Stitches

I have to laugh that it was, of course, on the very last day of Mr. Man's absence that we had our first stitches! Big J merely tripped on the sidewalk... but her knee was gashed open quite nicely! Four stitches later, my brave girl is doing much better and is proud to have joined Mommy and Daddy in the "stitches in our knees" club!


We are also glad to have Daddy joined back home with us!

Congratulations are definately in order!

When Big J was born not only was I quickly initiated into the realms of new motherhood, I also felt a substantial push to join a group I had never before considered: scrapbookers. I half-heartedly began compiling a book for her, cutting and pasting and using stickers of every shape and size. Amy was my scrapbooking buddy and we spent many a night watching Friends and racing to get our pages planned, prepared and perfected. Looking back at those 8 1/2" x 11" scrapbook pages, I am embarrassed at my absolutely horrible beginner attempt... and yet Big J constantly pulls out her book and treasures it more than anything. I decided I would grace my children with a one year scrapbook and then I simply put their pictures in albums with written explanations beside.

When Mr. T came, I threw my heart into my scrapbooking and truly learned to enjoy it. Bigger pages, less stickers and more thought. Expecting another baby just 13 months after his birth kept me both inspired and working to finish his book so that I wouldn't forget the moments and memories.

Somehow life with three caught me off-guard and while I've kept busy, I haven't kept scrapping. I enjoy making cards a little more, and Little E's album has remained quite empty. When the other two pull their books out, he will often point to the baby pictures and ask if it's him. This is our biggest gap between children, and also my largest stall in completing a one-year album for my little one. However, hitting 35 weeks made me a bit frantic and I've been cutting, gluing and journaling my heart away! Little E may be just over 3 years old, but his one year scrapbook is finally complete! The little guy is thrilled to have his special book, and honestly, I'm thrilled to be done!!!

For a couple of months I can enjoy the break in both diapers and scrapbooking!
I'm considering online scrapping for this fourth one!

Some thoughts on sleeping with people...

When I think about who I slept with last night, not only am I full of regrets – as we didn’t even wake up together, I am also covered with bruises and contusions. Lately I’ve been sleeping with all sorts of people other than my husband – all of whom are related to me. Last night it was Big J. That girl just keeps rolling and rolling, her arms and legs flailing and kicking as she goes. I was slapped in the face, kicked in the stomach and at one point all the contents on Mr. Man’s bedside table were whipped onto the floor in one foul swoop of the accused arm. At first I would lovingly move her over, stroking her hair out of her face and whispering that I loved her and needed her to stop kicking me. Soon push turned to shove, and I knew that in order to save what was left of our relationship, I would need to finish the night out on the couch.

A few nights ago I awoke feeling a little squished and literally on the very edge of the bed. At first I thought it was due to the dozen or so pillows I use to keep my leg propped and my body in at least a state of believable comfort. Nope. Instead all my children had at some point crawled into bed with me and completely snuggled into me. Little E is the sneakiest and nuzzles so near that you almost think it’s just your arm. Mr. Man has awoken many a morning in the past thanking me for the back rub that ultimately was his son trying to knead him awake with his little feet!

Last week I had Mr. T and his fever in bed with me. I could feel the heat off of his little body, and if he weren’t so warm I would have found more of the humor behind his outbursts and hallucinations. I suppose you could say we “didn’t” sleep together.

Several weeks ago when my sister was here, I slept with her little 4 month old in our room as a nice reminder of the numerous awakenings that will continue after the pressure on my bladder has been relieved. My sister and I slept on my bed and never did a single body part touch… we were glued to our sides! She reminded me of days when we were much younger and on family vacations where we stayed in hotels I would kick and push and she hoped I had changed. The truth escaped my lips, and I asked her if she remembered what happened shortly after those experiences. She did. From that time on, I always got my own bed, because my reputation had surpassed me and nobody would dare sleep with the kicking devil. I’m surprised nobody had figured me out, but I can completely remember staying up and purposely wreaking havoc, tossing and turning so that I would be able to get my own bed!

