Last but not least

Three is my favourite age, if you don't know. It really is. I often tell mothers with screaming tantrum-throwing two year olds, how I love my babies until they're one and then I can't stand them again until they're three. Seriously. You could send them to the moon for those couple of years and then bring them back to me talking, potty trained, and rational (or at least more rational than 1-2). Three speaks to me: it's a time of discovery, growth, absolute hilariousness, and a great age to be my buddy. I've had three, three year old buddies so far, and now I have my fourth and final. But my gosh, this three year old is going to do me in. I don't know if it's because I'm old and tired now, but he just has so much energy, is so darn stubborn and strong-willed and just talks constantly all day long... to me. I find myself needing to be reminded that this is my favourite age. And really it still is, it just seems to be in a stronger dose this time.
I do love him, and I do love this age! How can you not?!
His most frequent line lately, "I don't tink so" (think)
He says it so slowly, as if he's really considering what has been said or asked, but then, after weighing all the options has decided on the negative. Really cute. Also sometimes annoying :)


Wish me luck with this adorable three year old!

Flexibly Rigid

Before starting school, I knew that one of the biggest changes for me would be the time deadlines. Assignments due here and now, exams, and classes that don't wait for a convenient time to start. Much of motherhood for me has been a flexible schedule. Yes, I enjoy setting schedules for myself and my little family, but really grocery shopping doesn't HAVE to be done on Wednesday... that is, unless we are completely out of bread, milk and eggs. Library books have due dates, but you can go online and renew them. And on the whole, many of my to-do lists are not screaming to be done RIGHT NOW! I can stop and smell the roses, and nobody is going to fire me from my job.

School felt different. Deadlines give me a rush, and in the past I have been known to allow them to creep up quickly in order to get my creative juices flowing. However, this semester's classes don't ask for much creativity - mostly just hard work, memorization and practice. And so far, I've met all of my deadlines within a large time period. Twice now, I've gone to hand in my assignments only to hear fellow classmates moaning and groaning and asking if that was really due today. The kind-hearted professors have immediately offered at least 2 day extensions. And I find myself thinking, "REALLY?! HOW IS THAT FAIR?" I guess I'm more rigid than I am flexible. And I admit I found great joy when the two day extension was up and still some students cried for more time and our teacher simply looked at them, acknowledged his previous leniency and then told them the time was up. HA!

Now knock on wood nobody gets seriously sick or worse and I have to go begging for an extension of any kind.

Homesick

Yesterday, after enduring a never-ending headache all day long, I curled up in the crook of my husband's arm to go to sleep. And suddenly I found myself crying. I don't cry very much. And when I do, I can easily put a feeling or reason to those tears. But last night it took me much longer to figure it out.

I had a wonderful friend and neighbor once who I envied for many reasons. She was always so even-keeled and happy. And being moody and unpredictable, I craved that. She once divulged that she cried often and almost had a good cry every night. And I remember thinking, well maybe that's the secret. She lets it all out, and somehow all my emotions stay tucked inside until...

So last night as I had tears flowing down my face I thought about how I was having a good-end-of-the-day cry. It was a release. And as soon as I acknowledged my tears, I could put a reason to them. I felt homesick. Homesick for my childhood home and simplicity, homesick for having a brand new baby and really no other cares in the world, homesick for old friends, homesick for family and celebrations and holidays past, homesick for my memories. And yet, unlike the regular sort of homesickness where you can easily hop on a plane or train or car and return home after an extended time away, I can't go back. Only forward. Acknowledging the memories and what I miss, and dedicated to making more. I can only imagine how much I will cry and how homesick I will be when I am an old lady, with great-grandchildren, sitting on my porch swing remembering. Now, off to make sure that amidst those tears I will also have a wrinkly old smile smothering my face.

What I've Learned...

After attending University for a whole week, I think I'm basically an expert on what is and is not cool on campus. So for those of you who are wondering (because like me, it's been a few years since you walked the walk on campus), or are preparing to return yourselves, let me enlighten you.

