go to the BYU university.  Me and Janeth Towndsende.

Sunday, May 7 1989
Oh! Oh!  Here comes C {little sister} into the puzles into the marker oh!  What can you do with a two year old sister?

Sunday, May 21 1989
Guess what just last thursday I wanted to make a surprise for mom all by my self because you might know she is pregnent with her fith child and she has flued in her legs and her vains are starting to show and the heaveryer the babby gets the worst mom gets so she's bed bounded.  So I wanted to make an extra specel surprise so I whent to the only room wher no one was whitch was the kitchien at that time.  So I sat down and started to think, I looked around the kitchen thinking I could bake or cook somthing.  Sonne I came acros to the recipie box and boy did that give me a great idea.  I jump of my chair and looked at the recipies.  I came acros deserts but most of them wher complicated and some we didint have all the ingredeants so I skipt a feaw.  I'll tell you the rest tomorrow or another day.  {never did... wonder what I made?!}

Saturday June 3, 1989
Today we we're robbed. 

Sunday June 4, 1989
Boy do I have a story to tell you.  Well yesterday me, T, A, and Dad were shopping and droping off things and picking up things and going all over town and finaley we picked up a pakage of lezonia and put it in the back and whent on our way soon we came to the super store to buy some stuf and Dad said put the lezonia on the floor so we did and whent in the super store and in about five munuts flat we came out.  And we were on our way to the Padezwas to give them some shoping so we got their and because the lazonia was in a shoping bag we gave it to the Padezwas thinking it was some of their shoping stuf.  And next we went to Valdis and my Dad said wher is the lazonia?  And we said I don't know and thought we were robbed and today we just found out the real stuf and the real story and had the lazonia for super and boy was it good.  {this entry took 4 pages of my journal!}

Tuesday, July 25 1989
Is'int this a lovely journal?  I love it very much it is also my favorit color uncounting yellow.  I got it from my uncle Max and my aunty Terry for my birthday and I chose it out because they gave me eight dollars to spend because I turnd eight years old.  The jurnal was $5.95 thats a bite expensive but I did not have a journal at the time.  Just now when I went to our naghbors Mrs. Short who is very old said that she had lost 50 dollars in a choclet box we were looking and looking but we did not find it.  Just then the spirit told me to look in one of her drwors so I asked her if I could so I looked in the draware and their it was the 50 dollors in the chocolet box.  She gave me 1$ for it.

Thursday, November 9 1989
I have the chicken pocks.  They are realy itchey.  When my Dad calld to see me he calld me chicken.  I have them under my hair and that hurts a lot lot lot.  I have the chicken pocks and me alone.  They are very itchey but I musst not itch them nop nop nop!

Sunday, November 1989
Today was our Primary Presentation.  To me I could so so what about it.  I will tell you the hole story if you promise you will not laugh.  Promise?  PROMISE!  I will tell you the true story tomorow in my journal entry.

Monday, November 20
Well it started out fine when I whent up.  But by the time it got closer to the time my talk got closer to do.  A few talks and songs before my talk I started up a plan to get awaey from my talk.  I would tell Sister Irvine/ our Primary President/ that I had a bad head ack and would like to go see my parents.  And that is just what I did.  But when I tried to tell Mom and Dad I had a headack I was to nervous and started to cry and that's when I got my headack.  I enentouley did do my talk with shaking knees.  I do this evry year and this year I decided not to be in it again.

90 02 11
Today is mom's birthday.  She loved her presents a hole lot.  Yesterday I did not write in my journal because I was interfeerd in some other things and also I was in a bad mood because my dad told me I could not get a walkman for many reasons but the one the most imporante is that it could get my ears rooned.  I'm already a bit deaf.