Truly I love sleeping all by myself. I love the covers tucked in as tight as can be. The fan turned on full-blast, and the sheets fresh everyday! Mr. Man hates when I suggest we get two single beds so that I can have my own… but truth be told, I am missing sleeping with him. It makes me wonder if my daughter will ever be co-sleep worthy. Is it something you grow into, a skill you develop, do you have to find the right person to sleep with? Regardless I’m tired. Tonight I don’t think it will matter whom I sleep with… and only 2 more sleeps till my real sleeping partner returns and kicks everyone else out!

Single Parenting Revolution

I have always held a deep respect for those who have to parent single-handedly these tiny human beings who demand so much and deserve all the love they can get. Every time I am forced to be a single parent for short periods of time, my respect turns to amazement and wonder and truly I label some of you amazing single parents as saints. I don’t know how you do it. Never having that morning off to sleep in, not having someone to turn over bedtime to on one of those days… I know I’m not the only “single-parent” shedding the occasional tear and praying for relief. I admire your dedication to this clearly insurmountable task.

And yet sometimes I think it would be easier to be a single parent if I actually were one. It seems that every day I am reminding three young prodigies of their role and my role – and the fact that they differ, and I get to be the mom right now. How do you curb the bossiness of the eldest “mother” all the way down to the demanding three year old? Yes I need their help now more than ever… but honestly, will my home ever be the same? Why am I no longer the only one using middle names or quoting our family rules? The other day when I was reminded to get my elbows off the table, I immediately worried about mutiny. So my hat goes off to you who are able to preserve some form of parental authority within a single-parent home. Currently our status is comparable to anarchy. Yes in a week the commander in chief will return, but then shortly the odds will turn as we add another little boss to our ship! Wish me luck!

Summer is Heating Up

Yesterday we celebrated the first day of summer! Yeah! This week has brought with it a different kind of heat as Mr. T has been battling another of his long-term fevers. Monday night’s high was 105.7 – so instead of hitting the pool or being outside, we’ve been enjoying lots of movie watching and popsicles on the inside. Big J started her art camp this week and is LOVING it! I think she picked a very appropriate summer camp, as it is the perfect outlet for my little creative firecracker.

While I’m exhausted from nights of keeping Mr. T’s fever as low as possible, we’ve all been enjoying having Mr. Man’s 15 year old sister here to help out and play all day long. I am very much considering a live-in nanny now! However, I would require a driver’s license in the future J We’ve also been very spoiled with meals coming in every night this week. Tonight we were preparing for tacos and yet when a car drove up Mr. T ran to the window saying, “I think our dinner’s here!”

The countdown is now on till our new little guy makes his entrance as I’m 34 weeks! We have a cabin booked for the second week in July, and my doctor suggested getting my deposit back now, as he wasn’t comfortable with us being up in the woods so close to my due date. We’re not quite as concerned, since I doubt I would deliver 3 weeks early, however we are using this as another excuse to purchase our first cell phone!

Everyone is now in their beds and I’m looking forward to a lazy Saturday morning filled with cartoons and waffles! The kids grew excited when I reminded them at bedtime that they could watch cartoons in the morning – you see they equate that tradition with Daddy. One more week…

Pee On; Pee Off

Mr. Man and I have explored several different titles for this post. From “This little piggy goes wee wee wee” to my inappropriate “Pissed Off”… I finally settled on the above. This is a true account and makes me just a “wee” bit nervous about adding a third boy to my two.

Last night after putting the boys to bed (after giving Little E another bath and changing his PJs since he had run off to hide and do his poop in his underwear after convincing me he absolutely did NOT need to wear a pull-up to bed anymore) I was sitting downstairs and could hear the pitter patter of little feet. Annoying little feet which should be fast asleep. I hollered up for those little feet to run in the other direction directly to their beds. Mr. T yelled back (yes, I’m creating wonderful habits) that he had to go pee. After which I heard him telling his little brother to get out of the bathroom because he needed his “privacy”. Then came a hushed, yet insistent, whisper: “Get out of here NOW! I have to pee and I need my PRIVACY!” Next I heard the steady ream of a full bladder being emptied, and I too felt relieved to know he was doing this now rather than in the middle of the night. The noise stopped for an instant and then resumed. Strange. Then the shouting. Little E was furious and yelling over and over, “HE PEED ON ME!” Could it be? Would my sweet little boy actually do such an utterly disgusting thing?