I've pretty much figured out what I need to do if I want to fit in. (But don't worry, I already know that I don't!) Here's what I've learned so far:

1. No matter what the temperature (even 40 degrees Fahrenheit), wear as little clothing as possible.
2. In terms of fashion, be sure to wear lots of spandex and university trademark clothing.
3. Don't, under any circumstances, smile at anyone you don't know as you walk to class.
4. While you're waiting for the class before you to get done, the smartest coolest look is to just stand there bored out of your mind. You could also try texting, or doing something ingenious with your cell phone. Do not look over your notes or review the chapter in your textbook. (That is, if you even bothered to bring it to class).
5. In class, don't ask any questions, and try to take as few notes as possible. Basically just sit there, half asleep. (Surely that old Mom next to you will lend you her notes when you need to catch up.)
6. Don't volunteer for any physics demos, or attempt to give an answer or ask a question.
7. Don't worry too much about the homework assigned. It's probably optional. If you do try, don't try too hard, because you can just ask your teacher (or the Mom sitting next to you) to explain it the next day.
8. Drink lots of coffee during class. That just oozes intelligence (not fatigue or hangover).
9. The trees on campus are there to counter-balance the 1-2 packs of second-hand smoke you will be inhaling the moment you exit a building. (Seriously, do people still smoke this much?)
10. There are actually "other Moms" in school (and in classes) with me. I'm not the only one juggling motherhood and schooling. We smile at each other, knowing that because we're "old" we have a bond, and also we're in this for reals.

I have also learned about the Fibonacci sequence, Newton's Laws and how to solve numerous mathematical equations and problems.
Try this:
Find digits A, B, C, and D that solve the following cryptarithm:
ABCD
x 4
_____
DCBA


or this:
What is the maximum number of pieces of pizza that can result from 4 straight cuts?


Yup, I'm getting smarter by hanging out on campus!

My apologies to anyone who is young and in school and feels these stereotypes don't apply. You are a rare gem.

First Day of School

Life has been busy.

We went up north to visit family - including my baby brother who had just gotten off his mission for our church. The kids had fun with cousins, aunts and uncles and grandparents. It was also fun to stay with my Uncle Max and family. Everyone should be so lucky as to have an Uncle Max.

We got home in time to do laundry before we had more family fun. Mr. Man's Mom and sister came for a visit, followed by his step-dad, and then the day after they left we had a final weekend of fun with his Dad and step-mom.

They left on the first day of school. Which was monumental in so many ways. Here we are:

The Toddler didn't start preschool the same day, so he's not pictured here... but basically we are a school-going family now. (And I imagine I won't be blogging as much anymore.)

This picture (and post) is mainly to satiate my mother's hunger for this photo.

At this very moment...

I came downstairs from vacuuming to find my children all anxiously engaged in a good cause. Moments like this make me feel like I must be doing something right, or else I'm just extremely blessed. Or both.


(And yes, my husband made me that swing the other day... for my birthday. I'm a lucky girl.)

Learning to Leap

I've been overwhelmed recently.
Too much to do, and too little time. I know most everyone can relate.
But the hard part for me is being stretched to do and try new things that I've never done before, either don't want to do, or don't think I can.

This summer Miss J and her friend have been attending a weekly ballet class put on by an amazing woman and mother that I admire. She has offered this class to the community free of charge (amidst her experience and fabulous resume), and it has been worth so much. I can't believe how much Miss J has learned and how far she has come. She has been, literally, stretched. She is amazing!

And so I have watched her each week and learned that little by little I can learn to stretch myself too. I hope.

Another Decade

Aside from the "ABCDEFG" song, this is his favourite ballad to sing. I'm the recipient of this song quite often... but decided to post this clip (from last month) today, because... well it's my 30th birthday!
(Don't forget to pause the music at the bottom first.)