90 04 02
Today is a p.d. day.  I ust to tell my parents that p.d. stood for perfetional dad now the jokes to old.  Now I'm going to tell you parts important parts of my good wonderful day.  I got up ate breakfast and all that other stuff dad walked to work but in the midlle of the walk it started to pour rain like crazy.  So of course he phoned and asked iwe we could bring him some nice warm dry cloths and of course we did.  Than we came home, washed up a bit went to Canadian Tier to the Library got two videos and a whole bunch of books and than went to pick up a friend of mine named Janeth.  We all came home Janeth and I played college, work, and post office it was lots of fun aspecilly with the popcorn and apple cider we had with it whille playing.  Than ate lunch ran some errands picked up T from the Bunts hoe and droped Janeth and I off at Sister Terri's house "she's my primary teacher" for a rehearsal of our class presentation witch is Sunday the eighth of April "this coming week."  We didn't just reherse we ate, we sang, we playd, and we got to know each other more.  When we sang I Stand All Amazed Sister Terri cried and for the first time in a long time my testemony seed grew bigger.  Bye now!

Sunday, Nov. 18, 1990
I just closed my journal and lied to my mother saying I just wrote a lot in my journal.

Thursday, Dec. 6 1990 (age 10)
Today Nick asked me out again.  I wonder if he's go the point that I'm not going to go out with him.  He went a little to far today.  You know what he did, he came running towards me with his arms stretched out, he was trying to hug me.  When I saw him coming I rn like crazy yelling NO NO NO.  Then when a girl asked him out he said no ran to me and said I give up you'r ethe girl for me.  I ignored him.  I'm glad I chose the right.  I hope matters don't get worse.

Thursday, Dec. 11 1990
Today A (little brother) cracked his head and had to get stitches.  I felt sorry for him but not any more, he got to go to McDonalds and have fries, and chocolat milk shake, Mom bote him a connectable and dad bought him a chocolate snowman.  "No fair!"  I guess I was wrong.  Mom just explained.

December 29, 90

Last night I had a dream that I was sitting on a gold bench with Dad's mom who died at his birth.  I was wearing a lovely pink dress and she was wearinga  lovely blue dres.  Then a bunch of relatives (from dad's side) came over and complemented me on how much I look like her. 
Then I woke up.

Today when our family went to Uncle Pat and Aunt Laird's I overheard Pat say to dad how much I look like his mom.  (Pat's Dad's uncle".

March 3, 1990
Today I would like to tell you about an experience I had yesterday.  Well it all started when I was having a lot and I mean a lot of trouble with my piano practice, so if you know me I got all upset and started saying things like; I hate this piano, or I'm going to quit, and I wish I were dead.  When I said I wish I were dead, Mom took me to dad to have another talk about my atitude.  Boy was I a cry baby then.  Dad was saying things about me I had no idea bout.  Then he had me say a prayer but I didn't want to at the time.  It must have taken me hours before I finally could.

no date
Today wene the fone rang I went to answere it I did not know who it was.  The personne said: Is this the (maiden name) home?  And I said: yes.  And the personne said: I am th epolice and your father is in jail and he talked to Mom he was lafhing.  It was really Roger Lamsden.


Thanks for indulging me.  Some of the picture journals (ages 3-6) really crack me up.  But I'll save you from any more entries for today!

And then he waved

Right after school today I sent Mr. T with a friend to go to his wrestling class (a whole other post, and a huge regret of mine), and then we whipped over to get to Little E's gymnastics class.  I am one of the few crazy mother's who stay for the entire time, and also the only one who didn't do the "smart" (but also expensive) thing and sign up all my kids for a class at the same time; meaning I have other kids with me for a whole hour and a half to "watch."  I was prepared.  I brought snacks, a small collection of interesting and long-forgotten toys, sharpened pencils to do homework, and baby wipes - a new obsession of The Toddler's.  I was also a teeny bit over-zealous and brought a new book I had picked up at the library this morning for myself.