I ran up there, dragging my bad leg behind me, and asked Mr. T if he had done such a thing. However, he had wisely disappeared. I looked at Little E and the answer was obvious. I threatened Mr. T out of his hiding spot where he quickly claimed innocence. One step into the bathroom and I had even more evidence to the contrary. Urine was EVERYWHERE! Apparently the pause was simply a shift in direction. “YES YOU DID PEE ON HIM!” I yelled. But even more importantly, “WHY?!!!” The answer seemed obvious to my four year old, and I truly think he thought it validated the act, “He didn’t give me any privacy, so I peed on him.”

Little E was changed into his third pair of pjs. Mr. T had to help clean up the mess. And life went on. They went to bed, with my preaching of, “We don’t pee on people!”

Mr. Man (who is once again a million miles away) laughed hysterically, and wants to know if Little E will give him privacy now. My sister-in-law says this reminds her of her brothers. And my mother-in-law says that this is a normal four year old reaction and not to worry, but to try to curb the habit before they hit their twenties and it’s no longer excusable.

Tonight the pitter patter was again heard, and my first holler consisted of – “Don’t pee on anyone!” I think it may be time for a new family rule. At any rate, I’m a little more excited that for at least the first two years, my new little guy will be confined to a diaper!

Family Building

My sister brought us a fun little building project that I put Mr. Man and the kids up to this morning. It was a tool box, and everyone really got into it - I think we're going to need to do more building projects together! Mr. Man is talking about building a house.... I'm thinking more along the lines of a birdhouse for now!!!
Little E had his own ideas about how the pieces should be glued and nailed together... he got out his glue stick (notice the blue) and really went to town!

After the building was complete, we of course had to paint our tool box! Hindsight says we should have stripped down the kids before they undertook this activity, but instead we had to strip them down and hose them after the fact!


Fun times!

He Made It!

A little after 3am Mr. Man made it through the front door in time for 3 hours of sleep before the kids awakened us with cheers and cries for cartoons! What a reunion! We are now spending a relaxing – though very productive – weekend together trying to catch up on all that hasn’t been done and prepare for our trip to Kansas next week. It is beyond me how much having this man in my house and in my presence makes me feel so secure, so happy and so utterly and completely loved. How I have been smiling!!!

Mr. T (middle with pink brace) had his last t-ball game yesterday. (We’ve missed about half his games due to his fevers – from his Trevor’s disease - and my inability to get him there.) It took a lot of convincing, but he finally made it on the diamond and had a great time! We all enjoyed cheering him on, and I was so glad that his Daddy could be there to help him and motivate him. Later, after Mr. Man cleaned my house, ran my errands and made my lunch, we went to the pool to relax. The pool is definitely our family friend… everyone enjoys it and though I’m not getting my recommended 6 hours a day, my tan is starting to look rather good!!!

Last night, after I had a nice long nap – during which time Daddy bathed all three kids and put them to bed – I decided to attempt to deep-clean our microfiber couch – which has gotten filthy and has been staring at me from across the room just begging me to clean it. On the floor, with my foot up, I tried several recommended processes (from hours of online research) and ultimately was relieved to find that my Bissell did the best job ever! I just did the cushions for now, and they look oh so beautiful! When I have a little more standing time, I’ll be anxious to do the rest of the couch.

So I have my man, and my clean couch… and my list of nostalgia from last summer makes me realize how truly blessed I am to be where I am this summer – even though it’s from a rather difficult position. Pray for low estimates on our van repairs and a safe and fun family trip to Kansas… with no early baby!

Your love is better than ice cream...

Today we bid farewell to my sister and her baby girl.
My kids adore her, and she will be missed!

Unfortunately, due to inclement weather and flight delays, Daddy may not be making his grand appearance this weekend. I think I'm the most distraught over this news. A bit of ice cream and peeking in on my sleeping angels is getting me through though... aren't they adorable?!