Imaginary Friends

One of the best things about having multiple children is knowing about the different stages. The best thing about knowing about stages, is knowing that they are JUST stages and they won't (most likely) last long. And while there is great joy in that knowledge, there is also a bit of excitement when you get to experience one of the good stages again. We've recently hit the "imaginary friend" stage with The Toddler. And boy howdy, I had forgotten just how fun this stage can be. I seriously can hardly wipe the smile off my face. We've had such a variety of imaginary friends in our lives and home... it's hard to keep track of them. Some favourites have been "baby girl" who was constantly stuck up in a tree which would need to be climbed so she could be rescued, there was "Peter Pan" who always needed to sit in the seat I would rather sit on, and there was "my friend" who would tell a certain somebody to say bad words or do mean things (on second thought, that one is not a favourite, but definitely memorable).

The Toddler, who is probably the biggest liar in the house, has been talking about his "teacher" for months now. For a while I thought he was talking about his Sunday nursery teacher at church. Then I realized he was just trying to compensate for all the stories his siblings had about their teachers. But now his "teacher" has taken up with some new friends and even more stories. "My teacher makes me popcorn and gives me fruit snacks." "My teacher tells me I can stay up late and not go to bed when Mommy says." "My teacher read me lots of stories. I can't read. But my teacher read to me all day long. Mommy only read me and then stops."

Teacher rocks.

But now there's "Grandma" and even "the girlfriend." I'm getting jealous.

"Grandma gave me that toy and say I don't have to share it." - Which actually sounds like it could be true, except that it's his brother's lego that he bought with his own money.

"Grandma tell me I can ride my bike in the street." "Grandma makes me popcorn and chocolate chips and I don't ever brush my teeth." - What's with all the popcorn?

The other day in the car the kids were divulging their recent crushes. I force them to - since I'm their mother and need to know what to tease them about. They are always fiercely aware of anybody who may be sitting around them, since that's how Mr. Man and I met, and exceptionally keen to anyone nudging or kicking. The Toddler was not going to be left out of the conversation:

"My girlfriend kick me in the stomach. And hurt me. On purpose."

We all played along and expressed our deepest sympathy while laughing behind covered mouths.

I love this stage.

Long Summer Day

The boy was upset over what I was serving for dinner and marched off... after dinner I found him here:
I forgave him immediately for hating my cooking. Isn't he sweet?

Reminds me of THIS GUY.

The Roaring 20s

Last night I was lamenting with a friend that there are merely days before I hit the ripe old age of 30. And yes, the thought brought tears to my eyes. "What have I done with my life?" I asked. Her reply, "you have a nine year old" made me realize that while my twenties are nearing a grand finale, I have done something great and wonderful with them. No diplomas (yet), no awards, no titles, no magnum opuses, very little recognition or compensation and not a penny to my own hard-working name... but I have been utterly and completely immersed in motherhood.

If you knew me in my teens, you knew that I had grand goals for my life and was very outspoken when it came to marriage and motherhood. Basically I wanted neither... at least until I had managed to make a difference in the world and fulfill my goals in life.

Marriage came early for me and swept me off my feet. Nobody stopped me to tell me how young I really was, but I love who I married and I love that I have somebody who shares more than ten years of the same memories I do. Somebody to take walks with, holding hands, recollecting and dreaming.

And then, just to make all my "plans" a laughing stock, serendipity hit again and I soon became a mother. Postpartum depression sucked all the happiness out of me for almost a year and a half, and yet the true blessing that it left me was the inability to do anything but attempt at existing. My goals, my dreams... everything took the back burner while I tried to get through each day at a time. By the time I was blessed with relief, I was grounded and focused on my family first and foremost. You see, I never planned to be a mother, let alone a stay-at-home-mom, and postpartum depression forced me into a career that I had no idea I would love as much as I do.

I can't tell you how many diapers I have changed, owies kissed, swings pushed, books read, meals made or hugs given. But if anyone asks, that is what I've been doing with my life. And I only hope my 30s will bring more of the same... and then some.

