Balancing & Blogging

I've come to the conclusion that balance in life is only attained when one limits the extent and experiences of ones life. Maybe not.  Perhaps others have found the secret to a full and balanced life. I prefer to believe that life's tight-rope walking is more about risk-taking and enjoying the view than actually getting from point A to point B.  It's about the walk; not necessarily the balance. At any rate, waiting until things have "calmed down" or life is "less hectic" to begin blogging again is never going to happen.  Who has time to record the happenings of a full life.  And yet, my family and I adore looking through old family photos, home videos, and re-reading stories and recordings of life's hectic happenings.  How can I not record, even an unbalanced record of sorts?

I am in a new season of life.  Gone are the days of newborns, toddlers and preschoolers.  Those tiny toes have been replaced with big stinky feet that just keep growing because they belong to hungry, happy, and huge babies of mine.  All my children are in school.  Two are in middle school.  One is headed to high school.  Each morning we all head off to our respective schools and spend at least 8 hours apart from one another.  This means we have a lot of catching up to do upon our re-gathering. And eating.  I have learned that growing children need food, a listening ear, and love.  Not much else.

Working full-time has brought a lot of understanding into our home.  I ache for my naive younger self who so misunderstood what my husband did and then came home too.  Our roles have been re-evaluated, not reversed, but definitely combined and shared.  My amazing husband is at a point in his career where it is possible for him, and he has made the personal choice, to take the time be the before and after school parent for our children.  In addition, he does all of the shopping, meal-planning and cooking.  I literally walk in from work each day and sit my butt down to a ready-made-warm meal at the table.  And yet, the minute I walk in the door, all I want is a moment to myself.  A moment, perhaps, to pee in peace.  I'm not ungrateful really, just tired.  He gets that.  Because that used to be him.  And as much as he used to try to explain to me the transition from work to home being difficult and loud and overwhelming, I didn't "hear" him.  I could not fathom it.  As a stay-at-home Mom I worked hard all day long and counted down the minutes until the father of my children would walk through the door and give me a break from parental duties, an adult perspective and conversation, and possibly a romantic kiss.  Were he to be even five minutes late, I would feel both intent and validated in my exasperation.  How could he possibly lose track of time, while I am cooking him dinner, maintaining his home, and tending his children?  Now the irony of it is that he will often call me and I will be shocked that the clock has fallen far past my designated departure and arrival time.  He is kind and patient with me.  Unlike my past accusations of imagined time-wasting activities, he knows I have been doing nothing but working.

So here is yet another attempt at blogging, but with full-admission to lack of balance.