The ice cream isn't bad either!

We miss you Mr. Man!

Stranger than Fiction

Another event took place today that only testifies to my doctor’s insistence that I be on bed rest. In fact, I’m starting to think I should probably just not get out of bed in the morning at all – and maybe life will go a bit smoother. Not to bore you with all the intimate details of my life, and mostly because I prefer to internalize them and take out all my frustrations in my journal which then enables me to lightly scope out a pretty picture of my life online----but I do have admit that I had my first car accident today. And the other vehicle was parked too.

We were on our way to the pool (which I actually never even got in because I was so shaken up) and just in backing out of my parking space with a little too much enthusiasm, I hit a parked truck. I got out of my nice new van, after uttering some choice words, and walked over to the truck and its owner (a construction worker who has been working on the siding on our building the last week or so) and thrust at him all the contents of my glove box (first aid kit and all) apologizing profusely and telling him to take my insurance information… blah blah blah. Mostly I was bawling. It was a final straw to a ream of overwhelming emotions and I let loose on this poor man. He was so nice and said he was pretty sure the headlight had already been smashed and that the scratches didn’t look fresh and that basically it was an old work truck and he didn’t think I’d done any damage. I knew he was lying and I bawled at him to please just ignore all my crying and just take down my information, because I wasn’t trying to get out of this and I was just a stupid emotional pregnant lady. That started him apologizing. About my van, about my kids in the car – yes all my kids and my sister’s four month old. Basically I walked away with the hiccups that come after nonsense crying, and not having to pay for this man’s truck to be fixed. My van will be another story. The trunk won’t open, and that’s just the beginning. Pictures will not be shown and neither will future estimates be shared. This is not the sort of thing a wife looks forward to explaining to her husband on their once a day phone conversation late at night. Mr. Man is wonderful and loving and can I just say again how wonderful he is?! (The man took my Oma and her boyfriend out to dinner last night all on his own accord – how absolutely sweet is that?!) The kids are counting down the sleeps until he is home for a visit between his work weeks, and they now want to know that since the new van is broken if they can eat in it now!

So life.

I’m not over this silly day yet and I still may burst into tears if any of you bring this up to me. But I may also burst into tears if you tell me I look nice in my maternity swim suit, or that my kids are well-behaved. Who knows. I’m an emotional wreck. I stink.

My sister and I rented “Stranger than Fiction” tonight. Mr. Man and I loved this movie. It has the numbers for him and the literary aspect for me (Staggs – you may like this too!). What gets to me is this line, and if you don’t want the movie spoiled, you may not want to read it:

“It’s a book about a man who doesn’t know he’s about to die and then dies. But if the man does know he’s going to die and dies anyways, dies willingly, knowing he could stop it, then… I mean, isn’t that the type of man you want to keep alive?”

I LOVE this line. And while some of you may question my negativity in ending my posts on a somewhat positive light, I needed this line again today. It distinguishes to me the reality of our Savior’s love for me, for all of us, and it enables me to think of Him as really the most awesome hero that could ever be – both in reality and in literature. It makes my experience today no less horrible to me, but it makes it part of a bigger picture, one in which a man was kept alive so that I can live now, and forever.

If I can just get through today…

Kindergarten Graduation

Kindergarten graduation … what can I say? I was the pregnant Mom on the front row (with her foot up in the air) bawling her eyes out! Why is this such a big deal? They sang a few songs, the teachers and principal spoke for a few brief minutes and then they got their certificates. The songs were fun and made everyone else around me laugh, and here I am dabbing at my eyes, not even attempting to hide the alligator tears making their way from my chin to a direct hit on my belly. My little girl is growing up!
(Everytime people cheered or clapped, Little E would cover his ears - he has a double ear infection, but he also HATES loud, unexpected noises, and was rather upset about the whole ordeal!)
Life has been full of adventures again as of late. Mom has been a miracle worker and I think I’ve shortened her life span by at least 10 years. We’ve had everything from puking, to diarrhea , potty accidents, major temper tantrums, double ear infections, a dentist appointment where I almost passed out (another great memory and story!) and so forth. Today was a fun “last day of school” and we started some new traditions. We had, for breakfast, waffle ice cream sandwiches. I grew up with these on the last day of seminary with my seminary teacher and the kids were thrilled – though Mr. T got a brain freeze at breakfast! We had chocolate milk with lunch and later after speech therapy we hit the pool for some swimming and obeying of my doctors’ orders! Grandma then treated us to McDonalds as the thought of washing any dinner dishes was too much after such a long day!
(With her teacher)
(The bench we spent hours on this year, as the boys and I walked to school - with our wagon usually - and waited for Big J to be let out of class)