Quote of the Week

8:30am the other morning, Mr. T came to wake me up and asked:

"So what's for breakfast Mom...... brunch?"

Yeah... we've been having some pretty late and slow mornings lately. That same boy made oatmeal for everyone this morning... so basically his sarcastic remark didn't phase me. Just made me laugh and put him to work!

Saturday was a Special Day...

It's the day we celebrated Mr. Man's birthday!!!
He woke up bright and early to do his mountain bike race.
Came home to some phone call birthday wishes, opening presents, and cinnamon buns for lunch. He barely had time for a shower before we headed out to do the Pioneer Day Fun Run. He opted out of the 5K after doing his 10 MILE bike ride and did the 1 mile with all our kids instead.


(Mr. T actually did really well and was WAY ahead of the rest of the family... such a phenomenal thing to see after all his leg and ankle issues and surgery!)
The Toddler gave up after a bit - it was also 90 degrees which is VERY HOT for us here. He drove in the van taking pictures with me!

The proud participants sporting their t-shirts.

We abandoned the other festivities... since tradition holds that we visit a beach on Mr. Man's birthday. We drove up a mountain (gorgeous drive) to Fairy Lake - and like fools dragged our sand toys and swimming suits only to find rocks and freezing cold water. It was beautiful though. We would have stayed longer, if there hadn't been a kajillion black flies swarming and biting everywhere. Since we are reading "Fablehaven" I told the kids to imagine they were fairies (since we were at Fairy Lake).


After a while we headed home to the comfort of our own backyard to enjoy the sandbox and hot tub - our personal beach!

Mr. Man requested brats and broccoli salad and instead of his traditional cherry cheesecake, he opted for sinful brownies. This chocolate lover didn't argue. After the kids were bathed and in bed we enjoyed a movie together.

I think he had a pretty nice relaxing day, doing many of the things he loves to do and we felt lucky that he wanted to spend the day with us - his favourite people.

Love you babe. And you know how much I like older men :)

"Caps, Caps for Sale"

During the witching hour tonight as I put my kids to work doing their roomopoly jobs while I finished up our soup and biscuits, I looked over to see The Toddler un-setting the table and declaring loudly: "Caps, caps for sale!"
Guess what book we read over and over today?!
He's one cute peddler. (And I love that he put the red "cap" on top!)

Like Father Like Son

Remember THIS?

Recently Mr. T decided to ride his bike down our local sledding hill, unsupervised. He had a great run his first try, but on his second round he bit the dust. His friend said his feet were flying in the air and his bike was upside down above him. I'm impressed he didn't break any bones.

The outing was with another family that we love spending our days with. They have four kids almost exactly our kids' ages and we just enjoy each other tremendously. First we rode our bikes over to the creek to swim... and nobody drowned, not even close. The the kids were climbing a HUGE pile of rocks, and nobody suffered too much from all the rockslides they created. So really, the bike crash was inescapable. We were definitely pushing our injury luck. I didn't have my camera that day, but took these pics a couple of days later.


Now, my brave boy tells the story with gusto. He, apparently, loved every minute of it. I have been taking him to "smaller" hills to practice his mountain biking skills. He can't help it; it's in his genes.

Speaking of which, Mr. Man rode in a 10 mile mountain bike race yesterday and came in fifth. Not bad for an old guy! (I can say that because it was his birthday too!!!)