First we tackled homework with the third grader while The Toddler snacked and swung on the off-limit bars.  Then about 8 trips to the bathroom (with 7 false alarms), 6 trips to the drinking fountain, and a bonk on the head with a goose egg later, I told The Toddler I was done.  We weren't going to get up from our seat any more and we were just going to either watch brother or the clock - his choice.  My little smartie pants, who uses potty time as a way to get my attention, then told me he was going to go poop in his underwear.  We hurried to the bathroom yet again only to have him say, "No poop is coming this time."  I carried him like a football back to our seats, grimacing.  Then I sat him down, read a sentence (the same sentence I'd been reading all day) then grimly put my book away so I could help him gather all the toys he had so quickly chucked all around the other observers.  While bending over, I happened to glance up through the crowds of parents and gymnasts to see my Little E doing his adorable little wave at me.  So I squatted and watched him.  That's what I was there for.  I gave him a thumbs up when he did a perfect backwards somersault.  He gave me a double thumbs up.  I grinned away at him as he turned after each accomplishment to see my reaction and to wave.  Right there in that crowd of seemingly perfect parents, sitting on the dirty floor, I started to cry.  I clapped the next time he looked.  Then a double thumbs up for my guy.  He winked at me, and so I winked back.  And those few precious moments made that entire rigamarole of an hour and half in a non-but-ideal situation perfectly ideal and precious.  And I never could have prepared myself for that.

Keeping House

I was raised in a very clean home.  I have many memories of the extensive chore charts, and lists of chores we had to do: morning chores, evening chores, Saturday chores, Roomopoly (a job game my parents created) for summer chores. All strictly observed.  I can picture my Mom easily with a broom in her hands, a bucket and sponge nearby, on her hands and knees scrubbing, or in the garden weeding.  Don't get me wrong, I have many memories that don't involve chores or work, but in my recent house keeping evaluations these tend to stick out more than usual. 

Despite a small lapse in my teenage years, I am a particularly neat and clean person.  Cleaning isn't exactly enjoyable to me, but it's something I can have control over (in some sense) and I love living in a clean home.  It's important to me.  And it's important to my husband.  I have a system I've had for years that works for me: certain jobs get done on certain days of the week, and there are random extra jobs that get done each month and many larger jobs left for a time known as "spring cleaning".  And spring is in the air.

I've pulled out my spring cleaning checklist and adjusted it to meet our new home's needs, and in taking inventory of what needs to be done, I've realized there are many things I used to clean more regularly that I just don't anymore.  Truth be told, I am becoming a little less anal about how clean we keep our home.  The fridge has been cleaned once since we've moved here, instead of once a month.  Now that my washer and dryer aren't in the kitchen and have their own little room with a door to hide them, well, they need a good cleaning.  And the kids' bathroom just doesn't get cleaned as much because 1)I'm not in there to see all the disgusting mess; 2) I have two other bathrooms to try to keep clean; and 3) it's disgusting.  My kitchen cabinets don't go all the way up, and so as soon as I moved in I swore to clean up there and lay tin foil down so that every few months I could just roll away the tin foil with all the dust and grime and lay down new tin foil.  That never happened.  The list goes on, my friends.  And my list is quite long.  Then there's the question of when to get it all done.  Not just spring cleaning but regular cleaning.

My days consist of loving four children and a husband, feeding all of the above, getting them to all their respective activities, reading to them, playing with them, buying everything they could ever need or want (running errands), getting outside with them, exercising, homeschooling, making sure our clothes, dishes and bodies are clean, rinse, and repeat.  By the end of the day, I don't really want to do a lot of cleaning... though I love mopping at night when little feet are sleeping and I know my floors can enjoy going a full 12 hours or so absolutely clean.  My toddler (and my cat) love to follow me around helping and getting in my way equally.    The kids do have jobs, and some of them are even more help than hindrance now.  I always tell Mr. Man you can tell we had a good homeschooling week when the house is a wreck, yet at the same point I can't concentrate on teaching when the house has zero order.  Finding a balance without feeling the guilt is always a quest.  I guess that's why it's good I occasionally have people over for dinner, or company come visit (my mother-in-law is coming later this week) and then I give the house a good scrub down.  Hopefully my children will learn to enjoy clean and order, and learn how to clean, but also remember that at this very minute there are crumbs on the table and floor from the cinnamon buns I made them for lunch, there are water droplets all over the windows from us playing and splashing in the hot tub, and every last pillow, sheet, towel and blanket is all over the family room with all the chairs in a great creative fort and castle.  In all of my house keeping, I need to also keep it a home.