Mr. Man, always THE man, had flowers delivered for Big J and they are gorgeous and just what she needed to feel extra special on her last day of kindergarten. She was so nervous about her graduation and kept saying she hoped she wouldn’t cry in front of everyone. She kept talking to Mr. T about how wonderful he had done at his preschool recognition ceremony and how could he not have been nervous. Mr. T was so cool about it and kept telling her it was no big deal and she’d be just fine. She was! Afterwards she said the blessing at our lunch and she thanked Heavenly Father for giving her the strength to not cry and be happy at her graduation. What a special sweetheart I have!

Slip 'n slide

Apparently we kept our sprinkler on in the same location a bit too long - we created a giant mud puddle which the kids turned into a slip 'n slide! They had sooooo much fun, but it was really disgusting too! These pictures really don't do the event justice ... summer has begun!

Dinner Conversation

We had carrot cake for dessert this evening and after everyone had a slice and there was one remaining, Mr. T starting his subtle requests for more. I explained that everyone had had a slice except the baby, and so the last piece was for Mommy to eat so that the baby could have some too. He wasn’t too thrilled with my response, so I promised him that whenever he was pregnant I would make him a whole carrot cake to eat all by himself. Grandma asked him if that would ever happen and he gave the most sour expression you have ever seen! (I don’t think I make being pregnant look too enjoyable!) Then Grandma turned to Big J next and asked her if she would ever be pregnant, her response nearly made me choke: “Yes, of course! Only girls can be pregnant… the boys lay the eggs!”

Mr. Man and I have finally made a decision about our baby's name, and so I've been starting to call him by his name so that the kids would slowly catch on. They are not too thrilled with our choice... Big J favors Prince Eric, and Mr. T would love to have a brother named Luke Skywalker (or just Skywalker if I'd rather!). Tonight at dinner we were discussing the fact that regardless, his name is his name and we could call him other things like, "cutie pie" or "sweet baby" but he does have a real name too. Little E is quite adament that he's NOT what we named him, but IS R2D2! He even brought me a picture of the little robot to make it clear what he was saying. I think we may have some surprises on our hands when this little guy makes his presence more felt in our family! For now we just have some rather interesting dinner conversations!

Story of my life...

It seems like all the “usual” life happenings have seemed a little exaggerated lately, given my condition from the couch. Regular childhood illnesses and accidents are a bit harder to deal with and my constant expression lately has been “story of my life”.

When Little E poops in his underwear… “story of my life”.

When Big J falls off her bike and I can’t run to her but have to wait for her to come crawling to me, “story of my life”.

Mr. T had what I thought was the worst pink eye I’ve ever seen over the weekend with green goup just pouring out of his eye – and would kick and scream while I attempted to sit on him and put the dreaded eye drops in… “story of my life” – and even more so when it turned out he had a sinus infection and the drops had been futile.

Mr. Man was gone for the weekend for his brother’s graduation, came back to spend Monday with us and left early early Tuesday to work for several weeks up in Canada. We were more than well taken care of over the weekend (my favorite was when a friend dropped by and yelled out for an explanation as to why I wasn’t in my “chair” – I was peeing!) and thankfully my Mom arrived Tuesday evening, so it has been Grandma to the rescue since!