Our Family Vacation: Camping at Yellowstone

Someone is Watching

I had another procedure on my foot yesterday, but after being gone camping, a trip to walmart was inescapable. I hobbled in with four rambunctious children, even with using gum as bribery. We had some returns to do and that took almost a million years. We had the oldest slowest person in the world trying to use the scanner thingamajig. After that we headed over to the in-store optometrist to have Miss J's glasses adjusted. That took another million years during which time my three boys decided that the jumbo card with dual seats was not actually a mode of transportation, but a jungle gym on which to climb, slide, jump from, swing on, etc. I gave them the evil eye while trying to communicate with the gal adjusting the glasses. Then when I saw The Toddler pushing on the back side of the cart and trying to climb in that part - just moments before it would slam down on his fingers, feet and head (can you picture the part I'm talking about?) I ran over and, though I wanted to scream, started a pep talk about how that was NOT SAFE! And we are safety kids and need to be safe, and NOT climb on that part of the cart, and did he want to earn his piece of gum, and we were almost done so could he please just sit in the seat part or did he want me to hold him... The tension was mounting for me, and we hadn't even started in on my grandiose list. That's when a woman whom I'd noticed eying my little monkeys as they maneuvered dangerously on the cart came over, touched my arm, looked me in the eye and said, "It's so nice to see a parent talking instead of yelling at children." I mumbled some sort of, "oh well... um... thank you" and then took a deep breath and thanked heaven I had been talking when I felt like yelling. And yes, I gave myself a literal pat on the back. That gave me the boost I needed to finish our walmart list and run three more errands and then hobble back home. A lot of mothering is done without anyone seeing what we're saying, how we're touching, or if we're actually actively doing it. Today's experience reminded me that SOMEONE is watching, always. And that SOMEONE can give us a boost anytime we need it.

The Green Couch

Tonight we sold our green couch. (Praise Craigslist.) Which means that we finally got our new leather couches. I should be happy, and really I am. But watching somebody drive away with my old green couch in the back of their pick-up felt like I was losing a piece of my life.

We bought that couch when we were expecting our third child. We were shopping at second-hand furniture shops for a dresser to accommodate our growing family, and just happened upon this couch. It was most unnatural for Mr. Man and I to agree on something for our home, and it happened so quickly, and was actually affordable, and so we traded in the black futon for our comfy green couch.

Our hometeacher at the time was gothic and strange, and upon his next visit informed us of how much he liked our new couch and how deep it was. His exact comment was, "I could totally spoon my wife on this couch." I'm telling you, that couch holds memories. Good and strange.

That couch was so incredibly comfortable. Many family members, upon visiting us, have slept on that green couch. My little brother spent weeks on that thing. I can picture dozens of children: neighbors, friends, cousins... who have sat and, ahem, jumped on that couch. My own children have peed and even thrown up on that couch. Mr. Man and I have, well, enjoyed being on that couch too.

How many movies have we watched together, games enjoyed, and family home evenings held on or around that couch? How many bowls of popcorn eaten (and mostly spilled) on that couch? How many days did I spend while on bed rest with one leg up on that couch? How many times have I cleaned that thing?

And now it's gone.

And I'm sort of sad. But also see it as a passing of days. Passing of student life. Passing of having babies and toddlers. Now our new couches will get to hold our memories and life passings... and I really need to google how to get throw up off of leather before it actually happens. Because it will.

Overheard

Across the street from us is a vacant field. When we first moved in there were two horses there. They vacationed somewhere else during the long winter and are now back. Every child in our neighborhood claims ownership to these beasts and each child or family has named them as well. Last night we walked across to admire, pet and feed Spotlight and Brownie (according to Little E) some oats. Little E was very protective of them, and hated that some of his siblings would continue to pet WHILE feeding them. He would scream and yelp over it, but my favourite was this line:

"Would you pet me while I was eating? I don't think so."

Summer Smiles

Summer seems to be flying by... and while the winters are long, the summers here really are divine. I'm glad. A short reprieve is needed.

My kids are fun ages, and I've been enjoying them being home, the comings and goings of friends, the more advanced games and play, and the fun conversations. I've found myself smiling a lot as I listen to them. I like having my chicks gathered round.