All in a Day's Work

About a hundred pages into the book I'm reading I actually started enjoying it.  I've grinned, laughed, cried and felt deeply about the people in this fictional diary.  It's made me appreciate so much about my own life too, and to really feel for the times that have gone before and the many courageous souls who suffered so much and yet found joy and happiness in the midst of their trials.

This morning felt like a trial to me.  In short detail, I took three sick kids to the doctors (for a couple of hours of course due to labs and lots of waiting), stopped for prescriptions, popsicles, ice cream and mini eggs for me, came home to put some down for naps, PMSed, changed a disastrous mess of poop out of underwear and pants, bathed, cried, tried to get a onery two year old down for nap and tried to read my book in peace.  Of course the first entry I read in the book was about the loss of a child due to sickness.  I marched my weary body and soul back up there to lay with my toddler, comforting and singing until he fell asleep.  Sarah Agnes Prine would think me a wimp, but I am learning from her and I am trying.  When I had really young kids there were mornings like today quite often, sick children abounded, and I've just been spoiled and the hit feels harder.  I am so spoiled.

Dear Journal

Just when I thought we were all better, we went to church.  Church was lovely, and needed, but the germs The Toddler picked up in nursery are not.  I hope the coughs won't persist long enough to merit a doctor's visit.  Which reminds me, I need to go in sometime to see if Little E has athsma.  Poor boy.  We shall see.  Little E lost his first tooth.  Seriously lost it.  His two bottom front teeth have been wiggly for a few months.  He is one of the non-wigglers in the family and refuses to touch them, asking me after lunch and while I read to him to do the job for him.  But he won't let Miss J near, she's a root breaker.  Anyways, we noticed recently that the grown ups had come in BEHIND his two wiggly teeth, creating a bigger wiggling cause.  One tooth was extremely wiggly, and on Sunday evening when we were reading stories and Mr. Man went in to do some serious wiggling, he noticed that the OTHER tooth was gone.  We think the pork chops for dinner may have done it and he just swallowed it.  The kids searched everywhere and then Miss J helped him write a letter about what happened and had Mr. Man and I sign it to verify the veracity of it.  The tooth fairy is very trusting.

Busy time of life right now.  Somehow all of the activities that the kids are doing collided into probably the busiest after-school nights of my life last week.  So not looking forward to high school for that.  Must look into the driving age here and start saving for cheap cars for them to drive themselves around in.  It's a lot.  And I don't even feel like we let them do a lot of extra activities.  This week isn't as bad, and we've been enjoying having our evenings again (even after just one night)- strange how much time the Olympics sucked out of our family, even though we were together watching them.  Our new favourite family activity is to play hide and go seek in the dark in the house.  Flashlights for The Toddler and "the seeker" but other than that it's pretty dark and very exciting.  I actually enjoy the peaceful quiet time when I'm hiding somewhere... as long as the cat isn't attacking me.

Mr. T woke me up yesterday a little too early, but his reason delighted me.  He ran in, excited to declare that he had heard birds chirping and that's what woke him up.  It's been nice and warm lately.  I can't believe 40-50 degree weather feels warm to me now!  And yet we've been going on more walks, playing tag, going to the park and letting the kids ride their scooters around the neighborhood.  I heard that the snow beginning to melt already means that we'll have a dry summer, but it's hard not to enjoy the here and now after such a long winter.  Plus it means I can spray paint soon.  We're going to plant some indoor herbs this week cause I just can't wait for planting season - which may not be till June here.  It's a good homeschooling project too, right?  Little E has thoroughly enjoyed the medal counting and is sad that it's done.  Will have to find something else to "keep track of."

I'm reading "These Is My Words" right now.  Not too far into it.  It's not a sit down and read it in one sitting kind of book for me, but I think I may enjoy it more if I did.  Only reading once or twice a week while I wait for kids in sporting activities isn't enough to really get in to it.  But it's better for my family that way!  I'm a horrible mother and wife when I get a book I love. 

I'm going to try my hand at french bread today and a lovely tomato basil soup for dinner.  We're going to try to get all these girl scout cookies delivered and out of the house before the kids cough all over them and we deliver something else as well.