Yesterday evening was Mr. T’s recognition ceremony for preschool. We were all dressed up and ready on time and Grandma was driving so I was attempting to get out of the house and enjoy the evening with my leg up elsewhere. Literally minutes from the preschool, Little E started throwing up and throwing up and throwing up. Again, my response as I turned to my Mom, “story of my life”. Big J started bawling, feeling horrible for Little E and worried we wouldn’t be able to see Mr. T “graduate” now! However, Grandma came to the rescue and dropped us off, took Little E home to clean up and returned just as we exited to taxi us home. I was sorry she had to miss it, as it was such a wonderful night, but grateful nonetheless that the entire evening hadn’t been completely ruined for everyone.

Trying to clean up all the puke all over the car was another story… but we all survived and Little E woke up today just fine.

To give you an idea of what my leg feels like these days, I can only describe the constant ache as the worst period cramps of your life all the way down your leg to just below your ankle. Sometimes it’s worse; mostly at the end of the day. If I’m up it’ll feel like I have the biggest poop in the world to rid myself of- even though I don’t. In some ways it feels like I’m ready to push this baby out! This morning after taking a shower, I was throbbing and when one of the kids’ wet face cloths fell down into the tub I looked down because with how I was feeling I wouldn’t have been surprised to have seen that I had given birth to my baby. Strange feelings… it’s not normal! “Story of my life”!

After the game...

Raising My Spirited Child

When Big J wasn’t quite so big, I was scouring bookshelves everywhere for help with raising such a strong-willed child. I came across “Raising Your Spirited Child” by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka on my mother-in-law’s shelf and asked to borrow it. The irony was that she had been wanting to give it to me for some time but didn’t know how to without interfering or making me feel badly about my parenting skills or Big J. This book saved me. It helped me feel less alone and had some fabulous ideas to put into use. It was the kind of book I could pick up and read for a few minutes and come away feeling better, with renewed understanding of my daughter’s “spirit” and more positive about working with her. There are still several ideas from that book that we use with Big J.

With Mr. T I haven’t really needed to consult ANY parenting books! Not that I’m a pro by any means, but mostly because he is just such an easy-going “normal” child! He has been mellow from the beginning and rarely causes me to worry about his behavior – he is a genuinely nice kid and I’m grateful.

Little E has been a challenge from the beginning. We call him our bi-polar child, as he is either utterly happy or completely angry – just so extreme – and he moves from one spectrum to the other in a matter of mili-seconds! In my attempt to not sell him on ebay (sorry Mom!), I’ve been reading all my books and especially the spirited child bible once again. While he is different in many ways from Big J, this book has once again given me what I need to parent my child. It has definitely lightened my load and even brought a few humorous moments into our home.

Little E will often ignore anything we may be saying or asking him to do. He simply looks away and refuses to acknowledge our presence. The “Book” recommends doing all you can to help your child make eye contact (yes, hello, I know this) but then gives encouragement and silly ways to gain that eye contact and ultimately acknowledgement and obedience from your child. Apparently young children truly believe that if they can’t see you, you can’t see them. So the goal is to convince your child that though they are choosing not to see you, you can still see them and they can still hear you. One suggestion is to go up behind them and tickle their ears saying that while you can’t see their eyes, you can see their ears and so you know they can hear you. This worked once, and then Little E would simply cover his ears. So I tried with his other senses and body parts and now I can easily get him laughing enough to look at me, at which time he is CAUGHT and has to listen! But we’ve also created a crazy monster who is obsessed with the fact that even though he can’t see us, we can see him – it is a game for him, and I think he is truly amazed! He will lay on the floor covering his eyes while I describe what the rest of his body is doing and he is shocked! I really can’t put into words how funny he is and how hysterical his laughter gets when I magically announce that his legs are crossed or that he is smiling! At any rate I’m learning to enjoy more of the problems and perks of raising a spirited child!

If you chance to meet a frown…

Why not let it stay?
Most are too quick to turn it upside down and fake that smile all day!
(my take on the Primary song!)

So I’m down. It’s official. Last week I kept putting off blogging all sorts of commemorative items, such as Little E’s third birthday, my official one year anniversary of sharing intimate details of my life online, a fun night of a bunch of friends (and ALL their kids) making me over a dozen meals to freeze for when Mr. Man is gone, Mothers Day… and so forth. Now it feels like it’s too late, and that’s okay.