So here's a small list of things I want to remember that have made me smile this summer:

*our car cds have been Mamma Mia and Indigo girls (per my choice) and I love that the kids know every word and belt out these songs whether they are playing or not

*Harry Potter Camp, and how the kids were disappointed that it wasn't at a "real" castle, they didn't get "real" wands, their quiddtich brooms didn't "really" fly and the sorting hat didn't "really" talk - they had high expectations (with great imaginations) but still had a great time

*our weekly hikes: watching my kids be great explorers in the serious wilderness, watching their friendships (and even Miss J's crush) blossom with our hiking buddies

*putting sunscreen on my kids faces over and over - I love looking at their sweet faces but also enjoy seeing them grimace at the cold lotion

*quiet time: a few still read out loud when they read to themselves, and I love that

*the accomplishment my kids feel when they make breakfast (almost) all by themselves

*taking family bike rides

*the accessories and weapons my kids don, not to mention their oufits

*sleepy afternoons but late late nights with time to read and cuddle and falling asleep in random locations

I'm sure there will be many more smiles to come.

Day Trip

Saturday
10am- drop Mr. T off at friend's house, take other two boys to get gas and snacky food for trip
11ish - pack: basically fill a laundry basket full of pjs, an outfit or two for each kid, toothbrushes, etc.
11:45 -make peanut butter sandwiches for kids
12:10 - pick up Mr. T, drive to airport to pick up Mr. Man
-drive around airport several times
12:45 - find Mr. Man: hug kiss and start drive to Canada
1-6pm DRIVE
6pm - arrive at my sister's house, reunite with Miss J who has been with them for a few days
-order and eat SWISS CHALET (yum!)
-let kids play and visit, enjoy cuddling my little nephew
-try to get kids go sleep so the parents can play sans interruption

Sunday
8:30 am - have 7 kids and four adults ready for church - with one bathroom!
9am - be a part of my nephew's baby blessing (first time we've been there for one of her kid's blessings, and this is her third!)
12pm -luncheon with family and friends to celebrate baby's blessing
4pm -Mr. Man decides he really wants to sleep in his own bed (it's been weeks) so we take off for home instead of leaving the next morning at 4am
10pm -arrive home, enjoying lots of fireworks displays along the way





Thanks Sis! So glad we could be a part of your special day and see your sweet family again. Never thought I would spend the 4th of July in two countries though!

I will survive

I've been a single Mom for too many days. I'm coping fine really, and enjoying numerous chic flicks, but when I tripped hiking down a mountain yesterday and twisted my ankle (which swelled up to the size of a grapefruit) it just seemed to make all the little moments alone that much harder. Last night I had a Primary meeting and when asked how I was doing, it was one of those moments where I just let it all out. My poor friend.

She called today to take me out for a drive. I paid a sitter (my friend's daughter whom the kids adore) for an hour; and an hour was all I needed. We were out in the middle of nowhere chatting, woo-hoo-ing and even spitting gum into the air at high speeds! For a single hour today I had zero demands, zero responsibility and zero worries.

THIS:

+ THIS:

= SURVIVAL

I'm reminded of my Mom's utterance to my Dad at times of annoyance. She would often mutter "Go fly a kite!" The irony of it was Dad's passion for flying kites. I think that at times of stress, or even during the calm times, it's vital to "go fly a kite" or "go for a drive" and even to "stop and smell the roses." Quite literally. I'm glad I got away today. It's going to make the tomorrows a much smoother ride.

Just Me

It's way too late at night, and I should be journaling or thinking inside my mind... yet I'm letting it all spill out into the world wide web.

I've been thinking a lot about life, and love, and what's really important. I'm so touched by the lives and people I've been able to know and love in even my short lifetime. Honored, really. So many great spirits have touched mine. And I'm grateful. Grateful to have known love in so many shapes and forms. Aching for those who have yet to feel it, or those who have lost that lovin' feeling for a time. I've been there too. I think mostly, as I contemplate life and love in the wee hours of the night, that I'm grateful for those moments where I've felt known and loved - and not just by those around me. I know that there is a God who loves each one of us, and the He works through us to share that love with others. I can't tell you what that means to me. Precious really.

I hope that I can emanate that love. And miraculously, God allows us to be that medium. Even though it's just me. You are loved.