I’m challenged at what to write lately, and while I have been filling page after page in my journal, this blog has remained the same for over a week. Much has transpired. I feel uncertain about a lot of my own feelings. I’m unsure if my outlook is too negative when expressed in writing, and I’m complacent about all the upside happenings too. I feel like everyone I know seems to be having really horrible things happening in their lives and to them right now, and I can’t get off my butt to help at all – and yet I’m whining about my predicament. I feel ungrateful and a bit down about life and circumstances in general.

I’m tired of being needy. I’m tired of having help and not being able to help anyone else. I hurt. My leg aches and the pain is increasing and it’s not fun. I yell at my kids. I cry a lot. And I’m scared to death that this emotional wreck that has become me is going to suffer from severe postpartum depression once again. I keep counting down this whole bed rest thing by the week, but I fear I may be a wreck after giving birth too – or else some major trauma with the baby – I don’t know… I’m being completely illogical and totally paranoid, but I just want to feel normal and myself again, and get out and get some fresh air.

So instead of faking it, I’ve just been mostly avoiding it. Now I’m just going to spare you most of the “I feel” details that bore my husband each night to pieces and share a fun thought from a rather interesting, though colourful book I just finished reading. The author is sharing her thoughts about a poem, and I needed to read this last week:

“It got me thinking. It was about how while we are on earth, our limitations are such that we can only see the underside of the tapestry that God is weaving. God sees the topside, the whole evolving portrait and its amazing beauty, and uses us as the pieces of thread to weave the picture. We see the glorious colors and shadings, but we also see the knots and the threads hanging down, the thick lumpy patches, the tangles. But God and the people in heaven with him see how beautiful the portraits in the tapestry are. The poem says in this flowery way that faith is about the willingness to be used by God wherever and however he most needs you, most needs the piece of thread that is your life. You give him your life to put through his needle, to use as he sees fit.”

Nice isn't it. So ignore this post and hopefully this season will pass and I'll have something momentous, witty or inspiring to share another day. For now you can know that my thread is blowing in the wind, but that I'm grateful for the many of you whose threads are keeping mine at least somewhat connected to the real picture!

Type Pink Personality

I’m accepting a lot of help lately, as you can all imagine. I don’t enjoy it. I am actually at the point where I CRAVE sweeping my floor and am YEARNING to dust. I am dreaming up wonderful concoctions to cook that I never before felt like making and I suddenly yearn to be more than just a little physically active – I want to run and not be weary. But I can’t. And so while I am driving my husband to an early grave, for truly he has done EVERYTHING lately, I am also letting many dear kind souls into my home to bring me meals, mop my floor, clean my potty training disgusting bathrooms, do my laundry and more. Everyone has been more than kind and I have more offers than I know what to do with… so please take the following with a grain of salt… it amuses me.

Today one dear lady from our ward, who had taken a load of laundry off my hands this morning, called and immediately said, “You’re a type A personality aren’t you?” My speech slurred as the many jumbled thoughts in my head collided in an attempt to think up something cohesive and at least half-intelligent to reply (not very type A thinking, I’m assuming). I wanted to ask why? What in my laundry would make her think such a thing? Was there a sock missing now and she was assuming it was her fault? Did one of my many lists make it through a load and she was now finding it? Or had I already written her a thank you note and it had arrived before she had even cleaned my laundry? I said something like, “I used to be, but bed rest can change your personality quite a bit – why do you ask?” Apparently one of my boys’ pants had a tear and she thought I would probably want to stitch it up myself so that the thread matched completely, etc. etc…. and she listed a bunch of annoying habits that I assumed she labled me as having. Then she went on to explain how she would go about fixing the pants – as a non-type A personality. I told her that her way sounded great, but that since I was stuck in a stuck position I could easily stitch up the pants (though I would most likely leave them to deteriorate to a state of nothingness and then proceed to discard them). I also added, almost as an afterthought, that I don’t sew at all and so my “fixing” job would be much worse than the one she had described. “You don’t sew?!” my dear friend exclaimed, and suddenly I think I became human to her, or maybe less than. Regardless it was the break she needed and she simply said, “Well I’ll just stitch them through on the sewing machine real quick and bring them by in the morning. Have a nice night!” Strange.

Then there was the adorable girl who came to sweep and mop my floor the other week. While doing so she exclaimed such things as, “You must have really high standards”, “I don’t even remember the last time I mopped my floor” and “You must have had a stay-at-home Mom to think that this floor is dirty”… I really wish I could remember them all, but basically I started to feel badly for wanting my house to be a bit cleaner than the sticky-icky crumbly mess that I had to walk across in these increasingly-disgusting stockings to get to the bathroom 30 times a day.

In contrast, the quite older lady who came and SCRUBBED my kitchen, stated that she would just have to come back another day with some stronger cleaner and a much better scrub brush to finish cleaning my oven. OVEN? You mean I’m supposed to clean that periodically… not just when I move?

So it’s been interesting. Apparently I’m out of experience too, because today I had my very first PINK load of laundry. Saturday I stuck my back door mat (which is VERY red) in the washing machine. This morning I remembered it and, without looking, poored in some detergent and started the “small” load. Apparently, and I shouldn’t be surprised because this happens all the time, other items, very light colored items, had been added to the washing machine in the last couple of days… including some now unsalvageable khaki church pants and ta da – PINK LAUNDRY! Mr. Man took great delight in my mistake (mostly I think because none of HIS clothing were in there) and showed all the kids the PINK turnout, claiming that Mommy had found the secret button on the washing machine to turn everything pink. Big J LOVES all her new pink socks and shorts (and is thrilled I’ve FINALLY found that secret button), Little E thinks his pink undies (they are called undies, or even panties – now that they’re pink!) are a little strange, but on the whole we all had a good laugh. Mom is losing it, and there may be more than one reason why others need to take over the cleaning for a while!!!

So type A I am no longer. I’m now a definite type pink.

Doctor's Orders

I went to the doctor’s today – without my kids, so of course I waited a total of like 2 minutes versus the usual hour! It was a good visit and I came away chuckling about my adorable doctor. Granted he is probably nearing retirement and he looks exactly like Albert Einstein, he is, however, funny and comforting – two things I need in my life right now! My veins look good considering, and so no blood thinners for me at this point. We did talk over vascular surgeons, and if I have any swelling (none yet), redness or increase in numbness (this I have a lot of) I get to meet with one of them. My doctor made a few suggestions that I have to follow and a few crazy ones that I don’t know how on earth I could possibly attempt to try. I've been wearing my very-warm compression pantyhose every day, but I'm supposed to put them on first thing in the morning with my legs up in the air... I am sure I will need help with this as I can hardly touch my toes as it is! I am also supposed to lay on my back with my leg higher than my hip and heart as much as possible – this will limit my fantastic lazy-boy chair time and isn’t quite as “raising-kids” friendly. He also suggested being in waist deep water as much as possible – not swimming mind you, because that will increase my muscle use and blood flow, but just sitting in it for up to 6 hours a day. Yes, he said this! This cracked me up. I asked him what I was supposed to do with my kids while I’m just sitting there and not swimming while they drown each other? His next suggestion was that if I could just hang upside down the rest of my pregnancy that would be the ideal. This was a joke, meant to make the water concept not seem so far out of reach… but still… this is a bit crazy! I’ll be grateful when my Mom comes and then she can swim after my kids while I sit in the water for up to six hours and turn into some kind of prune!

Good news is I only gained 1 ½ lbs. in the last month – I was worried that without walking or exercise of any kind I would really start gaining. My record is 50 lbs with Little E and I would hate to surpass or even meet that amount again! Also I am officially in my last trimester – so yeah for me too! My baby looks great and besides my leg, the doc says I’m having just a superbly wonderful pregnancy – I’m glad somebody thinks so!

When all else fails...

post cute pics of the kids!

I'll probably end up sounding all whiny if I attempt to write something... instead here are some pictures from the boys' Peter Pan Pirate Party a few weeks ago. Yes, my leg is up... but we still handled all the little pirates and had a great time!